Helper leaving for vacation!
- 09-29-2007, 03:11 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
- Hong Kong
Hi I never really believe in the helper thing but unfortunately I now realise I will need one very soon. ITs not becoz I think I cant cope with looking after the baby and doing the house work at the same. Its becoz I will need to go back to my full time job soon after I give birth to my first baby. My husband has just set up a business recently and his income is unstable, and it also means I cant give up work either. SO both of us will be going to work during the day, so whose going to look after the baby???
Ah I am so worried, I would really rather to take care of the baby myself (who doesn't?) but we have no choice.
- 10-01-2007, 09:12 AM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Discovery Bay, Hong Kong
I think it's a little sad that parents are dreading their helper going away because it means they will have to look after their baby themsellves....this is something I am trying to understand, but just can't.
I dread my helper going away for different reasons- I hate housework, don't know how to do it, and have no interest in doing it and so when our helper is away the dishes and dirty clothes collect in piles and we eat out a lot!
But to worry about the helper going away because it means 'shock horror,' having to feed your baby yourself, change their nappy, give them a bath, go to them when they wake up in the night, play with them, take them places- that is an alien concept to me.
I can't imagine how a child would feel knowing that Mummy dreads taking care of them when their helper is away!
I am the first to admit that our house without a helper is a pigsty (my husbands words, not mine!) but our son doesn't seem to notice!
Perhaps my opinion is a little harsh but so be it.....a helper is just that, a helper- not a replacement parent!
I know some people think that an attack on people who let their helper raise their baby is an attack on those who work full time but that is not what I am doing- I know plenty of Mothers who work full time, and yet who do everything for their baby when they are at home, and their baby/ies know who Mummy is.
It's sad, I think, when children starting kindergarten, on their first day, cry for their helper and not Mummy; or when they hurt themselves, or are sick, they just want their helper. As a Mum, it would break my heart if my son did that.
- 10-01-2007, 12:52 PM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2005
I guess it all comes down to what you're used to. If you were brought up in a household where Mummy did nothing and the Helper did everything (at least in relation to YOU - the child) then you would probably parent the same way.
Many of us here weren't brought up in these kinds of households - so to think that your entire life would fall apart becasue the helper goes on vacation is just too funny.
1. Hire a part time helper for a few hours a week.
2. Learn to do it yourself - women all over the world do it every day.
It's called a learning curve. (Some of us also call it Parenting.)
There's nothing wrong with having a Helper - many of us have one. But if you're a thoughtful, caring woman and parent, you shuld be able to cope witout oine for a few weeks. Just draw up a plan of what needs to be done and try to be realistic about much cleaning/ironing really needs to be done. Your place may be a mess for a few days, but perhaps you could look at it as a chance to re-connect with your baby.
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