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Parents giving up adopted child

  1. #49
    vivianhui is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Hong Kong
    I feel so sad. I can't imagine the trauma the little girl has for being abandoned Twice!

    They are unfit to be parents. I wonder how they explain it to their 2 biological children.

  2. #50
    loupou is offline Baby Guru
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    New Territories
    My take on it...

    They adopted her, thinking it would be OK - but something was wrong w/ them or their parenting - main evidence being that they never settled her citizenship.

    The mention of problems or bonding and the fact that she doesn't speak Dutch makes me wonder if the little girl was somehow neglected or abused. This happens in biological families sometimes, one kid becomes the scapegoat and is abused or neglected while the other kids are basically OK.

    I imagine that the little girl was taken into care for her own good (to stop the neglect).

    So, it's probably all for the best that the little girl is separated from them and will no longer have contact with them.

  3. #51
    Nula is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Press Statement from G.O.A.L

    Global Overseas Adoptees’ Link (G.O.A.’L) is an adoptee-run organization located in Seoul,
    Korea. G.O.A.’L has been working for Korean adoptees and their rights since its establishment
    in March 1998, and is a registered NGO under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade,
    registered non-profit organization with Seoul Metropolitan Government

    Adoptee community condemns relinquishment, demands accountability from Korean,Dutch governments

    December 12, 2007 – The global adoptee community condemns the disruption of an adoption by
    a Dutch diplomat couple. The couple adopted their Korean daughter as an infant in 2000 while
    stationed in South Korea. In 2004 they were transferred to Hong Kong, and in May 2007 they
    relinquished the daughter to Hong Kong social welfare. The girl’s residency is now in question,
    as her parents failed to give her Dutch citizenship. Many adoptees in Korea, the Netherlands and
    worldwide condemn not only the abandonment, but also the laws and practices –- or lack thereof
    – that resulted in such a tragedy. A child is not a returnable product: Adoption is a lifelong
    G.O.A.’L demands a thorough investigation by the Korean and the Dutch governments into this
    case. Many details of the case are still unclear, leading G.O.A.’L to suspect that standard legal
    procedures may have been ignored in this adoption. If it is found that this adoption was indeed
    illegal, the Korean government must pursue all possible measures to punish the wrongdoers
    without regard to “diplomatic immunity.” The results of the investigations must be made public
    and reflected as changes in Korean, Dutch and international laws.
    Global Overseas Adoptees’ Link (G.O.A.’L) is an adoptee-run organization located in Seoul,
    Korea. G.O.A.’L has been working for Korean adoptees and their rights since its establishment
    in March 1998, and is a registered NGO under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade,
    registered non-profit organization with Seoul Metropolitan Government

  4. #52
    jyap is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    hong kong
    I think the parents had the 'bonding' problem, not the child.

  5. #53
    Leeah's mom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    shatin, hongkong

    more shocking news

    After reading this thread, I try to find out as much information as I can. I just found found out that now in the Netherlands the parents are being criticized so much, now they're saying. it's just so disgusting

    " Jade ( that's her name) was having a diffulty in eating The dutch food, so she's just staying there for the temporary."

    But the truth is last may, they already decided to give up her and asked the hongkong government to find her a new home.
    Jade has been living separately from them ever since!

    I can't believe how dare they lie to all people in the world.

    whatever the reasons, they are unforgivable.

    I heard they were quite a few people tried to adopt her, but in hongkong it's very complicated..
    Hongkong goverment consider the new family's wealth, education, relationship with relatives and medical history as well. lots of paperworks and interview.
    THe hongkong government haven't found a suitable family for her yet.

    Also the Korean government is seeking ways to ask legal responsibilies to the dutch parents for just leaving her at the orphange before finding a new family for her.

    I really think that dutch family should be punished.
    I just can't believe myself how those kind of people could live in the world.

  6. #54
    nycschatzi is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Midlevels, HK
    I agree that based on what the press has shared, the family's actions are baffling and heartless.
    However, I would like to ask why noone has brought up the fact that Korean culture does not encourage Koreans to adopt Koreans. Please note that this is NOT the only society that insists on bloodline for family continuity.
    Shouldn't Koreans be addressing the reality of unwanted pregnancies and not expecting that Korean children be adopted by non-Korean nationals? The Korean War has been over for decades, so these children are not the result of intermarriage (another Korean taboo). Korea has actually gone from a position of overpopulation (too high a birthrate) to being below replenishment rate (like Japan, Italy and a few other countries.) Why are the social mores so rigid that they cannot absorb their own foundlings?
    But then again, why is every Korean female under 45 I know married to a non-Korean man (both in HK and the US.)
    Please forgive the digression, but a little food for thought.

  7. #55
    Leeah's mom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    shatin, hongkong


    A long time ago, koreans didn't like the ideas of adopting because of it's traditional culture ( It was that mens should have to have their own blood kids from generation to generation)
    But it has changed dramatically nowadays.
    Many koreans do adopt and even a friend of mine also adopted a child who was already 6 years when she adopted the boy. She lives in Korea and her husband is a korean also. There are so many countless families who adopt.
    Even korean movie stars do a public adoption to encourage the adoption.

    It's not like all unwanted korean babies go to overseas like that.
    I think you have a bit wrong idea.

    the problem of this matter is that that dutch family adopted the girl when they were living in korea. And abandoned her in hongkong while they were living in hongkong. Why did they do that in hongkong. The girl came to hongkong becaure of her foster parents. she has nothing to do here in hongkong.

    Authorities in the hongkong government said
    This girl can't just go back to korea because she doesn't speak any korean. It would be much better to find a new family in hongkong since she is now used to live in hongkong and speaks only English & cantonese.
    Also for her own sake, since she was raised in a western family, her new family will be much better to be non- traditional korean family in case of getting the confusion of culture. Experts said that. So Hongkong Government and Koreans society in hongkong are trying to look for a new suitable family for her.
    There were lots of koreans who wanted to adopt her after hearing the news.

    It's not like no one in KOrea wants her, so she has to find a family in hongkong.

    oh and I want to add one more thing. korea has a very low birth rate nowadays.The government are encourging families to have kids.
    The ones you know who are females under 45 do not represent all
    korean females.
    Last edited by Leeah's mom; 12-14-2007 at 10:46 PM.

  8. #56
    Leeah's mom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    shatin, hongkong


    I thought about this last night.

    My final conclusion is that I can't just blame the dutch parents. what they did is surely a bad thing, but
    the Koreans who abandoned the girl in the first place should be blamed as much as the dutch parents.

    They are the ones who abandonded her and all of them are responsible for this inccident.

    I also heard even koreans adopt children, a majority of children still go to western families. THe korean government also should take an action to prevent other cases like this. Koreans shouldn't just blame the dutch family. The Korean government also has responsibilites.And koreans shouldn't abandon their own child as well.

    But blaming them doesn't help much to help the girl.
    Probably the girl is much better off without the dutch family. I read an article saying the family's ex-nanny handan interview with the newspaper ( I think it was the dutch paper). She said they were treating Jade not as their own daughter. Before adopting the girl, the dutch parents had their own son. And after adopting the girl, a couple of years later, they got their own child agin.

    Let's wish that poor girl doesn't get hurt anymore and hopefully find a new suitable family.

    The dutch newspaper says The dutch family was called to the Netherlands for the investigation.

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