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should i let her cry it out?

  1. #9
    lii
    lii is offline Registered User
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    Go with what you feel is right

    Joanne,

    My baby has had problems sleeping as well. Same that she needs to be rocked with a pacifier to sleep and if the pacifier falls out, she wails looking for it. I have since read 3 sleeping books:

    The No Cry Sleep Solution - Elizabeth Pantley
    Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - Dr. Marc Weissbluth
    The Baby Sleep Book - Dr. Sears (Family of Sears)

    All methods of sleep training are different and I have tried the cry-it-out for a few days with success only to elapse back into her usual pattern. In the end, CIO didn't feel right to me or my husband and so we've made some improvements in that she co-sleeps now (from sleeping independently in her crib) and wakes up less frequently at night (along with a few other experiments with music, singing, fathering down, nursing to sleep, etc..)

    I know there are many variations of getting children to sleep by themselves and you will find parents believing, trying and endorsing many of them, but in the end, it's deep down what feels RIGHT to you as a parent. CIO didn't and never clicked with my husband and I and although it was giving results (cried for 2 minutes at our best attempt and only at night - not naps), in the very end, we both opted out to try other solutions.

    I won't promote any solution, but if it doesn't feel right to you, then why continue with it? This is what our motherly instincts are for. Explore multiple options and one-day you will find a comprising solution to all parties.

    All the best & g'luck,
    Lisa

  2. #10
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    Thanks, Lisa, that was very re-assuring knowing that i have been doing the right thing & trusting my instincts. after reading what barb has to say, (& thanks again for taking the time to write, barb) i think i'll let rest the CIO solution. as at last time i wrote, little girl's been sleeping better (i don't know what happened, i just kept telling her that she cannot be so selfish as to always call out at night). she's only waken up once for milk & once to pat (instead of 4 times before) for the past 2 nights. meanwhile, i'll see whether health has anything to do with it. i'm bringing her to see a new homeopath, and i'll see whether he can do sth about it. she's been scratching her skin a lot, so maybe that's why she kept waking up.....

    barb, i'm less worried about my health than hers. i have been turning in at 8-9pm about twice a week. it's more her health i'm concerned. i thought if she keeps waking up at night & she wakes up naturally at around the same time despite how long she's slept (i never wake her, we've always let her wake up naturally, be it her nap or morning), she's obviously started a dark circle around her eye since she's been waking up so many times at night.

    i still would like more parent to share with me their experience with their child's sleeping problems. so that i know mine isn't the only one who still wakes up for milk (at 21mths & she eats well during the day!!), plus another several times a night.

  3. #11
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    one more thing, i tried to co-sleep with her, but she doesn't like it, she prefers to sleep in her cot. (how weird is that?)

  4. #12
    cemily is offline Registered User
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    Joanne,

    I used to have a similar problem with my son, now 3 yrs 3 mths old.

    He was ill every 6 weeks and worsen to more frequent "colds". He also seemed OK except having a runny nose. He used to wake up, before 1 yo, 7 to 8 times a night but NOT for feeds. Before 2.5 yo, he woke up 2 to 3 times, always at 12 midnight (like an alarm) and then somewhere between 2am to 4am.

    Even as a baby, he seldom slept for 10 hrs TOTAL the whole day.

    I found out the hard way that he was allergic to milk. That's why he was having "colds". It was actually his reaction to milk allergy. Because he was allergic to it, he was not digesting his milk properly and he woke up at night time. As he grew older, he had more solids and less milk, he woke up less frequent but still woke up at night.

    We cut off all cow's milk and then started on a special diet recommended by the nutritionist to start healing his guts. Within 2 months, he slept for 8 hours and now, 7 months into his special diet and NO milk, he v v often sleeps for 10 hrs at night + 1 to 2 hrs afo naps.

    You may wish to get his blood tested for any food allergies.

    Rgds

    e

  5. #13
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    my son is 21.5 months. he wakes up usually 1-2 times per night. he will drink an entire 9 oz bottle of milk throughout the night even though he eats relatively well and has another 9oz bottle before bed.

    our problem is that he's been in a proper bed since he was 13 months old. he can get out of bed easily on his own and doesn't like sleeping on his own at night. he's fine during hte day. we've tried nightlights, a special toy, putting the milk nearby, going in and patting him to sleep... the only two things that work: we get into bed with him or bring him into bed with us.

    i have a feeling that it's gotten worse in the past few months as our house has been a little crazy. had friends come for a week, so he slept in our room, then i went into hospital for 4 nights, then came home and two days later a single mum and her newborn babies came to stay for about a week, then they moved to a friend of mine's house, then two days later i was back in hospital for 5 days, then home for two, then back for 3 days.. the poor kid has no idea what the heck is going on or if i'll be here when he wakes up. i figure that eventually he'll just sleep throuhg on his own. once he feels more secure. i don't know many teenagers that still sleep with parents, so i know there must be an end in sight.

    joannek, you're not alone!

  6. #14
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    cemily,
    one of the homeopaths that she's seen has already suggested that she might be allergic to cow's milk. so we switched her to organic goat's formula since july. we were in canada then, and she hasn't been sick for the 3 mths that we were away. once we got back to hk in sept, she started getting sick again late sept, then now. now her new homeopath suggests that i cut her goat's milk. i tried but she was crying (like really crying & not tantrum cry) when i mixed her bedtime feed with 1/2 soy (she's fine with soy milk if it's breakfast or at other meals). so what did your son drink when you didn't give her milk?

    carang, same here. she was sleeping where and then they took off the aircon cos of the external wall replacement work they're doing on the whole bldg. that's when she woke up 7 times a night. but luckily after a month of that, we've finally managed to find the most comfortable way for her to sleep (2 fans to make sure there's enuf ventilation, a very strong air-purifier to screen the dust, 0.5 tog, long sleeve instead of short sleeve).

    the good news is, last night she only woke up once for milk at midnight last night & slept thru 6.30am!!! i am so happy this morning.

  7. #15
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    you're lucky! my boy woke up at 10:30pm and wouldn't go back to sleep. finally at around 1:15 am, he fell asleep then woke up at 6;30am! god, i'm tired today!

  8. #16
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    o.. i totally feel for u.... sounds like our children are at the same age & both spirited!!

    when was your son born? early feb? my daughter was born feb 7.

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