[rach]

I was planning on getting a helper about 4 to 6 months after my first baby is born. I thought it would be good to get used to things on my own and just continue my part time cleaner in the week. however I think that if I ever want to leave the house on my own or look for a job I will eventually want a helper and I figure that might be 4 to 6 months away. However we have been offered a helper who comes highly recommended and she is exactly what we would look for in six months. Is it really hard to find a good helper and for those of you with experience with babies do you think better to get before (I'm due early december) or a few months after (I do get cleaning done twice a week anyway). I was kind of hoping to enjoy a the next few months on my own and first few months just me baby and husband but is that a bit naive?

[Tisha]

If she comes highly recommended, grab her! It will be worthwhile training her now to do the household work so that when the baby arrives, she would have already grasp what her duties are (where to find things and would have worked out a routine for herself). And when you are ready to head back to work by the 4th month of your baby's life, your helper would be already confident to look after the baby on her own.

Personally I have never had a domestic helper before so I do not really know what the "implications" are having a stranger living with you all the time. But trust me whatever help you can get, whether from a relative or friend, you should not be shy and just accept it.

[loupou]

I hired our first helper about 6 weeks before our first baby was born. That way we had time to get used to each other before I had the baby.
I went back to work when our baby was 4 weeks old.

[carang]

i oringinally arranged for our helper to start 4 weeks before my baby was due. however, i was hospitalised while she was still in PH and ended up staying there until the baby was born 3 weeks early.

if i had it to do over again, i'd have her start MUCH earlier. the way it ended up, i was not around to show her how i wanted things done. then when i did get home, i was so exhausted, that i still couldn't show her. in the end i decided showing her how to do things 3 months after she started wasn't such a good idea.

i would want her to start early so i could make sure that everything was done the way i like it. it would also mean that she can watch how you are with the baby and do the same things that you do. you would also more likely feel more comfortable leaving her alone with the baby when you go out, if she'd been with you from the start.

[shalom]

personally i think it's better to have the helper before the baby is born, especially if you have found one that comes highly recommended. good helpers are hard to come by and they are grabbed very fast. having a new born is very very stressful, and having a new helper is as well. you wouldn't want to cope with a new baby and a new helper at the same time. furthermore, if you get the helper early and just in case ( hopefully not ), she is not what she seems to be, you still have time to find a new one. just my two cents worth.

[pinemarten]

Hi Rach

I'm in the same situation - currently have part-time cleaner and wanting to take on helper when the baby arrives. I have been given the same advice as above - get someone in early so you'll have enough energy and time to show her the ropes. It will also be good to know in advance if things aren't going to work out with you and the cleaner.

My baby is not due til late march, but I've just found out a highly recommended helper will become available at the start of next year. MUCH earlier than I would have originally wanted one, but I am considering "snapping her up" anyhow. Would be interested to hear your experience, whichever way you decide.

[rani]

We hired our helper 2 months before D arrived. I taught her to cook a bit and her cleaning was ok. But I didn't give her a schedule which I regret. There wasn't much work initially with just the 2 of us and she would wake up late around 8am and I just let her be. I thought things would change once baby arrived but they didn't. My advice would be get her on a baby schedule before baby arrives.

For example baby wakes up at 6:30-7am for a feed. Make sure your helper is ready to take baby from you once you've finished breastfeeding/bottlefeeding. After a rough night I needed an extra hour of sleep in the morning.

HTH.

Rani

[joannek]

rach, they are all very right. i agree that you should grab her now, and teach her how you want things done. when you want your time alone with your baby, at least you've got someone to cook for you or grab a glass of water when you're nursing your baby. i assume this is your first, trust me, you'd have forgotten to get a glass of water when u're nursing your baby, cos he/she is crying, you're struggling with putting her on the breast, it'd be nice if someone can give you a stool for your feet, a glass of water, turn down the air-con, etc. (i know, your husband can do all that, but he'll be at work sometimes) also my advice is go buy one of theose remote control door bells. put the button in your room, or where you'll be nursing, and put the bell in the kitchen. so she's at your disposal at a push of a button, you don't have to run out or shout to get her.