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TTC, depressed, feel like giving up

  1. #1
    Bozo is offline Registered User
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    TTC, depressed, feel like giving up

    I think it's yet another 'no' this month. I'm totally fed up of the disappointment and upset every month. Hubby wants to keep on trying but the anxiety I feel every month is getting too much. He says we should be optimistic and just carry on as we have been doing but I'm finding this impossible. We're going into month 10 of TTC and none of my friends took longer than 4 months to get pregnant. I'm only 30 so age shouldn't be a problem. When we were starting out on this journey I never imagined for a second that I wouldn't be pregnant by now. I know that in the scheme of things a lot of people out there have taken longer to get pregnant so perhaps I shouldn't be so down about it. I can't help how I feel though - and I'm just not sure I'd want to go down the IVF route. The effect it has on your body, having hopes dashed etc. it all just seems like too much to cope with. Anyone have any suggestions for making this whole thing a bit easier to cope with?

  2. #2
    reei is offline Registered User
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    don't give up. give yourself some time and not so much pressure.

    maybe you'd like to go for pre-pregnancy test at family planning association and discuss with professionals there.:alien:

  3. #3
    agemish is offline Registered User
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    i know of a friend going through the same thing but the part that gets her down is the pressure and expectation she puts on herself. this will also effect your relationship with your husband and trying for the sake of trying. don't do this to yourself as having a child is a lot of responsibility.
    PLease do consider professional advice as this journey involves the both of you and there are many options of fertility programs now, not just IVF.
    What about a romantic weekend gateaway? My first son was conceived that way, we had so much fun, we forgot about the family planning stuff. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Geo
    Geo is offline Registered User
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    Dont despair. A friend of mine has taken 2 yrs to conceive and her cycle was very irregular, even tougher to ascertain ovulation.She did went for tests to ensure her eggs and ovulation were normal and her husband did a sperm count just to be sure. She also took her bascal temperature to spot ovulation period.

    She had her first child during her vacation in US.

    So it is good to get some feedbacks from docs to ensure things are normal and then just relax a bit, go for vacation.

    Most important is to keep the tender loving care between spouse.....Cheers.

  5. #5
    mum of 2 is offline Registered User
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    Don't give up if it's what you both really want. Maybe you want to 'take a break' though; give up on the timing etc. for a month or 2. The holidays suggested above are a great idea. I have a number of friends who had all but given up, and conceived in the end. One had endometriosis and was told that she should not even put pressure on herself/her husband by focusing (she's now pregnant on her second, her eldest is only a year old). Another friend's doctor told her that they were wasting their time and emotional investment on a final course of IVF, and they are expecting twins in July. So be careful what you wish for! It's impossible to force yourself to relax, but if you spent a couple of cycles enjoying your relationship rather than timing every single attempt, it might do you the world of good. Like you say, you are only 30.

  6. #6
    white umbrella is offline Registered User
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    RE: TTC...don't give up

    Don't give up, it will happen sooner than you know it. I think most doctors even say that one should try for two years before "looking into it"...Though can understand the pressure you feel... Did you ever hear about a book called:" Taking charge of your fertility"?... Maybe you just don't know when you are ovulating...it is all based on body temperature, you take your temperature every morning before getting up ( I know it can be a bore) and when it is higher than average you know you are ovulating...it truly works and helps to understand your body 's own rythms....and when it is time to have fun with hubby ;-)! Good luck!

  7. #7
    Bozo is offline Registered User
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    Thanks all for the wise words. Mum of 2 - your suggestion of enjoying my relationship particularly hit home. Unfortunately it's all too easy for trying to conceive to turn into an obssession and I think my concern to time things right has taken over. As for knowing when I'm ovulating, i've a very regular cycle and use OPKs just to make sure (yes, I told you - obssessive) so I don't think we're just accidentally missing the right time. Hubby tells me to try and forget about it but I think it's easier for men to put these things at the back of their minds because it's not their bodies that go through the monthly cycle. Once my PMS starts I'm constantly looking out for anything unusual.

    I've also heard of people taking 2 years to get pregnant, but I can't believe this was purely down to luck. I mean, something must have been wrong, surely?

  8. #8
    bbky is offline Registered User
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    It took me 10 years, when I 'd just about given up 3 years ago. I now have a beautiful 2 and half year old girl. I think the thing that did it for me was I started doing things I love again and not give myself too much pressure. So hang in there.

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