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should i let her cry it out?

  1. #17
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    feb 12... he was 3 weeks early...he was due on march 4...
    next one is due march 3, but going to try to schedule a c-section on feb 13....

    should never forget a birthday...

    i'm trying to toilet train him now...he's doing really well with the wee...but he's scared to poo in the potty...everytime he wees though, he lets out a squeal for joy and yells "yeah!" with his hands up in the air...
    any idea how i can get him to poo in the potty?

  2. #18
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    i am also in the midst of TT-ing her. sometimes she'd poo, but only wees when we've managed a good timing (say dry diaper for 1 or 2 hrs).

    i started off really early (as in first 3 months) whenever she poos, she'd have to go on "poo poo position". we held her legs separate as in she is sitting between our knees (adult regular sit position with open thighs). we waited til she's done, and ask "finish?". she obviously didn't respond then. then when she could sit on her own, when we see that she's pooing, we let her sit on the potty on the floor. then when she was older (maybe after one year), we let her sit on the adapter on the toilet. then she knows she needs to sit somewhere to poo. she doesn't resent the potty now, but sometime when we notice that she's pooing, if we ask her if she's poo-pooing, she'd said "no". probably cos she doesn't want to be disturbed. but sometimes, if we can catch her before she poos, she'd say yes to "you wanna sit on the potty?" or sometimes, if she wants to, she'll point at her bum & say "poo poo".

    so i think it's getting him used to sitting on the potty when he's pooing (diaper & all). i think at this age sometimes they don't want to be bothered when they're poo-ing. i think the important thing to let them know that they should poo in the potty. whether they can really matters less. it's the concept.

  3. #19
    JennyB is offline Registered User
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    You'll like the Elizabeth Pantley book an earlier poster recommended. It will provide you some more reassurance that your baby is not abnormal, as well as some practical suggestions for gradual change.

    From my own experience, I found the older my daughter got, the more she understood. She has gone through phases of sleeping well and waking lots since about 16mo (now 3yo). During wakeful phases I talked to her a lot about how nighttime is for sleeping, there was no milk until morning, etc, and she gradually understood more. We had a book about Mr Lazy who was always falling asleep so I told her to do what Mr Lazy does (yawns, yawns again, then falls asleep), or suck her comfort object - other similar strategies might work for you. If she doesn't like co-sleeping, how about a mattress on the floor next to your bed?

    We had at least a year of her mostly sleeping through the night, but now at 3yo she is starting to have some fear of the dark and imaginary scary things, so sometimes waking again - parenthood always throws up new challenges! But it's swings and roundabouts: at least she is starting to have some consideration for others such as Mummy needing sleep at night, and noticing what a grumpy cow Mummy is when she doesn't get enough sleep...

  4. #20
    Sumei is offline Registered User
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    hi there,

    just my thoughts on the whole controlled crying method - I was VERY anti-any sort of crying method to sleep train my now 22month old son. He was breastfed exclusively from birth till he was 12 months old and that didn't help matters as I was just nurse him until he fell asleep and for day naps he was bounced to sleep. He had no problems sleeping through the night but would constantly wail out (about 3-5 times a night) and require a soothing rub or pat before going back to sleep - the whole putting down to sleep process was becoming exhausting for all in the family. I tried all sorts of methods including sessions with a sleep therapist from Annerley and books like Elizabeth Pantley and they DIDNT work, he was even more distressed and I was even more exhausted and fustrated (and had completely wreaked an already weak back). Finally from sheer desperation, at about 17 months old I tried the controlled crying method - the first 2 days were hell BUT by the 4th sleep (ie day 2) he went into his cot without protest and by Day 4, he would say after his milk, "cottie now!".....since then he has slept better through the night (no calling out at all) and much happier and more settled in his personal space (he sleeps in his own room by himself) and we are of course better rested and able to function better as parents. While I don't go round telling everyone they should do the controlled crying method, one shouldn't feel guilty and a bad parent if you have exhausted all other options and have to resort to this one. Your bond with your child is NOT going to be affect NOR will he need therapy years later becos his mother let him cry it out!!!! Alot of mothers are wracked with guilt and suffer prolonged sleep deprivation and exhaustion for something they shouldn't...I recall thinking at that time why I didn't do it earlier!!!!!! While gentler methods might work for some parents and some kids, it doesn't work for everyone......

  5. #21
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    it actually is very re-assuring that a lot of you have problems with your child sleeping & reassuring to know that most sleep better after 3 yr old.

    surprisingly, my child has been sleeping better for the past few nights. only woken once for milk (keeping my fingers crossed). the only thing that i did differently was change the body lotion & add japanese camelia oil on top. maybe that helps her dry itchy skin.....

  6. #22
    Nula is offline Registered User
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    joannek,

    Does your daughter snore? She sounds like my son who was a terrible sleeper and would vomit if he went into full tilt crying (or even lots of laughing). Someone suggested to me that it might be his adenoids. I went to an ENT (he was about 3 years old)and discovered that he couldn't breathe through his nose as his adenoids where huge and he had sleep anapnea (sp?).

    He would be sick about every 6 weeks because of the lack of sleep. He would alternate between a few reasonable nights of only waking once or twice and then revert to every couple of hours for a while. When the adenoids were removed he slept that night for the first time ever for 12 hours straight and has continued to do so ever since (in fact, the house could fall down and he wouldn't wake). The vomiting stopped as well.

  7. #23
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    thanks for the info, nula. sounds very much like my daughter. and if she's sleeping very deeply, sometimes she snores slightly.

    is sleep anapnea meaning breathing would stop for a while when sleeping and suddenly have to take a deep breath to catch up on oxygen?

  8. #24
    Nula is offline Registered User
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    Yes something like that it, they don't get good long deep restorative sleep. They tend to wake up often because they don't get into deep sleep or when they manage it is interrupted by having to get a good breath of oxygen.

    My son was restless in his sleep he would sometimes jerk awake (like when you have the falling sensation). I was told that the only reasons children should snore (other than a cold) was due to being over weight or a blockage. Might be worthwhile monitoring it for a night or two to get a good idea of how she sleeps, how bad is her snoring etc in what you would consider her deep sleep.

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