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TTC, depressed, feel like giving up

  1. #17
    JANE892 is offline Registered User
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    Hi there...I just wanted to add that you once you've had some basic blood work done ie. they test your progesterone on Day Past ovulation 7 (approx) to ensure your body produces enough progesterone on its own..then they may do an HyCoSy or Dye test (HSG I think they call it in other parts of the world). For this they insert some liquid (just saline solution) or sometimes dye into the uterus and watch it come out of each tube. This ensures that both yoru tubes are open....or tells you if there are some problems in this area...they say feritlity increases for the next 3 months after this as your tubes are really open and even any little blockages are gone...
    I had some basic feritility tests done before I came to HK (even though we hadn't even started trying!) I just wanted peace of mind before coming here as I had no idea what the level of care/expertise would be like here. So far everything has been fine. I managed to get preganant very quickly but unfortuately had a miscarriage...but I"m hoping to get pregnant again soon and hopefully it will work out next time. Basically what I'm saying is...after 10 months of TTC without it happening- I'd be going to a good understanding doctor and asking for some basic fertility tests. Mostly likely there will be nothing at all wrong but it will make you feel like your doing something proactive on this journey and help to ease your mind that "something is wrong".
    Hope this kind of helps :)

  2. #18
    Bozo is offline Registered User
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    Thanks for the reply. I've had the blood tests done - everything came back normal. Hubby has done the semen test and the count came back low (just under 13 mil) so he's waiting a few weeks until doing another test. I know this might sound weird but I now feel like some of the pressure has lifted from me, and the low count on the first semen test seems to have helped our relationship enormously. It's dawned on both of us that it's not just down to me and that he also has to take responsibility for his own health.

  3. #19
    mamaS is offline Registered User
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    hi bozo,

    good that all your test are normal. Good news is - the easiest to "cure" is low sperm count, my husband used to have 6 mil only, half of it were even slow swimmers. Take vitamin, wear boxer shorts, no hot shower, no caffeine, etc. When i got preggy, it was just border line. We need one good sperm only. :alien: Good luck!

  4. #20
    Koan is offline Registered User
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    I know exactly how you feel, I'm now in my 10th month of TTC and feeling pretty depressed and impatient. I get really annoyed when people tell me to relax and it will happen, it's just impossible when pregnancy is practically all I think about! I assumed it would all be so easy, isn't that what they told us in high school?!

    I start clomid next cycle (luteal phase is between 7-9 days) so I hope that helps me.

    I honestly don't know how people can go through this for years. I feel absolutely terrible each month when AF arrives...

    Good luck bozo

  5. #21
    ka__ying is offline Registered User
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    I absolutely know how you feel. This is my 15th month of TTC, and hubby resists to have any tests done. I had mine done and everything is normal. I've started to take some folic acid and still keeping my fingers crossed. My cycles are very irregular, like 25 days for one cycle, then the next becomes 45 days! Anyway, have faith. Hope we'll share good news here soon!

  6. #22
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
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    I can't imagine what it is like to be ttc but i will say it's a shame that more men don't seem to realise that they are just as likely the cause of infertility as their partners are. It's awful to hear stories of women feeling guilty for not falling pregnant and it makes it all the worse if the suffering turned out to be for nothing. ka_ying your husband should have the tests done. It's not fair on you to go through so much yourself when you might not be the 'problem' so to speak.
    Bozo, I'm glad your husband did the test and I can understand why you feel some relief. I don't think you need to feel guilty for it. Although no one is to blame when couples struggle to have children it always seems like the woman suffers the most and is assumed to have the problems. I know a few couples who are TTC and thankfully the men are all as committed as their partners. They eat well, exercise, some who were smokers stopped. It's a team effort as it should be. Good luck guys.

  7. #23
    Bozo is offline Registered User
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    Thanks for your words of support! Just to give you an update on my situation (in case it helps anyone else), hubby has been told he's got varicoceles so the little fellas are getting too hot. Surgery is a possibility but it seems to be controversial and there's no guarantee of success in improving sperm count, motility and pregnancy rates. I went to see a fertility specialist who said that given my age and that the count isn't extremely low we stand a good chance with IUI (about 20% chance in each cycle which isn't that much less than natural conception for couples without problems). We're going to try that in a couple of months.... after a holiday! we'll give that a go for 6 tries, then hubby will try surgery... and then we'll go on to IVF if all else fails.

    I honestly think it was the waiting around, the uncertainty of what was happening etc that was driving me mad when I first started this thread. Now we know there's a problem, I'm not expecting anything to happen without intervention so I don't get stressed about it.

    Having a plan of action makes me feel a lot more positive, although it did take me a while to come to terms with the fact that we are unlikely to be able to conceive naturally. We're both working out, eating healthily and I'm doing acupuncture to boost my chances. I'm just hoping the meds aren't going to mess me up too much (natural cycle IUI hasn't been offered to us.... I think because of the sperm count and motility).

    Ka_Ying - Aussiegal has a very good point about your husband. it must be very frustrating and depressing to have this disappointment every month with no answers or any feeling of progression towards your goal. I think a lot of men are actually a bit afraid of what the results are going to be because if there does turn out to be a problem, they may feel less of a man. I bet a lot of men resist having vasectomies for this reason. I'm sure as far as you're concerned the fears he may be having are nonsense and irrational.... but since when are emotions rational?! Perhaps try speaking to him so you can explain how this is affecting you and with your understanding and support he might change his mind....

  8. #24
    bikini is offline Registered User
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    Don't delay!

    After 8 months of trying you should be pregnant, or there is a problem. Go right away to a fertility specialist, not just an OB/GYN. I delayed for 2 YEARS, and what a big mistake. By the time we identified the problem, we only had time for one child, my husband's sperm count is now too low. They will give you the basic tests, and this will either identify the problem or give you the confidence to know that you just need more time! BTW, IVF is only the last resort. Many babies come by way of IUI.

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