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I need to get a new DH urgently who specializes in toddler care

  1. #9
    spockey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    JLee, I must agree with everyone.

    I'm working full time (so does my hubby) and I/We NEVER let the maid take care of my son once I'm or both of us are home. She understands that once either one of us is home, we take over as we're his parents. My DH, although she treats him like her own son, needs a break too from caring for him. It's only natural.We both know how hard it is to be a full time carer to a baby/toddler.

    As far as disciplining, my son knows better even at 14 months to be "naughty" to my DH. She is allowed to sternly tell him off when he doesn't do the right thing. There's too many toddlers who "lord" over their carers!

    We both work hard, and when my hubby and I decided to have a baby, we realised that there will no longer be Sunday morning sleep in(s). Never once did we think that a stranger would raise our child so that we could sleep in. In fact, once our DH goes to bed (between 8.30 and 9.30) we NEVER disturb her. We tend to the needs of our bub every week day from 5.30 p.m. (at the earliest when I get to leave early) till 7.25 am the next day before we leave for work (WITHOUT our DH). On weekends, she is not allowed to babysit him. We get up once our bub is up. It's time with mum and dad. It's part and parcel of RESPONSIBLE parenting. You can't realistically expect an Indonesian DH to fulfill that responsibility!

  2. #10
    joannek is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Hong Kong
    so is it your child or your DH's child? i have a feeling that your current maid has enuf of being your child's "mom" so tell you that she has to get married.

    anyway. i have to agree on everything they say here. being a parent has responsibilites & i sure don't think you should let your DH (whoever you hire) raise your child for you. children grow up imitating their parent, mostly because that's the most stimulation he/she gets from. the brain expert who wrote the book "what going on in there?" saids that the stimulation of a child's first 5 years mold what a person becomes. ifyou let your DH took full care of your child, he will become like your helper & not you or your husband.

    as for working 365, 24/7. can you do it? if not, i think you need 2 helpers.

  3. #11
    HappyV is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005
    At the very least you need to be realistic about what you're going to get if you ask someone to work 7 days a week. I wouldn;t want to work for any employer under those circumstances. I can only assume that's the reason you have an Indonesian maid - no Filippino helper would stand for it - and rightly so.

    If you don't like your new maid (for whatever work related reason), then go through the legal process of dismissal. If you don't want to do this, then either put up with what you've got, re-train her, or perhaps take an active role in parenting your child, rather than leaving it up to someone else to do for you.

    From what you have described (long hours, plus a Sunday sleep in) it sounds like you (might) see your child for 1/2 a day a week.

    Quite frankly - why did you bother to have kids if you're not prepared to spend any time or effort?

  4. #12
    asalles is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Hong Kong
    well said everyone. I hope jlee gets the point and will treat her next DH with the care and respect she should be giving to her own child. and another thing...I dont think your DH or anyone for that matter "needs" to get married...its more like ...they "WANT" to get married.

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