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helper hours?

  1. #57
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    HappyV - I wrote "i used to feel sooooooo weird with this person tagging along my back carrying groceries.". this person meaning "my DH". if you had read a post correctly without thinking of how to criticise others first, you would have understood "this person" as my DH cos there's no way a baby can be "carrying groceries". excuse me for my lack of proper English if my choice of words have misled you. afterall, i'm local & born & raised in HK.

    the thing with me is, i carry my daughter all the time which i think is normal, unlike a lot of my friends who think their DH should be carrying their offspring. my daughter is 30lbs+ but i'm more than happy to do it. even though it meant falling down this Monday carrying her walking on Stanley Street & couldn't walk for the next 2 days. i still insisted on carrying a cane & bringing her to playgroups myself, altho both the bone specialist & my hubby said i should stay home & get some rest so that my leg could heal. for those of you who are concerned, my leg is getting so much better thanks to homeopath, i could walk without my cane today.

  2. #58
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    *me thinking aloud* - i just wish this HappyV person would be for once less crtical about everything. i feel genuinely sorry for a person to be so negative in everything one sees, and trying to find fault in everything.

    *me asking aloud* - administrators, i find it difficult to believe such bitter person do exist in reality. or is he/she just a virtual reality member geobaby has created to act as the devil's advocate?

  3. #59
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    I was responding to the comment you made about your baby in the back of the car - not the comment about yur DH helping you to shop. I haven't made any comment which could lead you to think that I am attacking, belittleing or criticising your language or culture. However, you have made it clear that you believe my ideas about your situation are based on your race - I can assure you that they are not. It is infact you who have misread or misundestood my post.

    Critical about "Everything" - hardly. You have acknowleged yourself that your comments may open you up to criticism. I have not attacked you - I have stated why I disagree with your approach. You probably would tell me that I am too lenient with my helper - that she doesn't work hard enough, or that I should set some more boundaries. Every employer will have a different set of parametres within which they expect their DH to work - but we should also be honest that there is a spectrum of behaviour here, ranging from the fantastic to the abusive. As I said before, helper's hours whoudl not just be about what is 'legal' - but what is reasonable. 'Reasonable' is open to debate - which is what is happening here.

    I an assure you that I am not a 'troll'! (i.e a false identity set up by another user). I just have strong opinions on the treatment of Domestic Helpers in HK.

  4. #60
    AndreaY is offline Registered User
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    Haven't been replying to any of the helper threads, but have read them. Happy V, sorry to disagree, but you do come across as being critical on all issues dealing with helpers and there is nothing wrong with it, that being your opinion. However, I think most people on this forum would agree that a lot of your comments do sound overly judgmental and negative (even though most of the mothers come across as very reasonable in the treatment of their helpers) and it is not a figment of their imagination. Even if it's not how it's meant to sound, in reality, that's how it comes across. Guess that's the way it is with communication on the web, that conversations are shortened and condensed and things may sound differently than they are meant. Just felt to say it cos JoanneK has always sounded reasonable towards her helper and loving towards her daughter and did not deserve the comments of sacarsm or criticism.

  5. #61
    jane01 is offline Registered User
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    Helpers for stay at home mums? Totally justified !

    I think expats who generally live here without any family especially need them. They are part of the support network. Examples of needing someone you can rely on include:
    * my friend who had pneumonia - 14 days in hospital with her husband by her side, 2 children including a baby at home with the helper.
    * my husband travels a LOT. If something happened to me, I know my helper could take care of my children until my husband came home.
    * having the freedom to spend one-on-one time with a child knowing the other child/ren are well taken care of.
    * especially when you have a newborn and an older child, it is helpful to leave the helper at home with the baby whilst you do school pickup/drop off, so as not to interrupt the baby's sleep.
    * just being able to go out for a meal/movie/whatever with your husband or friends occasionally
    * Children are a full time job. It is nice to hand the housework over to someone else.

    Also, sometimes mum just needs time out.

  6. #62
    ELT
    ELT is offline Registered User
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    I work full time. But if I do become a stay at home mum someday, I'd still hire one. Why not?

  7. #63
    joannek is offline Registered User
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    thanks, AndreaY.

    HappyV, if you were gonna attack me regarding my daughter staying in the back of the car by herself, i already mentioned that I'm tryin to get her to behave so that I can bring her so Dh doesn't have to come. & try telling a 2yr old that all other 2 yr olds behave in the car & that she should too! since i'm already trying to rectify my problem, i cannot see how that warrants an attack.

    on that subject; i've driven several 2 year olds, they all behave well in a car. they either sit quietly or sing along the children songs i play, or ask about what they see along the way. i have never seen anyone like my daughter who 50% of the time screams & kicks while in a car......

  8. #64
    bekyboo44 is offline Registered User
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    Shouldn't a two year old be in a car seat in a car? That would make sure they were sat safetly and it would make travelling alone with a two year old, however active, energetic etc. much easier? Then it wouldn't matter how much they kicked and screamed because they would be in the car seat and unable to go anywhere.

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