[kellyst]

i've been having increasing problems with my control freakiness with the baby.

yesterday, my mom and my MIL took the baby out and got her some biscuits (at 7mths, just starting smooth solids). they thought they were teething biscuits, gave one to her and she loves it. they actually did ask me if it's ok to give it to her before hand, and i thought all teething biscuits should be ok, sugarless and all, so i said sure, okay. i came home, saw what they got was just normal biscuits (thought marked for 7mths+ kids), but made with wheat, sugar and all sorts of other stuff that i don't think was recommended for children this age, plus the fact that it breaks off (which i read could be a choking hazard). plus the fact that it's japanese biscuit from citysuper with loads of text that we couldn't read. i just started complaining that the biscuit is not a teething biscuit, it has sugar and wheat, just whining and whining and whining.

problem is, i'm doing all the reading and researching everywhere and i'm a super conservative mom. whereas her grandmothers wants to try all sorts of new things with her, not realizing the risks, as small as they are. i'm working full time so that's extra frustrating coz i'm always mad that i don't get to spend time with her and do something like 'getting teething biscuit' for her. but then i also ended up hating myself this morning for lashing out at the grandmothers. they're already very good at getting permission from me about things that they should feed her.

then there is also the problem with the extended family, sheeze, everyone sounded like i'm the one not letting her eat anything, all these things that people want to feed her just 'for fun', and i'm always the evil person who says 'no'. i'm so tired of being that person, when all i'm doing is ensuring that the baby is taking in things at the right pace. the good thing though is, that my baby doesn't eat anything that comes her way, she's a very picky eater, but things with sugar a kid must love right? but nurses and doc instructions is that she shouldn't be getting things like that yet.

am i too uptight about this? are things like biscuits, earmarked for babies ok once in a while? even though they contain sugar...

[fly]

While it means we're a little shorthanded at times and need to plan more trips back home for family time, I am also glad that my parents aren't in HK so I don't have these types of issues. Good luck and hang in there.

[shri]

Think about the junk that our parents fed us and their parents fed them. All turned out ok in the end...

So many of these responses are programmed into us by marketing folks who want us to pay a premium for the new product of the day.

[jools]

Hi,
I completely understand where you're coming from Kellyst. I have been fanatical about the food that both my children eat. The only time my daughter had baby food jars was when we were on holiday and I didn't have cooking facilities. I have to say they tasted awful and she spent most of the week on mashed up fruit. My son never ate commercially produced baby food.

I think I learned my healthy eating from my mother, who has the most healthy diet of anyone I know and we were never fed junk food as children. However, my in-laws were a different case and I was called 'mean' for not allowing our son to have chocolate. However, after he was given some chocolate cake at a party and my in-laws saw the results of the consequent sugar rush they also realised that my interest in healthy foods had some foundation.

As both my children are a little older we now let them have so called 'junk' food occasionally, so that they don't crave it later on because they were deprived it as a child, however, this is limited to maintain their health.

This is your child and you have a right to feed them whatever you think is right. I know grand parents want to help, however, it might be worth sitting them down and explaining your reasoning behind why you feel the way you do. Show them the research that you have done. You may get the response that it was alright for you when you were a child and you turned out alright; which is the response I got. In reply to this I said that 40 years ago people thought smoking was OK, however research now shows that it's dangerous. Just because something was seen to be OK then, doesn't mean that now, with greater information, we can't know better.

I hope that helps. You stick to what you think is best for your child; other people can do what they think is best for their children, not yours.

Jools