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Keeping in Touch with the Extended Family Overseas

on Thursday, 12 February 2015. Posted in Family Life

Effective ways of maintaining family bonds across borders

Keeping in Touch with the Extended Family Overseas

Dealing with living apart from our loved ones is something that many of us share in common here in Hong Kong. Whether it’s because of a job opportunity, or a relationship, or for the desire to provide the best for our children, packing up and relocating abroad has become commonplace. Unfortunately, the downside to this is leaving behind the comforts of home, primarily our families - but it could be a lot worse! 

 

Luckily, we live in an age where major barriers like geographical distance have been broken down thanks to advanced technology and numerous options for speedy and frequent communication, so embrace it! Here are some of the best (and most popular) methods effective in sustaining strong long-distance relationships within families, especially the bond between your little ones and their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and so on - try them out!

 

Go Digital

Seriously, what would we do without technology? In this day and age, we simply wouldn’t be able to survive, and keeping in touch with family overseas would go back to being nearly impossible. Of course, we’d have to resort to the agonisingly slow medium of sending mail by post again, but there would be no way of interacting visually or in real-time - so be thankful of this truly amazing invention and make the most of it!

 

In most cases, Gran and Pops will need a hand buying a computer or tablet, setting it up and learning how to use it, but once that’s out of the way, there’s nothing standing in the way of catching up whenever you please (except maybe time zones!)...

 

Online video calling

The most common tool used worldwide for staying in touch is Skype, or similar apps like FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Viber, WeChat and so on. Why? ‘Cause it’s the closest you’ll get to spending time in person.

 

While some may prefer long chats once a fortnight and others, short daily conversations, the frequency and length of your Skype sessions tend to vary with your children’s age. Babies and toddlers may not be responsive to Skyping or show any interest, but don’t be disheartened, your family will understand! Just point your webcam towards where the little ones are playing and let the grandparents watch - they’ll love it!

 

Get creative and build special memories: let them sit in during dinners, bath-times, changing, and playtime, as this is a great way for them to feel a connection and involvement in the day-to-day encounters, no matter how uneventful. Encourage the kids to tell them what’s been going on, and to show them their toys, books and new clothes. From the other end, Gran can read stories to the kids over Skype, sing songs or even join in on a board-game!

 

 

Set up group chats

Making use of social media like Facebook or even apps like Whatsapp is another effective way of keeping everyone in the loop. Set up a group chat on either and share photos, videos, voice recordings and messages whenever you want! The ease of snapping a photo and directly sending it over in a matter of seconds takes away the task of having to write up an email or letter once in a while to keep them updated, and with group chats, whatever you send will reach every person included. 

 

 

Share an online cloud account

If you’re a new mum, it’s normal to hundreds of photos of your precious bundle everyday - you just can’t get enough of the cuteness! And believe it or not, the grandparents are just as eager to every single snap! So to keep them bombarded with an endless stream of adorable shots that they can show off to all their friends and neighbours, set up a shared account for an online storage cloud like Dropbox, iCloud or OneDrive. Configure the settings on your phone so that every photo or video you take immediately is saved in your cloud and therefore, instantly accessible by the extended fambam! All you have to do is share the log-in details (username and password) and the account can be accessed from any computer.

 

 

Create a blog

Blogging is gaining popularity for new parents, mainly for two reasons: keeping family members abroad in the know about what’s going on, and also to keep a record of the early days to store as memories, and even to show your kids once they’re grown up! Share little stories here and there about your lives and post pictures. If you’re interested in starting this, websites like Wordpress, Blog, Blogger, SquareSpace or Wix are good free blog sites to start. Don’t worry about any privacy issues - your blog can be easily protected and set so that only the few people you’ve approved can see it.

 

 

What can you do to help keep family ties strong?

- Talk about distant family members often (just little comments like: "Grandpa loves carrots!" or "Auntie Carol and I used to go swimming every weekend when we were kids..."

- Display photos of extended family members around your home

- Update overseas relatives whenever you can with recent photos of the kids, paintings they've done, crafts they've made, school report cards or certificates of achievement etc.

- Allow the kids uncensored privacy when chatting with relatives

Send e-Mails and e-Cards

Every birthday, Christmas, Easter and so on (or actually whenever!), send out a nice e-Card to the aunties, uncles, grandparents, cousins and in-laws. Again, register a free email account for the grandparents and teach them how to send and open received emails, attach files and so on. Even if your children are too young at the moment, an email account is always good to have, plus, Granny can practice using it and will be a email master by the time the kids are old enough.

 

 

 

Back to Basics

Now we’ve covered the effective means of staying in touch, let’s go back to the good old-fashioned modes of communication. If Gran and Grandpa are willing to get acquainted with the Internet and tackle this technology thing once and for all, you’ve got to be willing to compromise and try the classic methods that they are most familiar with...give and take! Besides, there is something more personal and sincere about these following tips:

 

 

Snail-Mail 

Know anyone who doesn't love receiving mail by post? Neither do we! Every once in a while, take a break from the digital communication and help your cherub write a nice letter to the relatives. It doesn’t have to be anything long, just a simple “I Love You” will melt their hearts! And before you seal that envelope, add a couple of your tot’s drawings, some printed out photos and any other bits and pieces you think they’d appreciate. Or why not turn it into a little package and send over a gift. On your little girl or boy’s birthday, ask relatives to send a small care package over with a couple of small gifts inside and a personally-addressed. And when you go on a family vacation, be sure to send over a postcard so they can start a collection and look back at it.

 

 

International calls

It may not always be possible for your relatives - especially the elderly ones - to utilize technology, but it’s not the end of the world! After all, before the Internet era, people corresponded internationally by phone without any problems! However, the main concern regarding international calls is usually the cost, and racking up a huge bill unknowingly! So if walking grandma and grandpa through the process of downloading FaceTime and so on is simply not an option for you, then at least educate them on the smart way to make calls overseas (remember, this varies from country to country). Help them purchase a rechargeable calling card and set up clear instructions on what numbers to dial, relevant country codes, how to top-up, check remaining balance etc.

 

 

Visit Whenever Possible

Finally, it goes without saying that whenever either party is faced with the chance to fly over for a visit, it must be taken! Air travel is forever becoming more and more accessible with cheaper options cropping up all the time, plus you never know when the next opportunity might come, so grab the bull by the horns! No matter how frequently you talk to your family abroad, there's nothing more personal meeting them in the flesh! And if you’re able to, help the grandparents out by contributing to the airfare!

 

 

 

 

 

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