Hi Tracey
Congrats on the birth of Bella!
Just sticking my nose in here. I also put on 20 kg with each of my two pregnancies. The first one, I put on 20 then lost 10, so was 10 kg up on my pre-pregancy weight. The second one, I put on 20 then lost 10 as well, but then moved to HK and the extra walking meant I gradually lost the other 10. So now I am back to the original 10 kilos overweight! Need to get motivated to lose it soon!
I lost all muscle tone in my stomach and have no abs whatsoever, so I still look pregnant and my second son is 9 months now. I think if you are motivated and can afford a trainer, you will make great gains once your body has recovered a bit. They say six weeks after the birth you will have lost all the 'easy' weight, and will then have to work to lose whatever's left over.
Don't give yourself grief about your body at this point, there are hormones going beserk in there at the moment and you have much more important things to worry about.
And don't worry about your baby losing weight after birth. It is totally normal and expected that they will lose 10% of their body weight in the week after birth. That is not even slightly abnormal. I just encourage you to keep going with the breastfeeding, once it settles down (it does take a while) it is REALLY convenient, and obviously great for your baby.
Maybe it would be good to give the formula via a supply line rather than a bottle, so your breasts still get the stimulation of the baby's sucking? You could contact the La Leche League leaders (contact details here:
http://www.lllhk.org/Contact.html) and ask how they work and how to get one. Breastfeeding is such a supply and demand thing that it's great to get all the milk coming from the baby sucking at the breast rather than the bottle, if possible, and supply lines are a way of making that happen.
Good luck and welcome to the world of parenting!
Jen