[chubbysan]

hi mummies

just need to seek help on how & when you start disciplining your 1.5yr old toddler.......telling them what is right and what is wrong. And when they repeatedly do the wrong things, what will you do?

I am facing this challenge disciplining my toddler, she has very hot temper and whenever i try to tell her when she do wrong, she will either cry v v loudly, or roll on the floor, or throw things. I try to use both soft approach and hitting (like hitting her palm) but all methods don seem to work.

seeking help, thanks!

[spockey]

Hubby and I don't hit our child as we noticed at his playgroup that the kids whose parents/DH hit their child, the child hits other kids. We didn't want our bub to start doing this.
Instead, we have a time-out chair. This doesn't stop the screaming but he understands that he's being punished as he hates the time out chair. He protests vehemently when we try to put him in (it's an old leap frog bouncer without wheels). Otherwise, he gets the evil glare and stern voice from either of us. Sometimes, he gets his name called in a specific tone and his reaction to this is a cheeky grin and he comes and hugs one of us as his way of saying he is sorry.
In general, the screaming doesn't stop. But we've noticed that his understanding of what is right and wrong is increasing and he has become aware of what he should and should not do.So most of the screaming these days come from not being to have what he wants.

[mommy sara]

I've had a lot of luck with standing firm and not caring how much he screams. If an object is the cause of the problem I take it away or remove him from the situation. I give a warning first and since he knows I mean it that usually works. We never hit and have found he doesn't really understand time out. Sometimes he just needs to cry and have a fit and I let him do it and ignore him. In a few minutes when he's calmed himself down the problem is over. Just be consistent.

[chubbysan]

hi mummies,

i know hitting wont help to resolve my problem. But my little toddler is really getting so attached to me that whenever she want me....mean she want me. even when daddy come & hug/carry her, she wont allow it. just cry non-stop till i carry her. i try not to give in to her at times, but she really cried till so badly and she can cry really really long. I just hope as time passed, she will have better understanding and know what is right & what is wrong.

[Linda&Hanley]

Hi Chubbysan,

You may want to have a look at the book entitled 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers' by Tracy Hogg. There is a chapter on conscious discipline, which I myself find quite useful. Below are the 12 ingredients of conscious discipline that Tracy proposes:

1) Know your own boundaries -- and set rules.
2) Look at your own behavior to see what you're teaching your child.
3) Listen to yourself to make sure you are in charge, not your toddler.
4) Whenever possible, plan ahead; avoid difficult settings or circumstances.
5) See the situation through your toddler's eyes.
6) Pick your battles.
7) Offer closed-end choices.
8) Don't be afraid to say "no."
9) Nip undesirable behaviour in the bud.
10) Praise good behavior and correct or ignore bad.
11) Don't rely on coporal punishment.
12) Remember that giving in doesn't equal love.

Linda