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any moms managing without a helper?

  1. #9
    madaboutCows is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Hong Kong

    I have a 3 and 1 year old and have never had a full time helper only a part time cleaner who comes in a few days a week. PM me if you'd like to chat as it is possible to survive in HK without one.

  2. #10
    barbwong_130 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Hong Kong

    I have never had a live in help but managed with four children and part time help. The hardest part I’ve found is arranging baby sitting when I want to go out. In England where most people don’t have help, and if they do it is just cleaning for a couple of hours, mothers form baby sitting circles and have play date arrangements. I found that because almost everyone has helpers in Hong Kong they have no need for this sort of arrangement.

    This meant that if I wanted to go out I had to make an arrangement – call my husband to come home, take the kids to a relative’s or a good friend’s. This cut down the number of times I went out by myself because making all the arrangements (this usually included leaving dinner almost cooked as well) wasn’t worth the effort.

    I now work a couple of days a week and during the school term time everything is great. I arrange for someone to collect my youngest from school and prepare dinner. The problem comes during the school holidays. My part time helper has a different job in the mornings and so can’t come to my home earlier. This means making a separate arrangement for the morning and the afternoon.

    I find the arrangements are manageable when you are doing nothing out of the ordinary but as soon as you need to make a special arrangement – that’s when the difficulties occur.

    I’m not talking about emergency situations. I’ve found everyone very eager to help in emergencies. After all who minds looking after a friend’s children when she’s taking her eldest to the A&E? But would you ask a friend to look after your children once a week so you could go and get your nails done unless you were doing the same for her?

  3. #11
    elmo is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    I'm a stay at home mum to a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 1/2 month old and have no full-time or part-time helper. Luckily hubby works in the same building, so he doesn't have to leave for work till 9am, comes home for lunch, will pop home and do a bit of babysitting if I need to take one of the kids to the pediatrician or if I have a doc/dentist appt., and normally gets home just after 5pm.

    I vacuum the floor regularly (if I'm not expecting visitors, the vacuum will normally be out in the living room), dust when I can, clean the toilet/ bathrooms as and when needed, normally cook and wash dishes with the boys in the kitchen or with the younger one in the playpen and switch on 'Baby TV' for the older one, do the laundry regularly but iron when I get the chance (hubby likes to wash and iron his work clothes himself). Hubby helps put the older one to bed while I get the baby ready for bed. We take turns to do the groceries - normally after work or occasionally a quick shopping trip during hubby's lunch break, or we drive up to the Parkview PNS at the weekends.

    I fly back to my parents' place next week because for the next 2 weeks, hubby has said he'll be busy at work which means late nights for him. We have not appointed a babysitter yet so have not had a night out for almost 9 months now!

    I think the reason I've survived so far is because hubby is nearby if I need him.

  4. #12
    ctrbabe1 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Pok Fu Lam, Hong Kong

    I am also a SAHM with two kids and no helper. My dd's are 4, and 6 wks old. We also live in a small 2 bedroom flat and there is no way we could have someone else living here. It's hard enough when people come to visit for a week or two and have to sleep on the sofa-bed. There is no room and no privacy. I wish we had a part time helper a few days per week, but we haven't done that, either.

    I think that if you can get some help for the first couple of weeks after your baby is born, from friends or relatives or your church group or play group (if you have them) to bring dinners, that would help you a lot. It would help you all adjust to having the new baby without having to worry about what to eat every night.

    Also, if your husband is around and not traveling all the time, make sure he knows that you will need help with some day to day things like taking out the trash, doing a load of laundry, cleaning the bathroom now and then, taking your older child to the playground so you can nap for an hour or whatever. This will also help lessen your stressload if he can help out.

    My older dd rides the school bus so all I have to do is take her downstairs to where the bus picks her up and drops her off. Does your child's school have a bus? That will be a lot easier than having to take him to and from school every day, especially if the baby is sleeping or needs to eat or whatever.

    If you would like to chat more about it or have specific questions, feel free to pm me!!

    All the best,

  5. #13
    bbc mom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    New Territories

    Thanks to everyone for sharing their views. I've still got loads of time to consider my options but will probably opt for part-time help just to do the housework and occasional cooking. If that doesn't work out, I can still get a full-time helper and we are even thinking about moving to a bigger flat.

    I guess for me, it's also a confidence issue and doubting my own ability to take care of 2 kids, especially with my first one being quite clingy, still breastfeeding and even now still wakes up at night. Hope I can resolve this before I next get pregnant!

  6. #14
    cinnamon is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    central, hong kong

    I only have the one child and felt guilty about gettting help.
    But my part time helper has been wonderful.
    I live in a 400sqft apartment so there was no way we could have a live in anyway.
    She started to come in for a few hours a day to free me up to do other things and give me a break.
    Now she comes from 10-6 4 times a week as I am back at work part time.
    You can always have a full time helper that lives out (you need to pay for a room for them. Many helpers are used to this arrangement and can organise this themselves) And they can come in for hours you specify or stay over when and if you need.
    HK can be hard with out help .
    Thank god for DHs they are absolute life and sanity savers.

  7. #15
    tkc is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Hong Kong

    Part Time Helper


    Doing it without a helper is amazing. Kudos to those of you who have done so. I haven't been able to do. I have a part-time helper who I won't be using anymore as I am going back to work and will have a live-in helper. The part-timer is AMAZING with our son who I am EXTREMELY particular about. Her name is Amy if anybody needs a part time helper. Send me a message and I'll have her call you. She is awesome. She has more energy than I do sometimes with our son and when he sleeps she is always doing something else - cleaning, vacuuming, ironing, laundry, etc. She has even taken our dog out a couple of times upon my request.

    Let me know if you need somebody and I'll have her call you. I would HIGHLY recommend her - she was recommended to me by another mom on geobaby!!

  8. #16
    Klam is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Yuen Long NT

    tkc, I have sent you a message.

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