Baby spoilt ?
- 03-19-2004, 05:54 PM #1Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
- Hong Kong
Baby spoilt ?
My 2 month old wants to be carried all the time. I end up having her in the Baby Bjorn carrier basically throughout the day. If I put her down after she has fallen asleep in the Baby Bjorn she will wake up within a short time. She sleeps much longer if carried in the baby carrier. Am I "spoiling" her by getting her used to be being carried as some have suggested ? Would like to know how other mothers handle or deal with their babies. Some have suggested that I need to train my baby but I just do not have the heart to hear her cry.
- 03-19-2004, 08:26 PM #2
I think you have to let her sleep on her own, I know how it feels when you hear her cry but babies are very adaptable, they'll get use to it in no time.
My daughter for instance, when she was sleepy, I had to carry her and walk around (or nurse her)until she falls asleep up until she was 7 months(she's a year now ^_^) . I thought it was what I have to do to make her fall asleep, but then I started trying to put her in her cot whenever she shows the sign she is sleepy, the first night she cried for quite a while but I stayed with her beside her cot, then the next few night I stayed with her then after a few nights, I just give her a ****, then she goes to sleep on her own. It's not as easy as it sound coz you can't pick her up even if she cries (that's the hard bit), but they'll get use to it in the end. Thou it may vary from baby to baby.
And also I've used the method teaching in this book called "No-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, it's really useful and it teaches you how to "train" your baby to sleep on through the night step by step. I think they sell in in the geobaby shop, worth taking a look.
Hope this would help, take care!
- 03-19-2004, 09:24 PM #3
Could it be that she loves to be cuddled and kept warm? Would it help if she was well swaddled?
- 03-22-2004, 11:06 AM #4Baby Guru
- Join Date
- Mar 2003
- New Territories
I think the important question is not whether or not the baby is being "spoilt" but whether or not you mind carrying her.
If the baby sleeps better that way and you are satisfied to carry her all the time, then go for it -makes your life and the baby's life happy.
If you are getting tired of carrying her, then you might want to consider trying a "baby bouncie seat" or a swing. IMHO, 2 months is too young for "sleep training" I think even Dr. Ferber of "Solving your Child's Sleep problems" doesn't recommend attempting to do sleep training until 6 months.
Different babies require different things. My son (nbow 6 years old) was a very touchy baby and wanted to be held all the time. He was hard to get to sleep and I would have to go to him a lot in the night. My older child was easier, and could sleep by herself sooner.
- 03-22-2004, 02:32 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
- Hong Kong
Thank you all for your advice. I think at the end of the day I am undecided whether I want to train my baby to sleep on her own or not. I have read somewhere that letting a baby cry herself to sleep (i.e. sleep training) even though it works (to the benefit of the parent) is detrimental to the baby. Apparently the theory is that when baby is being comforted and held when they cry the brain develops certain connections (forgot the technical word - synapses ?). Hence the Gina Ford method is not encouraged. My baby sleeps with me and I nurse her back to sleep when she wakes in the night so night time is not a big problem. It is more during the day that she wants to be carried.
- 03-22-2004, 03:49 PM #6Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2003
As Loupou said sleep training or controlled crying shouldn't be done until a baby is a minimum of 6 months and controlled crying when it is done properly doesn't mean leaving your baby to cry it out on their own. You are constantly reassuring your baby that you are there but not going to rock, feed or whatever it is you do to put them to sleep. Gina Ford in my opinion is virtually impossible to follow if you are breastfeeding and are doing it on demand.
From my own experience I would say that nursing to sleep is something that should be avoided when your baby is older and at 2 months I don't think you have anything to worry about!. If you do continue to nurse your baby to sleep as she gets older she won't be able to put herself to sleep which is completely draining for you (I speak from my own experience here!). There is definitely something to be said for putting your baby into bed whilst they are awake so that they get used to the idea of going to sleep by themselves.
- 03-22-2004, 08:44 PM #7
For the first four months my younger daughter seemed permanently attached to me. She was a very unsettled baby and needed to be held a lot. Then overnight she calmed down and had a complete personality change.
My elder daughter I could feed to sleep every night from the time she was 3 months and she wouldn't wake until morning. So I thought this would be a great idea for the baby...sometimes she does fall asleep during her last feed, other times not. The other times she has a good crying whinge for 5-10 mins and then sleeps.
I've heard about a lot of parents who've been able to put their babies down and after a few nights they will fall asleep without crying - unfortunately 11 months on, I'm not one of them. If you are one of them, what's the secret?????
The best thing about being a second time parent is that you know that eventually things will sort out in terms of sleep, reaching milestones and becoming more settled. And whenever I catch myself carrying the baby around all the time I remember the story my mother-in-law told me about how she took my husband (the third child) to the doctor when he was about 18 months old because he wasn't walking, and the doctor simply said "STOP CARRYING HIM!"
But they are only babies for such a short time, and really they are only "light" enough to carry for such a short time too.
Can you really spoil a baby by making sure they feel settled and secure?
- 03-23-2004, 11:30 AM #8
momo and armstroe:
It worked with me, but I'm not sure whether it was just pure luck...
For the first 100 days, my baby just refused to sleep if wasn't held. We would rock and cradle him until he fell asleep in our arms. But when we tried to put him in his crib, even HOURS after he had gone to sleep, he would just wake right up. One day, at 2 weeks old, he stayed awake for 6 hours during the day! He was breast-fed at that time. And he just loved nibbling on me. He actually didn't drink. He was too tired to suck anything out of me.
My baby was born with one tooth, so at 3 months old, we were recommended to give him some solid. Heinz baby cereal. He started to become more relaxed and sleep longer. It made us wonder whether he actually was just hungry and I didn't have enough milk for him. A week after the solids, I tried to put him down in his crib when he was very sleepy, but not yeat asleep. He cried for a few minutes the first night, but was too tired to fight or even open his eyes. We tried again and agian both at nights and at nap times. At 3 1/2 months old, he slept from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m.! I went in to nurse him once at about 10:30 p.m. Shortly after that, he just didn't want to get up at 10:30 any more. I felt very lucky.
Now at 13 months, my son sleeps straight from 7 to 7, and has been since 7 months old. Sometimes I hear him talking at nights, but we NEVER have to go in. He falls back asleep by himself. I believe that's it's okay to let babies cry once in a while. They have to learn to sooth themselves to sleep.
When you're nursing, it's hard to say no. I truly understand.