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DH's last day today, sad

  1. #9
    HappyV is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005

    Shri, I haven't ignored it, I simply hadn't seen it yet. I log on ano off during work breaks, so I don;t always see every thread. If you track my previous posts you will see that I do post 'positive' thoughts on many other threads.

    I do think it's great that they will mis their helper - I'm more sorry for her chronic back pain.

    It does go to show that in this particular family's case (as the OP said) whatever problems they had with rostering etc were put into a different perspective once they knew she was really going.

    Given that my posts on another thread are being removed (2 today) - will this be removed as well?

    LynnyP - you may find my opinions annoying. Sorry about that.

  2. #10
    lynn cheung is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Tsuen Wan

    Sorry, too HappyV.

    I don't have anything against you and I understand you meaning well. But if other members already tell you that you misunderstood their post/meaning, please just accept it graciously.
    And I know that you mean well. My mom also has some good helpers and I like them.
    It's annoying when you obviously miss the mark and insist it again and again.
    I know you post something positive, too and I really like to read them.
    Keep up the good work but please try not to miss the mark.

    Kashismum, I'm not complaint about the discussion. But maybe you didn't follow the other threads.
    I like discussion that has some pros and contras but if the other members already tell someone that she/he misunderstood their meaning, please don't dwell and make it even longer. Just accept it graciously and move on, and post something that is on the mark.

    Sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone.

    Last edited by lynn cheung; 06-07-2007 at 08:06 PM.

  3. #11
    shri's Avatar
    shri is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Hong Kong

    >> Given that my posts on another thread are being removed (2 today) -
    >> will this be removed as well?

    Members have been complaining about your patronizing tone which tends to take threads way off track.

    As someone who needs to manage the community I have to pay more attention to members who are contributors to the overall community in general .. and not just this forum.

    Hence .. we have had to delete some of your posts which were pointless.

    Drop me a note on [email protected] if you want to chat further.

  4. #12
    TayTay is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Hong Kong

    Just want to share my experience. My helper resigned on us (long story) recently and we have a new one now looking after our two-year old.

    Although we went through the anger, sadness, guilt feelings when she said she was going to leave, I now look back on the two years that she spent here, and really appreciate what she did with our little one. She was not a good cook, a bit shoddy when it came to cleaning, not great at following instructions when it came to housework, and a bit stubborn at times, I can now say that those things didn't really matter compared to what she did for us with our daughter.

    As far as I know, and it shows with my daughter's personality, she dedicated time to reading, playing, having fun and just giggling with her.

    The stained laundry, bad cooking, stubbornness seem a little irrelevant now when I think of the time she spent caring for our baby.

    Having said this, I don't believe in spoiling our helper, and definitely do not agree that they should use our children as their excuse for not doing anything else. Just want to say that it's important to get perspective and balance in all this. It's hard to when you've just discovered another pair of burnt trousers or when she gives you the "I don't know what you're talking about" look when you're telling her something for the 100th time.

    How much can we do on our own on a Sunday, while looking after our little ones?

    Tomorrow, I'll most probably regret writing this message and start to hate her again, but for today, I want to say I do appreciate what she did for us.

  5. #13
    HappyV is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005

    I just wonder how many of us (educated women) would do as good a job as we demand from our DH if we had their jobs?

    I know that my flat would not be as clean!
    And I would certainly be more grumpy!

  6. #14
    mintycat is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2006

    That's true. I really appreciate what DH does for us because I absolutely hate housework and cooking!

  7. #15
    aldougie is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003

    I'm back in the UK now and I think my husband would testify that it was worth the money getting a cleaner to stop me moaning about it!
    I don't know how our helper managed to keep on top of everything and still have a smile on her face at the end of the day.

    Hardest thing about leaving HK was telling her that we were leaving and I am happy to say that we are still in touch now, she's with a really nice family and she's coming to visit for 2 weeks in July which my eldest can't wait for.

    Those of us who have great helpers who are a bonus to our family life don't post I guess because we have nothing to moan about. So I see nothing strange about being sad on your helper's last day - I bawled my eyes out and am happy we are still in touch.

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