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Chinese traditions

  1. #17
    miaka is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Chai Wan

    barbwong 130 pretty much said all i wanted to say. i think balance and compromise will keep you sane. having a baby is no easy physical feat. expect full recovery to take maybe at least 6 months (pre-preggy state). but you'll feel pretty good and ok by week 3.

    just 2 notes about my own experience:
    1. having visitors during my confinement was really exhausting. and i only had a few. having the 1 month banquet was a good way for all to meet the baby and let me recover a bit physically too. tho i agree w/ the others that it doesn't have to be exactly 1 month. the point is to celebrate your baby.

    2. having studied both western and chinese med i can understand why you wouldn't want anything cold. from a western perspective, it takes a lot of energy for your body to warm up that cold drink to body temperature.

    from a eastern persective, having warm keeps wind out of that space where your baby used to occupy. however, this depends on your own constitution. example: my aunt had ice cream after birth and no problems. myself ... well, i had the worst diarrhea of my life (added exhaustion) cuz i have a fairly weak constitution. i totally regret that bowl of ice cream and i wish my brain cells were working then. maybe you could have room temp drinks instead? it's just a temporary thing. listen to your body. it knows best.

  2. #18
    JoTs is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Hong Kong

    BarbWong - just wanted to say thank you for your post, you are obviously a wise woman! I hope that when I have 4! children we will have the same relationship that you do.

    It seems that we are working towards similar ideas - hopefully our children will benefit.

    Thanks again

  3. #19
    ELT is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2006


    I usually stop at the 10th line when reading long posts, but yours kept me going. Thanks for sharing!

  4. #20
    Biscuit is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Thanks to everyone for your tips and advice! It's nice to know I'm not the only person on this earth facing these types of issues!!!

    At the end of the day - i'm having a baby which is such an important time!

    Regardless of the fact that my mother-in-law drives me in sane....she means well and has good intentions.

    Good luck to everyone with their pregnancies!

  5. #21
    hilsman is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Hong Kong

    most Chinese grandmas are getting more civilized and modern these days, like ELT said, if you don't feel comfortable with things, you should just acknowledge her views but stick with yourself.

    I'm married to my husband who was brought up in a very traditional Hong Kong Chinese family, and i've spent many years living in the UK and my family are quite open with thing. I'm lucky that my husband is very considerate, we both try to get the balance of things and try very hard to handle things well, so that we can please them as well as putting our minds in rest.

  6. #22
    shellyelle is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    Oh wow i am so glad i came across this post, i thought i was the only one with this problem!
    My husband is chinese and i am british and have been advised by his MIL on these exact same things, it wasa bit eaier for me though as my own mum came over for the birth of my daughter and we had a bit of a laugh at my MIL's expensive especially when she insisted i couldnt have a shower for a week and had to ginger to wash (my mum found this hillarious).
    WE had the one month party which was fime i didnt mind that as it was just a nice dinner at a resaurant and we had more chances to collect red packets for my daughter LOL. WE did have to pay for the dinner however and my husbands family is not a small one!
    At te moment its not too bad as my MIL works so she only pops by occasionally.
    The one thing that is really bugging me at the moment is my MIL's views on my daughters diet (whos 9 month old now).
    I am banned from feeding my daughter bananas (which i do anyway coz she loves them) and my MIL insists i should be feeding her congee everyday for evrey meal! I do give her congee for lunch as it is a good meal for a baby but not for breakfast and dinner too!\My solution is to agree with her when she is here and just do it my own way when she is not, what she doesnt know wont hurt her and she feels she has some imput!

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