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helper's holidays

  1. #1
    odm_post is offline Registered User
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    helper's holidays

    Just want to know what others think/will do in our situation....

    Our helper has been working with us for 3 years. We always take her with us when we go on long holidays (twice a year) as we have 3 small children.

    Now again, we're going away for summer holiday taking her along. But this time while we're in Europe, we'll send her to see her sister in another country (also in Europe) for about 1 week. We pay for all her plane tickets.

    Now, my question is: are we being too nice to her?
    Not that I don't want to... she's been a great helper so far.
    It's just that whenever I tell my friends/other people about our plan (re. her trip), they think we're being to nice to her and that we're spoiling her. According to them: she already gets to see the world "free" while working with us and now she even gets a "free" holiday. So now I'm starting to doubt if we make the right decision to send her to see her sister.

    And it gets me thinking:
    Would it be ok and legal if I consider those days as her day-offs that'll be "paid back" on other days when we're back in HK. Sometimes we do need her to stay on Sundays or PHs (as my husband travels a lot). Usually we'll exchange that Sunday with another day during the week.

    Any comments/suggestions on this?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    do what you think is right...

    how would you feel if you are told by your employer one thing, then a few weeks before they say...."well you know, everyone i talk to says i'm crazy for doing this for you, so we've decided to revoke what we already promised you..."

    i'm guessing you wouldn't be too happy with it...

    if she is a great helper, and you were happy to do this for her, and you can afford it, why not?

    if i was her, i would love to know that i am so appreciated
    it would make me want to please you even more!

  3. #3
    Rohini's Avatar
    Rohini is offline Registered User
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    Helpers are as good to you as you are to them. Not doubt, one never knows when they become greedy but chances are she is and will be a good person.

    I don't think there is anything wrong with letting your helper go on a mini vacation to see her sister...you are the judge...is she abusing your goodness to her? Probably not. Now, whether it's ok to tell her that her week off to her sisters is considered her 7 days paid leave, I think that's between you and her. As long as she's ok with it, but I would just get it in writing...you never know when they turn on you.

    My mom has a helper that has been working with her for over 20 years. Her two children were born in our house and treated like our own. We take the children on holidays with us, we buy them anything they want...My parents treat them like their own children. The mother has never abused the power.

    You should be good to your helper, after all, life here is difficult withouth them and they are very hard working for the measley salary they earn...just know when to tdraw the line when they are ungrateful for your generosity.

  4. #4
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    I think you're the only person who knows whether she's worth the holiday. No one else is in your shoe & if you think she deserves it, she sure does. I believe that people treat you nice when you treat them nice.

  5. #5
    odm_post is offline Registered User
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    Hi....

    Thanks for your replies. I feel a lot better now after reading all you comments.
    You're right! I'm the one who knows if she deserves all this or not.... I know that she really apprecites this.

    Actually by the time I wrote the first post, we already bought her plane + train tickets, so turning back anyway.... I just want to know if it's something right/common to do or are just being too nice....

    Thanks!

  6. #6
    odm_post is offline Registered User
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    Just want to let you know....

    She disappeared on us

    She's supposed to return on the 16th, she called to say she missed the flight. How could she miss a 1.30PM flight? On the 17th she never showed up, nor a single call from her. We tried to call her sister's no, it's always a voicemail.

    Then 4 days later she called us and said she'd gone back to her home country because she didn't want to work with us anymore. I can't believe she did this to us!!!!..... after all we've done for her. She just left us just like that!

    We reported her as "missing" but the police here can't do much 'cause she entered the country legally and still within her visa period (of 6 months). The only thing we can do here is simply to send the NORMAL termination letter to Immigration Dept in HK. Seems sooo... powerless! Is there anything else we should or could do in this case?

    Help! and thanks....

  7. #7
    carang's Avatar
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    OMG! i'm feel so badly for you!
    to be taken advantage of like that is terrible!

  8. #8
    kellyst is offline Registered User
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    OMG! you wouldn't think that a person working with you for the few years would do that to you! that is so horrible! especially as you've been extra nice to her.
    i feel bad for you...
    i would think that is termination on her part of the contract without notice? but since she's not in Hong Kong, i don't think there's much you can do... maybe, is there anyway to make sure that record stays with immigration?

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