| That's us as well... sometimes I feel like I'm "stuck in the middle" between my parents (who sometimes aren't what my husband expected from in-laws) and my hubby... and vice versa too. It can really turn into a me against them kinda thing, for both of us...
We've OFTEN had to sit down and work through "This is why this is done in my culture. I really like this and I think it's important. These things are tradition but aren't as important to me and I actually prefer it done the way that YOUR culture does this other thing..."
We're currently pregnant with our first child (first grandkid for both sides of the family) so we haven't had to deal with the way the grandparents relate yet, but we've already talked about a LOT of it... we've already set some boundaries (for example, my MIL is not going to come stay with us for a month and a half to cook me all the confinement food and make sure that I don't wash my hair before I'm allowed to) - some times BOTH of us have to make sacrifices in what we want... but we need to remember to be a TEAM in the way we make these decisions - and ultimately, your relationship with your spouse is even more important than your relationship with your parents... we're our OWN family unit now... not "Chinese" or "white-Australian" but mixed, unique, individual... that's the aim of ANY marriage, to become your OWN family unit...  |