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Wanna-Be-Father...

  1. #1
    lantau35 is offline Registered User
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    Wanna-Be-Father...

    I'm a guy in my mid-thirties, my wife is 30 and we have been trying to conceive for 6 months now. I'm not concerned about the medical side just yet, but it's a hard situation - I really don't want to put pressure on my other half but it's also hard for me to hide the fact that I'm really excited by the idea of us starting a family. She surely feels the same way, but I think I make it worse by looking for good news too. She, after all, is the one that has to let me know that her period has come round again/not this month etc.

    I wanted to know if anyone else put there had/has a a hubby who's really into starting a family too? As other posters have said, it's not something that it's easy to talk about to friends and everyone keeps quiet about such things until they have some good news to share.

  2. #2
    jools is offline Registered User
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    You sound like such a lovely man. We kind of fell into being pregnant with our first, so my husband was happily surprised as we weren't expecting it. The only thing I would say is try to relax. It really is an exciting part of your life, but the more relaxed you are about it, the more likely it will happen sooner rather than later. Good luck.

  3. #3
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    yes, try to realx, & tell you wife that don't be dissapointed when the period comes (i know, it's hard not to). take it easy & it will happen when you least expect it. and eventually, i stopped telling my husband when my period came & it actually helped us relax. cos everytime i told my husband my period came, it created a pressure/disappointment between & around us.

  4. #4
    lantau35 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks to both of you. Yes, I'm sure relaxing about it is the way to go and I like the idea of her not telling me about her period starting/ stopping (you're right, it does create an atmosphere of dissapointment). Trouble is, I sometimes know logically what is the most constructive thing to do, but it can be damn hard to overule your instincts and natural feelings sometimes...!

  5. #5
    loupou is offline Baby Guru
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    Good luck to you!

    My husband was as eager as I to start a family and we really looked forward to lots of spontaneous & unprotected fun - maybe for a few months, before BINGO. But, I got pregnant right away. In one way it was terrific (we got what we wanted) but on the other hand, it was kind of abrupt.

    I guess the main thing - to keep the pressure off and so forth is for both you just to try not to think about the "purpose" and concentrate on the highly enjoyable process, with great frequency and delight!

  6. #6
    sky123 is offline Registered User
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    I felt more relaxed about our baby plans because we sort of set ourselves a timetable i.e. if after how long no baby, do checkups with Dr and see if any problems. Cos we so wanted a child and were not getting any younger we felt more comfortable with a timetable like we were being more proactive. So we were able to relax. I guess just depends on your own personality but I am just one of these very practical people who likes things planned out. Not sure if this is for you of course.

  7. #7
    sophwillsmum is offline Registered User
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    Try taking Zinc supplements if you want to feel a bit proactive. Zinc really helps to increase the amount and quality of sperm. I know in Australia that is becoming very commonplace, rather like taking prenatal vitamins for the mum. Also, maybe you could go on line and read about the role that timing, diet etc plays. Atl east then you'll know that you are doing all you can to help yourself out. Did you know that the average time it takes to conceive is actually 6 months? I know it probably seems like such a long time now, but hopefully your time will come very soon. GOOD LUCK! You sound like you will make a beautiful daady. Your wife is very lucky.
    Sally.

  8. #8
    lantau35 is offline Registered User
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    Thanks very much for your comments which give some extra perspective - and some other useful suggestions there for me too. Hopefully, I'll be able to let you know that there's some good news to report one of these days...

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