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Conflicted about working

  1. #1
    capital is offline Banned
    Join Date
    May 2004

    Conflicted about working

    I am currently working 4 days a week, and finding it too much, considering going casual and working 1-2 days/week, but I feel so much toss up. Less money, more time at home, no pension, childcare issues for casual hours, etc, etc, etc. I have always worked, so I think part of it is also my identiy with that too. When on mat leave I still had a job on paper, but now goiving up my permanent job I think I am also having an identity crisis. Plus work has had a lot of turn over and I feel guilty to leave now when so may new inexpereienced staff there. Yet it is so hard to gi in the morning, I just want to be at home. The balance of homw/work it out of wack right now. How have you come to decide whether to stay home or work, or set what combination of the two is best for you, and was it hard to make that switch for you?

  2. #2
    loupou is offline Baby Guru
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    New Territories

    Hi Capital,

    It sounds like you a very torn. Can you switch to PT for a while? Maybe talk w/ your boss and ask for 6 months PT, and then a renegotiation?

    It could also be that you are very TIRED. Have you taken a holiday for a while? Maybe what you need is a vacation. If you can have a vacation - have one at home & just try and relax. Sleep, read novels, go for walks, etc. Maybe if you are less tired, what you want will be more clear.

    Just remember, it's not a one-off decision. Maybe you'll do PT for a few years & then start back full-time later? Maybe you will quit entirely for 3 years and then go to full-time later. Most likely you will want to go back to work (at least part-time) by the time your kid(s) finish secondary school. :)

    It was never a big decision for me. I planned to work full-time outside the home and I did. There was a time when the kids were under 4 that I wished I could switch over to PT for a while - but in my job, there was no flexibility of that type. Now my kids are older, I am more satisfied w/ working FT.

    But... I have very regular work hours (I am home before 6pm most nights) and some flexibility in hours and good leave arrangements and I travel on business about once every three or four years. So, it has worked out nicely for me. But, I might feel very different if I were expected to put in 60 hour weeks and did not get home until 9pm at night.

    So, make lists - think hard, talk w/ your husband/partner and try and think quietly by yourself & come to know your heart.

  3. #3
    bekyboo44 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Discovery Bay, Hong Kong

    Hi- it's a really hard decision to make and one that might take time for you to resolve.

    I never planned to give up work when I had children and then I got pregnant and started to rethink it. I had to take lot of time off work when pregnant because I kept picking up illnesses that kept me away from work, and during the end of my pregnancy it just got too much to get up and go to work everyday!
    Then my son was born and honestly going back to work never even crossed my mind at least not until now when he's just 8 mnths old, and I'm still only thinking about it.
    I never thought I would be happy being at home with baby all day but I am and I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I want to be at home right now for my son, while he's so young, as I think I am the best person for him right now- I want to be their for all his 'firsts,' and I want to be the one responsible for his development.
    Financially we've had to make some sacrifices but it has been worth it.
    I haven't shut out the idea of returning to work completely, it's something I still think about, and am considering working an afternoon or two a week in a few mnths.
    Plus I see work as something I can return to when my son is older, when he's at school all day, for example.

    There is no 'one solution fits all,'. you could try cutting down your work hrs and see how it goes, you may love it, you may hate it. You can always return to FT work.

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