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Can Someone Help?

  1. #1
    Seraphimbeauty is offline Registered User
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    Can Someone Help?

    Does anyone else have the same problem where there son/daughtr i really mean to other people and babies, my son is 11months old and he hits,kicks and pulls hair on purpose, does anyone else hav this prob?and what did they do to help it?

  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    a baby that age does not understand "mean"...

    he is doing something for the reaction that he gets from you...

    have you taught him "no" yet?

    i'm in the process of trying to teach "no" to my 10.5 month old son. i think that he's starting to understand what i mean, but he is testing to see if he must stop what he's doing....it will take, i'm guessing, the rest of my life telling him "no" before he understands it!

    being a chinld means testing boundaries, learning what is acceptable and what is not.

    what have you done so far to teach your son that this is not acceptable behaviour?

  3. #3
    Seraphimbeauty is offline Registered User
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    when i tell him no, he just laughs at me, i dont understand where he got that from...but when he smacks me I firmley say No and he'll keep doing it except harder or sometimes meaner....I don't know what else to do

  4. #4
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    tell him "do not hit mummy" "if you hit me again, you go to have a time out"
    do not allow the time out in his room(that's where his toys are, and where he sleeps)...take him to the place for the time out and tell him "you are here because you hit mummy, stay here until i come to get you"

    leave him for 1 minute(he's almost one year old)

    when 1 minute is finished, go and get him and say again, "i put you here because you hit mummy. say "sorry" to mummy" if he says sorry(or bables something...i know he's still a baby....) then bring him out to play again...

    repeat it again and again and never compromise....DO NOT give in to him...if you give in one time, he'll think you may give in again...

    watch SUPERNANNY to get a better idea of what to do...i love her!

  5. #5
    jane01 is offline Registered User
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    I'm with Carang on this one, but at 11 months, he might be a bit young to understand/learn from the Supernanny techniques. Although it can't hurt to try.

    At 11 months, he isn't doing it to hurt you or be naughty. He doesn't know how to be naughty. He is doing it to see what happens, exploring his world.

    His greatest reward is your reaction and attention. Remove it. When he hits you, I would firmly say NO, that hurts mummy and remove yourself. Eg. go into another room, the other side of the room, if you are out put him in his pram, etc. No more discussion, just don't reward the bad behaviour. At that age it might take a while, but he will eventually get the message.

    At other times of the day, show him how to gently touch you (eg. stroke your hair, etc) and give him positive encouragement. All the time, try to catch him doing something good and reward him with your love, affection and attention. He'll soon learn what works !

    Good Luck

  6. #6
    loupou is offline Baby Guru
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    When I did the firm "No" thing, I would also frown, to let the baby know that this is not good.

    The suggestion to say "No that hurts [frown], touch nicely [demonstrate how to stroke, etc.] was useful.

    *never* laugh or smile if he hurts you. He'll think it's a game.

  7. #7
    jane9898 is offline Registered User
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    I will say NO and raise my voice whenever he does things that i dont wish him to. And then i will give him another choice by, say, hitting the buttons ofhi-fi system, by saying, come to mammy, give mammy a **** with my hands widely open... he actually comes to me at most time and then get back to his 'work' again... :))

  8. #8
    Niterz is offline Registered User
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    A bit drastic but...

    This may be a bit drastic of a solution but it worked for me to discipline my daughter from about 10 months to 2 years. Mind you, I only used it in extreme situations but I think it is a good introduction to "time-out" when they are older.

    The solution for me at that age was "time-out" on my lap. I would sit my daughter on my lap, facing away towards me, wrap my arms and if necessary, legs around her legs so she couldn't move. There I would just hold her tight. She'd struggle and try to get away and would scream/cry with frustration but after a few times of this, she got the message. I would talk to her throughout BUT NOT IN AN ANGRY TONE, just use a calm, matter of fact voice to describe why mommy was doing this. Once they calm down, set them free and if they repeat the behavior, do it again. Again, I did this infrequently but use your best judgement.

    It doesn't hurt the child and it worked for me as an effective disciplinary tool at that age. Now my daughter's 3, time out in a corner on the stairs works for us but she rarely gives us an excuse for that.

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