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helper's holidays

  1. #9
    Baby bun is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Cyberport-Bel-Air
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    17
    I think you are toooo nice to the helper. Im not surprised with your story. My first helper theft my money,cosmetics even wet tissue. My second one went back to her home country for new year and had the same story with your helper. So from my previous experienced, dont be tooo nice to them. Give them what they deserves as a helper and obey the immigration law. Just in case if one day they might be sue us.Because we dont know this kind of person...what will she do later.

  2. #10
    bekyboo44 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Discovery Bay, Hong Kong
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    737
    That's awful what your helper did, and even more so because you obviously respected her and the job she did for you.
    But that doesn't mean that there aren't helpers out there who can't be trusted- it is too easy to lump all helpers together and to say that because some can not be trusted, then no helper can be trusted.
    I think what you did for your helper was extremely nice, and it is a shame you were taken advantage of this time- but I don't think that should stop anyone from being 'too nice' to their helper.
    My parents had have the same helper for thirteen years and have found that the more she was treated and accepted as one of the family, and the more she was appreciated the better it was for everyone.

  3. #11
    odm_post is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2006
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    Hong Kong
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    68
    Hi all....

    Back in HK now. We survived the 11-hours-flight with 3 kids :cheerlead It's not as bad as I thought it would've been. The children really behaved....

    Yeahhh....I still can't believe she did this to us!
    After we got home, I checked her room..... NOTHING left! Only a few old clothes and some toiletries in her bathroom. She'd removed all the pictures she hung on the wall. That confirmed my suspicion that she had planned this all along.
    You think you know someone after 3 years? Sigh....

    I knew something was not quite right. She's always gloomy and quiet when we're in Europe. Probably she's just counting the days she'd actually leave. She called to tell me she missed the flight only to make me angry so that she'd have an EXCUSE to "run away".

    Now I have to write the termination letter to the ID. Which date should I use as her last working day? 16 (when she called to say she missed the flight) or 17 (when she didn't show up) or 20 (when she called again to say she decided to return home) or 26 (the day I actually type out the letter)?
    Sorry.... I'm so confused at the moment.

  4. #12
    csy
    csy is offline Registered User
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    May 2005
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    hong kong
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    33
    Hi odm post,

    I feel so bad for you as your helper did not appreciate for what you've done, instead she lied to you!
    Just curious, what number did u call her when you said she had returned to her home country? I am just thinking she might be still in Europe looking for a "fake" husband??
    I also fired my son's nanny in April whom she has been with us when my son was 3 weeks old. At first she was very good to us and my son likes him very much. But when time went by, I guess that she got some personal and love life problems and I suspected that she was hiting my son when my son was not listening. I fired her immediately with no questions asked.
    Well, I hope that you will find a better one very soon.

    Good luck!

  5. #13
    odm_post is offline Registered User
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    Jan 2006
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    Hong Kong
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    68
    No csy, we didn't call her. She's the one who called us, claiming to be back in her country already. But who knows..... It's a lot CLOSER to fly from HK if she really wanted to go back, rather then fly home from Europe, isn't it?

    Since we came back a few days ago, there's so many things to take care of: report her case to the ID and her Consulate, looking for a new helper, getting the children ready for school, etc, etc.... sigh.....

  6. #14
    undecided is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    HK
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    33

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by odm_post
    No csy, we didn't call her. She's the one who called us, claiming to be back in her country already. But who knows..... It's a lot CLOSER to fly from HK if she really wanted to go back, rather then fly home from Europe, isn't it?

    Since we came back a few days ago, there's so many things to take care of: report her case to the ID and her Consulate, looking for a new helper, getting the children ready for school, etc, etc.... sigh.....
    Dear ODM,

    I'm sorry for what happened to you. It's really awful. In the end, you tried to be kind, but ended up helping another illegal immigrant to enter Europe. If I were you, I would make sure with consulate and police wherever you were in Europe knew that she disappeared on you. Some countries (such as Switzerland) estipulate high fines for this and she obviously has all your addresses and contacts and could always invent another story if caught by the police. If she actually has a sister in Europe, that probably won't happen... she's probably well connected by now.

    I see all the threads of people saying you should not be nice, or should be nice to helpers, etc. I am a human rights defender and am also used to having helpers in Brazil, and think the best way is to act as professionally as possible. After all, it is an employment contract like any other.

    If you treat people with respect, and draw the line of what is admissable, and what is not (in writing - even better) it is easier to look back and see whose fault it was. As you're know now... it's not nice when you're taken to court or messed up with police reports for trusting someone too much!

    But don't feel too disappointed, you offered her what was probably the chance of her life of getting to a country with more opportunities and better pay.

    Good luck with finding a new helper!

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