[Lisa1]

Hi - my nearly 9 month baby girl has recently started waking at 2am and hollers constantly unless I pick her up or put her in bed with us.. She just wont let me leave her in her cot! It is really strange because until now she has always been a fantastic 'Gina' baby and has slept through the night from about 8 weeks! My husband and I are exhausted. I am guessing it is teething but I dont want to keep giving her medicine every night. Also, she goes straight to sleep as soon as I cuddle her but then starts crying the second I put her down, so I just dont know if it is teeth or a bad habit! Any advice would be appreciated!

[Lolipop]

It sounds like it began as something like teeth but has now become a bad habit.

When my daughter was a baby we did the following (religiously) :

First, we had a 10 minute rule in our house - we would go into her only if she cried for more then 10 minutes - and only if through those 10 minutes it was a constant screeming cry (not just a snuffling and moaning cry - in which case we would not go into her (although I used to stand by her door very quietly and listen (as worried mummies do)))!!

When we did go into her we would NOT turn on the light and we would NOT give any eye contact at all, we did not talk to her, and if we ever did talk it would be in monotones : "sleep time now, go to sleep" - but tried to avoid talking at all really.

We would check her nappy - if full would take her out and change it - still no lights (not easy but doable).

We used a dummy so if it had fallen out we would put it back in her mouth and walk out. If that did not work we would pick her up and hold her until she stopped crying - as soon as she stopped crying we would put her down straight away and walk out (at the start we would have to do this several times - the key is not to hold baby when she stops crying)

I think it is important to make baby aware, through your actions, that this is not a time for waking up, it is a time for sleeping, and not giving her stimulation helps with this.

Within 2/3 days she would be back to sleeping through.

Consistency has always been key as well - and not giving up - it WILL work, and it is NEVER too late to try ...

Good luck, hope it works out for you poor exhasted parents

[ELT]

Lisa1, we are experiencing the exact same thing. Our baby now 11 months would only sleep in his cot from 8pm till around 12am or 1am when we have to change his heavy nappy and feed him the last bottle for the day, then he would refuse to return to his cot. He would fall asleep in my arms but the second I try to move him towards the cot, he would grab my arm and start crying. If I lay him down, he would immediately sit up crying real hard with his arms stretched out as if he is being abandoned. However hard he cries, as soon as he touches down on our bed, he would calm down, resume his usual sleeping position (tummy down) and fall asleep within 10 seconds. He has been doing this for almost 2 months now.

I agree it is a habit (rather than a need to sleep with mom and dad) and I believe you can break it if you want to -- you just need to be persistent and let her cry a little for a few days. For us, we don't feel too exhaused from this and we actually enjoy having him in our bed (we love to watch him sleep) so we are not taking any action to change this habit. Although, I suspect he might change his pattern after our trip to Canada in October. When we returned from a short trip to Manila a few months back, he changed both his eating and sleeping habit, fortunately in a positive way!

Good luck!

[Lisa1]

Hi - thank you both for the advice... I will definitely try the 10 minute rule and also I know I am partly to blame for picking her up too quickly and then cuddling her for too long (I guess I would scream to be picked up for a cuddle if it was that easy!). I need to be stronger and try a different approach. Will start tonight. Thanks again. She is my 2nd baby and the first wasnt like this at all so it has really foxed me. Just goes to show that no 2 babies are the same.

[AndreaY]

Sounds exactly like what happened to our daughter, also a textbook "Gina" baby whose sleep only became disruptive when she began teething. Then it became a habit and she would wake up 12 midnight or so, start crying for me and I would go and pick her up and have her sleep next to me in the spare bed, so that my husband could get some sleep. We did that for about a month or so, then I became pregnant and decided that this cannot go on forever as it was getting too tiring. We bought the Dr. Ferber book, followed it and after 5 days, she went back to sleeping thru the night again. It was hell for the 1st 2 nights, but I am so thankful that it worked. That was over 4 months ago and she is a much better sleeper now. Incidentally, when my daughter did not sleep thru the night, she had bad lunchtime nap too and would wake after only about 30-45 min. Once the night sleep was sorted out, the afternoon nap sorted itself out too.

[ELT]

Lisa1, did you observe the 10-min rule? How's your girl's sleeping?

For the first time in 2 months, our baby slept through the night in his own cot! Yesterday, my husband and i took him out at around 11 and only came home at 8-ish. He had a nap in the afternoon but he was so busy waving at strangers and crusing in shopping malls that by the end of the day he's all exhausted. We figured he must be so tired he didn't have the engergy to fuss.

Hope this will break his co-sleep habit.

[Lisa1]

Hi - I am very nervous about tempting fate, so wont say too much too soon, but yes, I have followed it since the messages were posted here and touch wood, fingers crossed and everything else, she is sleeping better... cant quite believe it and wont really until it is established for a week or so more I think!!! I am certainly less grumpy though! she still cries sometimes but it doesnt last long and the worst case is a full 10 minutes of crying and then sleep and then a 2nd period of 10 minutes crying and then she will be asleep.... but that thankfully is not every night now (before it was every night and she would not stop until she was in our bed).... plus she is staying in her cot... so amazing result really, but as I say, early days and I really dont want to tempt fate too early!!!!