My husband doesn’t often ask me not to read a book but a few months ago he did just that. My bed time reading was The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford, and each night, after reading a few pages, I would disturb his slumber by my constant muttering and moaning, along the lines of, “that woman”, and “someone needs to tell her that they are not HER babies”. So much for a relaxing read before drifting off! Contented Little Health Visitor I certainly was not!

For those of you who have never heard of The Contented Little Baby Book, it’s yet another childcare manual but with special emphasis on the importance of routine in the baby’s life. Ford, who is a former “maternity nurse”, instructs parents how to bring up their children, according to her methods, which, if strictly adhered to, will guarantee a life free of “sleepless nights, colic, feeding difficulties and many of the other problems that the experts convince us are a normal part of parenting”. Has that grabbed your attention? Not surprisingly, offering such a guarantee, Ford has become a best seller.

You may wonder why I was even reading such a book after working for over 29 years with mums and babies. I apologise that my tone is beginning to sound alarmingly like Gina Ford’s, who constantly boasts that she has “years of hands on experience… having lived with and cared for hundreds of different babies”, which she refers to as “my babies”. The reason I decided to read the book was because I was utterly amazed by the number of parents I was dealing with who were slavishly trying to follow Ford’s very strict routines. They would thrust upon me a detailed summary of their babies and their daily routine, before I’d even had chance to ask how they were. Sometimes they guiltily confessed they were making minor deviations to the prescribed routine. Shame on them! One lady greeted me at her door, after her first night home from hospital with her newborn, saying “we’ve broken every rule in the book!” Ante-natal classes I was teaching became debate forums between “parents to be” as to who was a disciple of The Ford method compared to The Baby Whisperer (Tracy Hogg) school of thought. What happened to the days when everyone in the group just looked to ME for advice and information on raising their babies? (Sorry, I’m sounding a bit like Gina Ford again. I confess, I don’t have all the answers!). The dilemma I face in criticising these books is that nevertheless I agree with quite a lot of the advice given. Yet, my argument is (and most particularly with Ford) that though babies do benefit from SOME routine, it should not be so slavishly adhered to that all chances of spontaneity are crushed and natural parenting responses are never allowed to blossom. What’s more, the early days are all about cuddling and patting and gazing at your lovely new bundle of joy (well some of the time anyway!) I hold back a little when teaching classes now as I have had girls say to me “I would have liked you to do my post natal home visits but I know you are against routines”. Not true, just being a slave to them! What I have learned is that for some Mums, and Dads, they really need them, so I work along with them.