[hkmami]

Thank you for all your response. At least I don't feel all alone. Bubbly, I am sorry you had to deal with such an awful person too especially since it was your first baby and a preemie too!!! But you were right to have fired her early on...i felt relieved also. As for me, it was my second child and I had a really good experienced with my first confinement lady (she wasn't available for my second) that I had decided to hire someone 24hrs. The whole pregnancy i hardly slept and ended up with HBP in the end. I just wanted to rest at ease so that I would be ok during the day to be with my older child. Anyhow I've hired someone just to come and cook for me only (no one touching the baby anymore). I am happy that at least we have a place to vent and warn others of our bad encounters and hope that no one has to go through the same thing. I'm so happy we can post the details here so that everyone can be careful before they decide to hire a confinement lady.

[rani]

Originally Posted by carang

i do, however, think that MOST women have an instinct when it comes to their children. now it doesn't always work that way, but honestly, bathing a baby is fairly simple. make sure water is not too hot. hold baby so won't go under the water, wash.

!

I have to confess, I couldn't bathe D for the first few weeks either. Getting the water at the right temp was easy. It's holding baby, making sure the head is supported and then sponging etc. Fortunately, my sister stayed with me for the first couple of weeks and bathed D.

[somebodyfamous]

What a horrible experience!! I am lucky that my confinement lady is a cousin of one of my Aunties-in-law. Anyone need a reliable one, pm me!

[loupou]

HKmami,

I am so sorry to hear about your unhappy experience and hope that no others will have to deal w/ such an unpleasant confinement lady. A confinement lady should RELIEVE stress, not cause it.

re: letting other people take care of the baby...

Everyone is different. My m-i-l came over every day and helped me and I had a domestic helper as well. M-i-l cooked my special foods and enjoyed bathing the bb. I breastfed the BB, ate my food and rested
as much as I could, because my eldest liked to breastfeed every to to three hours (all day and all night) and my 2nd bb liked to nurse every two hours or less, for up to an hour at a time. After feeding them, I was grateful to have someone else to help cuddle them and bathe them so I could try and snatch a bit of sleep or do other things... like read the newspaper or go out for a walk.


I was never worried about other people touching the bbs. For my second bb my mom & step-dad came to visit from No. America and they helped out a bit too - sometimes cuddling the bb so I could give my 22 mo. old toddler some "mama time".

Aiya, my second BB had a habit of not falling asleep after his 1am or 2am feed and there I would be, walking him & cuddling him for hours between 3am & 5am. I considered myself lucky to have plenty of loving and competent hands to care for them.

[Bubbly]

Just wanted to let you all know that the agency I used has another company name: Mum&Baby and E-Amah.

The confinement lady called me today and told me that I still owe her her salary plus the laisee for the end of confinement (it is a tradition to give them one laisee when they arrive at your home and one when they leave - that is if they have completed the whole confinement period).

I told her that I have already paid her agency so she should sort it out with them and she started shouting at me down the phone. I also told her that I was NOT going to give her anymore money for her awful services and again she went on and on, so in the end, I had to put down the phone on her. She called back and again started her screaming nonsense.....

I just can't believe that it has been over a month since she left and she is back to haunt me! I will be calling the agency and telling them that if they disturb me once more, I am going to sue them or something.... Any ideas on how I can get rid of them??

[Bubbly]

Just spoke to the agency and the stupid woman said that the deposit I paid was admin fee and was not the actual fee for confinement !!!!! I told her that no where in the contract does it say that and that if there are anymore dispute, she should go to the lawyers and sue me, so we can go to court to sort it out.

She told me that I have to deal with the confinement lady myself, but I said since they are the agent, I should not have to deal with her directly..... and guess what, she said 'too bad'.... I really cannot believe what I have got myself into....

[hkmami]

Oh my god!!! I can't believe the nerve of your agency and your confinement lady!! I'd surely be fuming!! If you don't mind me asking, how much percentage of a down pmt did you give them. I was just thinking if that amount surpasses the no of days the confinement lady actually served you then you can tell them that they are the ones to owe you money and that if they don't pay you back, you are going to take them to the small claims court...which you should if you've overpaid and didn't get your services. All you need is their name and address. Best of luck. If anyone thinks there is a better way of dealing with people like this then please share with us!!

[loupou]

Bubbly,

Have you called the Consumer Council?
http://www.consumer.org.hk/

Telephone hotline 2929-2222

Office Locations
http://www.consumer.org.hk/website/w...eLocation.html

How horrible for you. As a new mother you should not have to deal w/ this. Maybe you ask your husband or your mom to take this up for you, so you can get some rest?

Good luck.