[ckchan2000]

Hi adahc,

I totally understand your situation. We went through the same kind of problems. We were in Ireland at the time, I think my baby was 4 months old, when she started sleep in her own room. We would hold her and then eventually she would fall asleep on our arms, and then we would put her into the cot, but the minute we did that, she would cried and sit up. So it could take hours before she goes to bed. I went to my community nurse for serious help because at that stage, I was too tired and of course "no life" at all.
The nurse gave out to me for being a typical first time mother, and said "you have to leave her in the cot, let her cry, initially let her cry for 25 minutes, and then go in and sothe her, but do not take her out of the cot, then she will quiet down a bit, and then leave her again, and of course, she will do it again, cried and cried, and at this stage, she is totally wet with tears and sweats." Unless they are totally persistance, after the second time, they will fall asleep themselves. You will have to do it for 3 days, after the third day, they won't really bother with the crying, maybe a few minutes, and then they won't even bother, cause they know you won't bent the rules. It is tough initially but life is much better after. It is better for you and her/him in the long run.

My daughter is 16 months old, she is still a little bit like that but it doesn't help when the grandparents are around spoiling her, and because both my husband and I are working, we do hold her to bed a little longer than we supposed to. But usually she goes to bed within 25 minutes. I usually give her some milk, her dummy, and massages her arm to her tummy gently, she usually falls asleep then.

I have friends who didn't do that, and they are now 3 years old, they are still sleeping in the same room as the parents and required soothing!

I know it is very stressful, I am not sure do you have any maid or relations to help out, but if you want to just talk to someone, pm me, I will give you a ring.
You are not the other one in that boat, but you have to do something about it.

Take care
Cecilia