[pkh]

My 8 month old daughter has started to get fussy before bed and refuses to go to sleep on her own unless I rock her to sleep. Before this she used to go to bed on her own after the night feeding. I tried letting her cry but she is stubborn and cries non-stop. Should I continue to let her cry? Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!

[gumbed]

Read Gina Ford's Little Contented Baby Book. Poorly written but the advice in it worked for me and also for many people that I know.

[rani]

PKH,

I'm sorry, I wish I could help. Dhruv has never slept on his own. I didn't have the heart to let him cry-it-out. When he was younger he was rocked. Now I have to lie down next to him until he falls asleep and then we move him into his cot.

Do you think your baby maybe teething and just needs some extra comfort to get to bed?

Rani

[rani]

Another excellent book is by Elizabeth Pantley - "The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night"

Tips from The No-Cry Sleep Solution:
Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier

More info here:
http://shop.geobaby.com/product_info...roducts_id=605

[Clare Sheasby]

I also used the "The Contended Little Baby Book" just to give me some guidance. I don't think you should follow it to the letter, but I do agree that a good routine before bedtime lets your baby know what is happening and what is expected of them. Also if your baby does cry whilst you are attempting to put them to bed I recommend not picking them up each time, but just going in the room and letting them know you are there, maybe rub their tummy or head and then again leave the room again. It may take several tries but seemed to work for me. My daughter is also put in her cot fully awake if possible so that she can settle herself to sleep.

[yvonneheavyside]

This is quite a common problem. Have you thought about doing controlled crying? It's not as bad as it sounds! Basically it means you put the baby down and let her cry for about 5 mins (if you can bare this) then go in and pick her up and comfort her until she stops really screaming (but still sobbing) then put her down. Next time wait another minute (now 6 mins) and repeat the same routine, extending the time by 1 minute between picking her up . Keep doing it by extending the space in between picking her up by 1 minute. Eventually she should fall asleep. This is a gentler way than just letting her cry as she feels secure and knows you will come back and comfort her.
Have a strict bed time routine and wind down period so that she picks up the clues that it's now bed time.
Good luck
Yvonne, Health Visitor

[aldougie]

My daughter spent a month and a bit teething and during this time she was up every 2 hours. We hoped that once she stopped her sleeping would return to normal unfortunately she has continued to wake every 2 hours and although we have tried sharing night duties she only wanted my breast to put her back to sleep! As I'm working I couldn't continue doing this so we had no choice but to do the controlled crying as detailed by Yvonne (with Yvonne's help in fact!). My husband and I started controlled crying this weekend (he has been up with her so she can't smell my breast milk) and it certainly wasn't as bad as either of us expected. Last night she woke once at 4pm for 40 mins so it is working which compared to the usual 2 hourly is a miracle!

I know a lot of people and I include myself in this category hate the thought of controlled crying but it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought (although we haven't finished yet and I could be eating my own words!). I think the fact that you don't leave your baby to cry on their own and are constantly reassuring them does help.

Don't know if you are still breastfeeding but if you are I would suggest that you get your partner to go to her at night so she doesn't immediatley expect to be fed or uses you as her way of going back to sleep.

[scr]

Hi aldougie,
Thanks for sharing that. How old is your daughter ?