[Keryn]

My 13 month old will not settle herself to sleep. I have tried leaving her to cry but she will go on screaming after the "magic 20 mins". She just wants to be cuddled till she drops off and then I can get her into the cots.

Anyone got any ideas? HELP!

[Avi]

my thoughts are that if the cuddling doesn't take a very long time before she dozes off, then why not cuddle. I think there's really no need to struggle with it too much. if you feel comfortable and you like the cuddling yourself..then enjoy those precious moments.

[mammalicious]

any suggestions on if cuddling doesn't work? my baby used to have her naps in the day and drift off on her own. now she refuses to sleep or be put down to play on her own. its tiring to carry her all day and also to not get any time on my own to eat or shower without her asking for attention

[Daizy]

mammalicious, my son was like that too for about 3 or 4 months "seperation anxiety" and now he gradually grew out of it. I was in the same exact situation where I couldn't take a shower, couldn't leave the room for even a second but once he started to walk he got a bit better.

I also cuddle my son to sleep, at night and afternoon nap. Sometimes as they grow older they stop napping so maybe your baby doesn't want to nap anymore.

[TanyaH]

Ladies - don't laugh but I couldn't even go to the loo without my boy virtually sitting on my feet!

I tend to agree with Avi, as I cuddle my little monster / darling to sleep at night until he's about 90% there and then sit next to him while he drifts off for the last 10%. I know what the books say but I figure - rightly or wrongly, that if his fear is that you are going to "abandon him" why prove him right! Even if it takes a 15-20 mins - so what. He is happy and will sleep through.

I did try the "controlled sleep thing" which worked, but he ended up having nightmares and woke in the middle of the night crying his heart out. Since I have gone back to just sitting next to him - the night mares have gone.

Don't let people pressure you into thinking your baby "should be doing X by now" we are all different. Babies just show it better as they haven't been conditioned to hide their emotions yet.

Good luck and just enjoy her.

T