To Full Time Working Mums - need advice pls!!
- 06-24-2006, 01:26 AM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2004
- hong kong
There is no substitute for a mother. Not a even grandmother or auntie, let alone a helper.
I went part time in Feb 2006, when my son was 2.5 yo.
I used to spend "quality" time with him. I was forever tired. I used to work 10 to 12 hr days. He definitely knew I was mom and helper (who absolutely loved him and took v good care of him) was helper.
But ... he needs a mother. Proper parenting. Bonding with mother. Learn by example.
He has developed so much, socially, healthwise, language, logic etc in the last 5 months even the caretaker commented on it. The teacher was absolutely amazed.
A child needs someone there to answer his questions, his curiosity, to teach him values (not just reading books) and appropriate discipline.
Quality time is not good enough for a young child. You need to be there when it happens to tell him your views, your values, you cannot do it afterwards after the helper reported the day's happenings.
If I have to do it all over again, I would have gone part time when my son was 6 mths old.
- 06-30-2006, 12:17 PM #18Baby Guru
- Join Date
- Mar 2003
- New Territories
re: "Mama" - speak to your helper and ask your helper to teach your daughter to call her "Auntie" or "Yiyi" or JieJie, or something like that.
re: worrying about baby coming to love the helper.
This is normal -that you worry about it and that the baby loves the helper. It would be far more worrisome if she did not love the helper. It shows she's in good hands while you're away.
Love is not a zero-sum game. It's not as though your baby has only X amount of love and if she gives 1/2 of X to your helper, you and your husband have to divide the left-over love between you. :)
My kids loved our first helper and that was great. They also loved me and my husband and their grannies, etc.
Instead or worrying, try to focus on having the best time you can w/ your baby and doing what you can with her. Then she knows that her Mama is an important part of her life and that her parents will always be there for her.
I went back to work when both my kids were 10 weeks old and work full-time and we are very close and loving and they know who is mama :)
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