[premama]

Hello,

I have a big dilemna and was wondering if any other mums had to deal with the same problem...

I have a helper who is really good with babies. Initially, I thought this was a real blessing. However, my baby is now 3 months old and seems overly attached to my helper - for example, while I'm playing with her, she would smile a little but when my helper comes along, her whole face lights up and she would get very excited and start "talking".

I tried to brush it off, thinking that I was being very sensitive, but it's now built up and I feel so hurt when I see my baby react to my helper as if she's the mum, not me. I'm breastfeeding my baby and spending as much time with her as possible but since she's my first baby, perhaps my "playing skills" are not as good as my helper. Everytime I read about the special bond the mother should have with the baby, I feel hurt, and every time my baby seems so happy with the helper instead of me, I feel like something is wrong.

I've tried to tell myself that I should look out for my baby's best interests i.e. if she's happy with the helper, then let it be. But I only wish that I could give her that joy.

Sometimes, my baby will even cry after the helper leaves her and looks to me for milk - I feel like she sees me as a source of food only (as ridiculous as that sounds).

I've asked my helper to spend less time with my baby, espcially as I'm still on maternity leave and I can spend more time with the baby at home. But I'll be going back to work next month and I don't know what I should do when I go back to work. I really don't want to have to fire my helper as she's very good and I know that she really does care for my baby and has no "ulterior motive".

If you have experienced something similar, I would really appreciate your comments.