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Lying Domestic Helpers

  1. #17
    Konradsmom is offline Registered User
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    I actually don't see how this brings in the conclusion that this thread is another way to make employers/us look/appear superior. If at all, I just learnt that fibbing happens and I should not be suprised if it happens again and learn to deal with it.

    Again whether DH is employed as slave labour is not relevant to this argument. Or is someone saying that because SH are subject to slavery" and therefore dishonesty is justified? It sounds a little like that to me.

  2. #18
    shri's Avatar
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    IHappyV - I don't think it is a thread about how superior employers are and I don't think its fair to bring in extreme ideas like "slave labour" (taking an argument to an extreme does have its validities, but also runs the risk of reducing the credibility of several valid points you may have to offer).

    If you look at the business forums GeoExpat, you'll see that several members there discuss employer and employee relationships - issues like "do local employees work intelligently", "how do I verify expense reports", "are my employees ripping me off on sick leave" etc.

    These discussions at a hypothetical level are similar to the discussions about domestic helpers.

    It is important that we maintain open discussions. I am of the belief that outside of a fringe group that does not get the point of these discussions, they serve to educate many DH employers about issues that are faced when they hire their first DH.

    Imagine if you were buying a business for the first time... imagine if you had a forum that told you about all the different ways in which owners might pad their numbers and try to get the extra dollar from you.

    I do suggest to start looking at these discussions with an open mind.

    If and when you think that a law is broken, feel free to drop us a note.. and drop the various govt departments a line too. We (the folks who own geobaby / geoexpat and I suspect the members on these sites) are firm believers that employee abuse has no place in the work place.. no matter where it is.

  3. #19
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    Shri,
    Wouldn;t it be nice if administrators could drop in like this when someone posts (as they did not too long ago) about how they expect their heloer to be on duty 7 days a week so that they can sleep in? Where was Geobaby's official comment then?

    I'm not breaking any laws: I have just suggested that the general contiuum of behaviour of HK employers in relation to their expectations of their DH, tends towards one end of morality.

    I know that sometimes I come across as an extremist, but I do feel that (especially for 1st time employers and Mums) Geobaby tends to paint a very employer heavy version of events: probably inevitable, but I feel it is important for employers to be continually reminded that they are employing humans, not machines, who quite often work longer hours than their employers, and (I would argue) have a MUCH more important job. (Whatever the $$)

  4. #20
    mum of 2 is offline Registered User
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    HappyV, I don't think I'm missing the point at all. Nobody here was suggesting that helpers should work 24/7, it was simply a question about how to deal with a lying helper.

    Yes, there was another thread last week, basically looking for a helper who would work 7 days a week so that she and her husband would not have to do any parenting. There was 100% revulsion in the response from other posters/employers - pointing out that she made the choice to have children, not the helper, and that nobody can work 24/7 in any job etc. etc.

  5. #21
    provence is offline Registered User
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    HappyV, Geobaby does not paint a very employer heavy version of events and

  6. #22
    provence is offline Registered User
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    and this forum never treated domestic helper as slave. We treat DH as an employee who is expected to work honestly and ethically and not lying and stealing.

    I think all employers (corporation and domestic) expect that kind of attitude from their employees.

  7. #23
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
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    HappyV, of course Geobaby is more pro employer than pro domestic helper, the website is used primarily by Employers - we're going to talk about the issues that matter to us and that means relating stories that have happened to us. I don't understand your insistence in slapping every thread that talks about helpers with nasty and extreme comments. What is the point of this forum in your opinion? If we're not able to discuss the issues that are relevant to us, why would we come here?

    This thread was so completely innocent - it's a shame that starting a new thread about anything relating to helpers automatically means the original poster will have to defend themselves down the line.

    Domestic helpers have their own equivalent where they share stories about us. Whether it's online or in person they've not been known to hold back. I know a couple who haven't been able to hire a new helper because the last one they had - who stole from them - lied about what happened and told all other helpers not to work for them.

  8. #24
    shri's Avatar
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    >> Where was Geobaby's official comment then?

    I did not have the time or energy to reply to that thread (I think I have a reply saved in my notepad) and neither did I have the energy to drive around that day.... :)

    >> Impossible to work 24/7 ...

    I beg to differ. My average day is about 19 hours these days (I kid you not). While I do find an hour to play with the son, I really do not and cannot function in the AM.. so I see the original posters point.

    The sad part about that thread was .. no one pointed out that even investment bankers have to work 24/7 at times and they're expected to by their employers. No one calls them names...

    The poster in that thread had said that they were willing to pay the overtime... so whats the big deal? I've seen iBankers do a lot more demeaning stuff for their 7 figure bonuses.

    We all have to work for a living.. some work for peanuts, some work for caviar and champagne. Basic human nature says .. we work while we're essentially happy and when we're not, we will eventually find a way out. The whole "slave labour" term trivializes the real problems of the folks who are really in forced situations, when used in situations like this.

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