| I have exactly the same envy towards my very good helper from the very beginning. So I worked out a routine and now my baby is attached to me, and I am a working mom too. It takes a lot of energy and persistence but it sure pays off, and when you come to think of it, your baby is only gonna be this small once in your life time. (when they are teenagers, they wanna fly away and be free...)
1) Every morning, wake your baby up yourself, or be the first person she sees when she's up. Then do the changing diapers and clothes for her, feed her breakfast or milk yourself. Just do everything yourself without your maid around until you have to go to work. Eat breakfast together or play a bit. Maid has to be out of sight.
2) Every evening after work, again maid can go back to her usual household chores and leave baby to you to take care. Again, please ask her not to distract baby when he's with you. Do all the diaper changing yourself. Playtime and dinner time is with mama and papa. Of course that means you have to feed her yourself. Bathtime is definitely parent's time. And finally mom should put baby to bed everynight without maid around. This will take a while for baby to get used to but again spend as many hours with him and reassure him he's not alone.
3) Spend all weekends with baby and try to do everything yourself as if you have no maid. Please dont bring maid along if you are all going out and try to take care of baby yourself in restaurants and going out. It's not that hard really. That's what parents are suppose to do by the way. We are just so spoiled in HK with helpers we forgot it's our job to be the parents.
4) A lot of people have the maid sleep with baby, it's better to have yourself with baby or baby alone and you looking out for him during the night. That way whenever he awakes and find mommy he'll grow to attached security and warmth to you.
5) Have a good talk with your helper to explain how important it is for her not to disturb or distract baby when you are home. Make her understand you want to have a closer bonding with the child and you need her cooperation to help achieve that.
There is really no easy way but if you put in the work and time, it'll pay off. I have lost probably 700 hours of sleep in my baby's first year but when my baby would stop crying/temper whenever I carry her, or reach out her arms for me when I come home from work, it sure is a good feeling.
If you decide to let the maid take care of him, then don't whine and eventually they will know who the mommy is (as all my friends tell me).  |