| hi,
I couldn't agree more with HappyV's comments - the problem in Asia (with the ability to hire affordable full time domestic help and have parents and in-laws drop their own lives to become surrogate parents) is that our generation believe we can have it all - good income stream from both parents working, beautiful house and beautiful bonded family......funny thing is that I have yet to see an example of 2 career parents with well adjusted, secure and happy children and and a happy marriages......you can't have your cake and eat it too!!!!!
While I do understand a proportion of working mothers work becos they financially cannot afford not to (ie the family would starve) but there are a whole host of women who work for semi-selfish reasons (this is not an attack on the modern women, men can easily give up their careers to be home makers too) eg. to afford 3 investment properties in different countries etc. Our children don't need more toys/better schools/fancy holidays etc, they need either their mum or dad at home with them full time (I have heard so many rationalising of "quality time" with children - children don't have this adult concept of "quality time", they need you there when they are happy AND when they are sad/lonely/scared) imparting their values on their children. Alot of mothers think it's an ok situation given helper is supervised by 2 sets of grandparents and possibly even a 2nd helper but for a little person growing up, this is just more confusing, a russian roulette of helping hands not knowing who they are going to get within a day and parents wonder why their LOs are confused/unsettled/displaying "different" behaviour? Children don't need a whole host of attendees, they need their main caregiver to provide security, a sense of belonging, stability....for those that are having issues with your helper being too attached to your LO, at least they are developing an attachment to someone. There is a whole host of emotional and psychological developmental problems that come with babies/toddlers who do not "attach" - I am no children development expert but do google "Attachment Disorders in children" for a insightful read.  |