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control crying

  1. #9
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i would NOT try it with a baby so young. when a baby is that young, they cry for a reason, not because they are mad at you or can't settle themselves.

  2. #10
    Slee is offline Registered User
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    Mamalicious, you definitely don't want to be using controlled crying, it is for a totally different age group and problem. It sounds like your daughter has colic or is getting too tired by the end of the day and thus wound up and unable to sleep. For starters, try settling her earlier in the evenings before she gets overtired (bath, massage, dark room etc) but I really recommend you call a midwife for some support and guidance and to find out what is causing the crying. Hulda at Annerley is fantastic from personal experience (www.amidwife.com) and I've also heard lots of good things about Yvvonne Heavyside.

    Once you've got your nerves back (if you are feeling anything like I did at that stage), there are some good books about that might help. Have you read the Baby Whisperer or The Contented Little Baby? Both are good for learning about waking and sleeping, especially how to settle a baby. I'd start with the Baby Whisperer as she really gives a lot of insight into what babys feel, what their crys mean (different sounds = different needs) and lots on how to sooth. She is also less hardcore then The Contented Little Nazi author Gina Ford, but during a time of despiration her routines worked for our daughter!

  3. #11
    barbwong_130 is offline Registered User
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    Mamalicious,
    I have a copy of the Australian Association of Infant Mental Health’s Policy Statement on Controlled Crying. They no longer seem to have it available on a web site.

    One of their points is:
    If "controlled crying" is to be used it would be most appropriate after the child has an understanding of the meaning of the parent's words, to know that the parent will be coming back and to be able to feel safe without the parent's presence.

    If you send me your e-mail address in a private message I can send you a copy.
    Barb

  4. #12
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    Just a quick note to let you know we sell both books on ShopinHK

    Babywhisperer and Contented Baby
    Founder of GeoBaby.Com

  5. #13
    dacia is offline Registered User
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    My baby cried to be carried 3 times a night EVERY night since he was 6 months old. Sometimes, it takes us 2 hours to lull him back to sleep. Once, I let him cry for an hour non stop, and by the time I carried him, he was sobbing uncontrollably for another half hour. Then I fed him some water, as I figured he'd be thirsty from all that screaming, and he drank almost 100ml at a go. It was painful for me to see him in this situation so i carried him whenever he cried for the next few months.

    And when he was about 15 months old, he slept through the night at the time he started to walk. He was walking so much in the day that he was physically exhausted at night. I had carried him 3-5 times every night for 9 months and was surprised he suddenly could sleep through the night.

    I hope controlled crying works with your baby. I, too, had so much frustration forcing my tired and limp body in the middle of the night, almost every other hour, to carry my baby. I try to hold my baby and turn my frustration and lack of sleep to love as I touch my baby's soft skin and feel his little heartbeat next to mine.

  6. #14
    barbwong_130 is offline Registered User
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    The Australian Association of Infant Mental Health’s Policy Statement on Controlled Crying ia at http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.o...d%20Crying.pdf

  7. #15
    jane01 is offline Registered User
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    I always seem to have an opinion on sleep issues !

    1. I think an 8 month old is more than ready for controlled crying. I have read the Australian article as well as a similar one by the American Infant Mental Health...not sure I have the name right there. I think both articles fail to recognise that by doing controlled crying for a few nights, the baby actually cries LESS than a baby who wakes constantly in the night for many months or years. So, add up all the unattended crying minutes of a baby doing controlled crying vs a baby who wakes up constantly for another year or so. Controlled crying just seems the more humane option for both parents and bub. I also think at 8 months a baby needs a good nights sleep. If they wake up many times in the night they can't possibly be as well rested.

    I recognise that not everyone will agree with my opinion and different people feel very strongly about this issue.

    2. I think 5 weeks is too young to try controlled crying, as they baby is too young to learn what it is supposed to do. However, some babies just like a grizzle before they go to sleep, that is their settling method. I would make sure bubs is fed, dry, warm, etc, then ****es, cuddles and goodnight in a darkened room. If he starts crying, leave it for a few minutes, before going in and patting/stroking/etc. If bubs is still upset, pick him up and reassure him. When he is calm, try again. At 5 weeks, if they haven't settled in, say 40 mins or so, I'd get him up and go for a walk or something to change scenery.

    The Baby Whisperer book describes this technique (pick up and put down method) better than I can. The author tells the story of the first few times taking a hundred pick ups and put downs before bub goes to sleep, but eventually they recognise the sleep cues and don't fight it so much.

    Also remember that babies will cry the most in the first 6 weeks of their life, getting worse at around 6 weeks. By 3 months they will be getting better and by 6 months you'll (hopefully) have forgotten all the pain.

    Just do whatever you need to do to get through those first 6 weeks. If that means leaving bubs to cry in the cot for 10 mins whilst you have a sanity break and a cup of tea, so be it.

    There are some sleep and settling strategies available at the Karitane website:
    http://www.swsahs.nsw.gov.au/karitane/docs/survival.asp
    for relevant age groups. Karitane is a sleep school in Australia.

    Good luck.

  8. #16
    shalom is offline Registered User
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    Unhappy

    thanks jane01. i had many people discouraging me from doing control crying that sometimes it made me feel like i am a bad mother. but if i dont do something about ds crying, i will go insane plus i am so out of sleep that i cannot function in the day time. i will try control crying tomorrow and i have expected the worst!!! how long do you think an 8 month old will cry for??

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