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regarding helpr..at a loss

  1. #9
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    I wouldn't expect a teacher to use a mobile while in class - but I think most mums will say that they do, in fact, use the phone (and the tv, and the computer) and still manage to keep a close eye on what their kids are up to.

  2. #10
    spockey is offline Registered User
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    I guess I'm just not in that circle of mothers who use the phone while caring for bubs. I know from my personal experience, non of the moms I associate with would spend time on the phone fullstop. It's just not a priority for us and not the norm where I'm from. So if there are mums out there who can do so multi-task with media/IT/Telecommunication related objects, great! All of us are different.

    A distinction must be made though for a mother's keen eye and a hired helper's keen eye. Even father's have differences from mums as far as expectations regarding keeping a watchful eye out on our precious bubs.

    Expectations comes with all our jobs. You simply need to set it. And precisely my point HappyV, a teacher is not expected to use the phone in the classroom, and I wouldn't expect my domestic helper to use the phone while caring for my child afterall, she is my hired child care provider.

    Salseros, to each his own. As what is acceptable for you may not be acceptable for others and vice-versa. If you are not comfortable, take the necessary steps for positive change.
    Last edited by spockey; 09-14-2007 at 08:55 PM.

  3. #11
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    I typed this up alredy, and my laptop ate it.......

    There are fathers who are more vigilant than mothers. Ditto for helpers.

    Spockey, to say that our demands are 'different' makes the spectrum of demands invisible. You cannot teach a class whilst on the phone. However, you can be a kind and careing helper and use the phone. Just as you can be a kind and careing helper and cook or clean. It's just a question of when and how much time. I wouldn't have thought that a few minutes on the phone in the playroom was much different than having to leave a child in the living room while you cook your employer's dinner.

    I would have said that a blanket ban was not reasonable - how many of us would think that such a ban was reasonable if it came from our bosses?

    Salseros, If you were otherwise satisfied with your helper's care, would you really consider dismissal over a few phone calls? Especially when the only negative information comes from a neigbour?

    You only have to read these forums to see how many people are unhappy with their helpers - it seems it is hard to find one that satisfies all the requirements. So I would tink very carefully before you fire someone: what you end up with may be even worse.

  4. #12
    sunniefaith is offline Registered User
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    The playground in my estate is front of the gym. There have been numerous times that I've seen helpers are on the phone talking away or chatting with their friends at the playground and kids in their charge fall out the slide or swings. And they are nonchalant about it. Kids get hurt and who is going to be responsible? In other words, if the helper is meant to look after the kids, do the job then!

  5. #13
    salseros is offline Registered User
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    after a while

    I asked more Japanese friends regarding my helper. Actually, all except for one told me that my helper is caring for the kid very good and they never see her using the phone. Therefore, I started to think if my helper was really using the phone.

    Last week, I did not discuss this matter with helper since I got doughtful after listening to other japanese. I just told her just to follow our rules...

    I really appreciate every one of your comments, and I noticed that our thinking is not always the same. I decided to ask as many japanese as possible to watch our kid and helper. Thanks.

  6. #14
    sunniefaith is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by salseros View Post
    I asked more Japanese friends regarding my helper. Actually, all except for one told me that my helper is caring for the kid very good and they never see her using the phone. Therefore, I started to think if my helper was really using the phone.

    Last week, I did not discuss this matter with helper since I got doughtful after listening to other japanese. I just told her just to follow our rules...

    I really appreciate every one of your comments, and I noticed that our thinking is not always the same. I decided to ask as many japanese as possible to watch our kid and helper. Thanks.
    Just remember that, the child is yours and what you think is more important that what others' think. As a mother, you would want your child to be safe and happy and you have the right to ask of that from your helper and if this helper is not going to work, then talk and explain to her or get a new helper. You want the best for your child.

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