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TTC, depressed, feel like giving up

  1. #9
    Cici is offline Registered User
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    Bozo
    I'm sorry that its been such a trail for you- but the most impt thing is NEVER give up and try to be proactive. First of all has hubbie had a sperm analysis - even if its ok, buy some zinc tablets and get him to take one a day.
    In your case, even though you know when you're ovulating, ever considered going to the gyne to check that the egg is of opitmal size?All it takes is a transvaginal U/S 1-2 days before ovulation. If the eggs the right size, maybe your doc can give you a trigger shot so that you and hubbie can make sure you're together on time.
    Also if that month doesn't turn out right and AF comes, remember to chart down the day you ovulated and the day that AF came and thats your Luteal phase. It should be more than 11 days at least for implantation to happen. If its short- talk to your gyne about having progesterone shots or alternatively start taking Vit B6 at least 50mg -100mg from the first day of your period, you'll see an improvement after 2 months.

    Another thing is that sometimes the egg and the spermie is fine, but the CM is too thick or acidic, in which case you can try pre-seed (need to get it from abroad), or increase your CM flow by taking Robitussin cough medicine (ONLY get the brand that states clearly Guanifesin??) on the front, NOT the one that has antihistamine cos that dries up your CM even more- its available in Watsons (ask the pharmacist if in doubt). I also use to take Evening primrose oil capsules from the first day of AF then stopped once ovulation occurs(don't take anything after ovulation apart from the Vit B6 and folic acid).

    After 3 months of no show- I decided to all the above and after 2 months I'm now pregnant with my fourth, so take heart- your turn will definatley come.

    On a seperate note, remember not to drink or eat Soy products and tofu and also don't drink or eat cold foods as its bad for the uterus.

    And also, if you can afford it- go to Troy sing for his herbs and acupuncture, as I know he definately helped me alot.
    Sorry this is so long-winded....

  2. #10
    Cici is offline Registered User
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    by the way-I'm 37 this year

  3. #11
    mamaS is offline Registered User
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    Hi bozo,

    You're depressed with only less than a year of trying? there's still a long way to go, what have you done to help you conceived? western medicine, check-ups, monitoring.....how about husband's sperm? If all is okay, then there's no problem, it could only be timing (and luck). Then, do something like OPK, BBT, etc. I won't tell you not to be stress or pressure BECAUSE it's impossible, people who says relax relax doesn't go thru that TTC (trying to conceive) path. They don't know how it feels like. I was TTC for 8 years, heartache and tears month after month, year after year, but during those times, i never give up, if western medicine fails, i continue to do other things that can help me conceive. I've done ALL things to help me conceive, crazy things, western, homeopathy, acupuncture, natural medicine, etc. Finally i got preggy on the 8th year. By the way, i was 36 when i conceived. Don't give up, if you think you'll have it, you WILL. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.

  4. #12
    Bozo is offline Registered User
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    Cici - wow! sounds like you know your stuff. As for the zinc, is a multi-vitamin with zinc enough, or do you recommend a zinc capsule? I bought some zinc capsules but couldn't get hubby to take them every day. He reckons a multi-vitamin is enough. I have to admit, I've been having a tough time getting him to alter his behaviour (no hot baths, no drinking etc). There's no point me going on at him - he's just gonna have to realise sooner or later that lifestyle changes have to come from both sides.

    MamaS - ok, I know 10 months isn't THAT long and certainly doesn't compare in any way to 8 years, but rightly or wrongly, on a purely emotional level the 12 month mark feels significant. This is the time when officially the docs will use the word 'infertility' and (in the UK at least) 12 months is when investigations into both partners start. Of course my head tells me that 12 months is really quite an arbitrary marker, but I can't help taking notice of it. So at the moment, as I'm getting closer and closer to the 12 month mark I guess I'm just having to come to terms with the idea that there may well be a problem and things might not be easy. I know I was naive to think I would get pregnant straight away, but I guess that's just what I thought and it's these past couple of months I've realised I have to reassess things.

    Being able to finally get all this off my chest and feeling genuinely supported by your replies really has helped me so thanks a lot. It's not something I've been able to discuss with friends and family as I don't want them to feel that they have to hide their joy and experiences of pregnancy and family life from me because they'd be worried it would make me feel bad.

  5. #13
    katyw is offline Registered User
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    Hang in there Bozo!!! I've been through something very simlular so I know what an emotional battle it can be. At the age of 30 we TTC for 16 months before finally getting some help. Unfortunately it's just one of those things for some people, or as my Dr put it just *bad luck*. After having some extensive tests it turned out there was absolutey nothing wrong with either me or my husband but we still went onto fail 3 IUI cycles. On the 4th one we conceived and had our first little boy and then by accident we concieved our 2nd completely naturally.

    Be strong!!!!

  6. #14
    Cici is offline Registered User
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    Bozo
    Understand your fustration. We were sooo lucky with our 3 kids, came off the pill and *wham* pregnant by 1 month. As I said, for this baby becasue it took us over 5 months to get preggers I was kinda impatient (even though I knew thats a really short time to wait, but my mind couldn't accept the fact that if everything was normal, why does it take so long???-irrational I know.)
    Ooops, need to go, the nurse is calling for me (taking the kids to the dentist today- thats why I have time to post!!!)

  7. #15
    capital is offline Banned
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    I remember feeling that way.It took us 9 cycles with our first. I was so obssessed. Getting pregnant was the only thing I thought about before we even started. I finally gave up all hope of getting pregnant without medical help, and I had to find something to occupy my mind other than babies and pregnancy, so I started redecorating our house, and that month I got pregnant. I alos got myself an appointment with a fertility clinic as in canada there is a 6 month wait list to get in, but in the end I didn't need to go. If you are still not pregnant after 12 months of trying, then go to a fertility specialist. The book taking change of your fertility is very very good. In retrospect I think I was timing intercourse wrong, I should have been going by the cervical fluid sign and I would have gotten pregnant sooner, as with the second I got pregnat the first cycle.

  8. #16
    fakaysum is offline Registered User
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    Everybody suggests to relax but that is easier said than done. There is quite a bit of pressure to perform and wait for the monthly results.

    After 10 months, consult with a reproductive specialist to do some basic check-ups on both sides (just get that out of the way so you can be assured). It usually takes time to get an appointment and run tests. At the very least, they can time things accurately for you. No one wants to but it's your future so it's worthwhile. Good luck.

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