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  1. #1
    JANE892 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Hong Kong


    Hi Ladies,
    Unfortuately I've just had a miscarriage at only about 5 weeks. Very distressing as i am only new to HK and was very excited about having a baby. I got right into looking for a hospital and working out medical insurance etc etc and then this happened. It's really sad.
    Everyone tells me its really common and that the next time will be fine etc etc.
    Is there anything anyone can tell me in regards to what we/I should do differently next time. I want to try and get pregnant again as soon as I'm allowed to (I think I have to wait a month before trying). I have my fingers & toes crossed it works out next time....
    Thanks for any advice you can give me.

  2. #2
    jud is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Hung Hom

    Hi Jane,

    I don't think it is "common", could be that you are so stressed out since you just move to HK etc...

    Why don't you try putting a pillow under your hips before you sleep, this maybe a traditional thing to do but who knows. They say, it can help uplift our ovary & maybe next time you get pregnant your ovary can hold onto the developing weight properly.

    I have not been pregnant myself & keep my fingers crossed that hopefully i will be able to concieve this year as it has been two years of waiting.

    Goodluck to you & may you get pregnant soon...&, me too:-)

    Take care

  3. #3
    Sumei is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Hong Kong

    hi Jane892,

    I am very sorry to hear of your loss.....I had an ectopic pregnancy (and miscarriage) before I gave birth to my son 2 years ago (and am now pregnant again) so I have been through the emotional rollercoaster post-miscarriage. It's very easy (esp when you have every Tom Dick and Harry try to explain how you had a miscarriage as a result of something you did!) to "blame" it on something you did or ate or forgot to do etc.....unless you have been exhibiting extreme behaviour like sky diving OR alcohol binging, it's just your body's way of taking care of you.....if you check statistics, you will find it's very common to have miscarriages (esp if it's your first - maybe it's your body's way of trying to get the whole pregnancy thing right)....if there is anything you can do, it's to take care of you, emotionally and next physically (relax, exercise, get out and about, do things you like to do) and let nature take it's course......

    take care!

  4. #4
    joannek is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Hong Kong

    I have been there...twice..... & i'm sorry to hear about your story. and yes, it IS very common, especially for the first timers. There is a study that says 2 in 10 first timers will result in a early miscarriage. it's only that most ppl don't even know that they were pregnant & treated it as a late period. it's nothing you did that caused it so stop blaming yourself. it's just that your uterus wasn't ready or maybe the egg wasn't splitting right or some DNA thing went wrong.

    for me i waited 3 mths before trying again. altho my ob sasid i only need to wait for one cycle. i wanted to be safe. i went to a chinese doc & started watching my lifestyle. i was smoking & drinking & partying so i stopped all that & started caring more about myself. i eventually became healthy & got pregnant & my little girl is 2 now.

    i was very anxious about getting pregnant too, and when i was giving up & thinking, oh what the heck, i'll just make-love without worrying about getting pregnant.... and that's the time my period didn't come 10mths after that.

    so relax, stay healthy & good luck.

  5. #5
    ELT is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2006


    I'm very sorry about your loss. When I got pregnant, my OB told me and my husband on our first visit that miscarriage can happen for a lot of reasons BEYOND the mom's control.

    Right now, the most important thing is to stay healthy, eat well, exercise and relax. Good luck, will pray for you!

  6. #6
    Matty is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Sai Kung

    Hi Jane,

    I am so sorry.
    It is very common in the first 12 weeks, you just don't always hear about it as a lot of women are yet to annouce they're are pregnant and tend to keep it to themselves.
    If it's any comfort, you can be glad your body recognised that things maybe weren't going exactly right rather than continuing an unhealthy pregnancy.
    I'm sure that you'll go on to have beautiful healthy babies.

    Give me a call if you want to get together and have a cry.


  7. #7
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Hi Jane,
    it is VERY common, which is why doctors encourage women to not tell anyone until the 12 week mark. Lying on your back with a pillow isn't going to help stop it from happening, if it's not meant to be. It's nature way of dealing with pregnancies that have gone wrong in some way.

    My doctor scared the beejesus out of me when I was first pregnant so anytime I had a twinge or a bit of bleeding I would panic. I'm not sure how helpful it is to scare us like that but since so many women miscarry it's probably reasonable. Apparently, if you were to have four children you would very likely have at least one miscarriage along the way. The statistics that are out there are already high but supposedly the reality is higher. Many women miscarry but do so early on when they don't even know they are pregnant.

    All of this doesn't make it easier for you but you just have to trust that there was something wrong with the pregnancy and it was nature taking its course.

    You should probably wait a couple of months before trying again. A friend just miscarried at 9 weeks. She is a midwife and her husband is a doctor. They are waiting three months before trying again.

    Good luck.

  8. #8
    barbwong_130 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Hong Kong

    Dear Jane,

    I was sorry to hear your sad news. I found my miscarriage to be a very lonely sorrow as most people weren’t aware that anything had happened. But for me it was all I could think of.

    As almost everyone has said it is common but I think it is something that no one talks about until it happens. When I told some quite close friends about my miscarriage they told me about theirs. Until that time I had no idea they had such sad stories even those I’d been friends with for a while.

    I must admit that I found my pregnancy after the miscarriage very scary as I constantly worried about the baby. My doctor was very reassuring when I met with him but I would return to worrying again before my next visit. Fortunately nothing when wrong in the next pregnancy and I had a beautiful baby girl.

    I spent a lot of time reading on the internet trying to find out the reason for miscarriages. But it seems no one really knows. Many people think that it is because of chromosome disorders in the baby and so it is definitely not because of something you did.

    Best wishes,

    Last edited by barbwong_130; 03-30-2007 at 12:38 AM.

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