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recommendations with baby 2

  1. #1
    jamesandsimo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    hong kong

    recommendations with baby 2

    i am wondering if those who have 2 kids can give their tips on how they prepared for baby # 2.

    I will be having a second child in august and my son will be nearly 2.

    How did you structure the baby get them on a routine etc

    any tips on practical issues or things you went through would be great.

  2. #2
    KatBoo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Pok Fu Lam
    our 1st was 20 months old when his sisters came along, this is what we learnt....

    - when visitors come, ask them to make a fuss of your older one, ask him to show them his new brother/sister.

    - when your son comes to visit you & baby in hospital ensure that you are not holding the baby, in fact let the baby be in it's crib somewhere away from you. don't force the introduction issue, but let him discover the new baby on his own and then act quite impassive about new baby
    eg "mummy what's that over there"
    "oh that's just your new sister, why don't you tell me about your day"
    chances are he'll be quite keen to discover new baby on his own, but let him do it in his own time, and don't force the issue.

    - put a pic of him in new baby's bassinet, so when he does pay interest to him/her he'll be overjoyed to find him/her looking at his picture.

    - have a gift ready from new baby to him.

    - don't interrupt his routine if you can help it. we found that when we disrupted sacred times (storytime, dinner time, bathtime) he became quite upset. I used to try & feed baby when I was reading a story (thinking I could multitask), but found my son got quite upset, so instead I would have story time with him on my own but had to say "if Tilly cries I'm going to have to go and see her, is that OK".

    As far as routine is concerned, at first I had the girls on a 3 hourly feed routine (sleep in between feeds), and then at about 4 months they went to 4-hourly feeds, and now at 10-months, they are pretty much on the same routine as my son (with an extra sleep for the girls in the morning). They all get up at the same time, eat at the same time, lunchtime nap at the same time. As far as bath/bedtime is concerned, in the beginning I ensured that my son's routine was the same and put the girls down after (only about 15-20 mins after), as they were harder to settle in those early days. Now (girls are 10 months, he's 2.5), they all have dinner together, girls have their bath/story/bed while he watches 10 mins of fave TV with milk, then he has his bath/story/bed after. Girls in bed by 6.45, him in bed by 7 (or shortly after). I found that routines take a bit of tweaking as you go along, but it can work quite well. I guess it depends if you are a fan of routines or not, with twins & a 2 year old, I most definitely am!!

    Hope this helps!

  3. #3
    Sleuth is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Fo Tan
    Wow. How many other's experienced what appears to be "new baby jealousy"?

  4. #4
    AndreaY is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Hong kong
    my girls are 19 months apart and luckily there was no jealousy. I did repeatedly tell my elder daughter whilst I was pregnant that baby was growing inside mummy's tummy and baby sis will come and play with her very soon. She also got to **** baby sis (my tummy) goodnight every night. Dunno whether that did the trick, but she was very excited about baby's arrival and is very loving to her from the start, always wanted to hug and **** her. I also tried to give my elder daughter more attention after the birth, that was not so hard since a newborn mostly just sleeps.

  5. #5
    jamesandsimo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    hong kong
    thanks katboo, this is a great help. Wow twins and a 2.5 year old ! i'll be getting more tips from you thats for sure!

  6. #6
    capital is offline Banned
    Join Date
    May 2004
    I found going from no children to one harder in the sense that your life has changed, now you are a parent, all the changes in your relationship, being overwhelmed, etc.

    From 1 to 2 I really had very little to no baby blues, I was much calmer emotionally, didn't worry so much about baby, but it was harderto get out the door with two, grocerery shopping was harder, and for a LONG time( a year) I felt very guilty about not spending the one on one time with the baby that I did with the first, and guilty about not spending the time with the first that I used to be able to. Also my first child was just two and I found him much harder to deal with that year. So far the most diffuicult year parenting him was the year he was 2 (now 4)

    Practical tips:

    Keep in mind I live in suburban canada with no help from family at all (one side is in HK, the other in a different province) so I pretty much do everything by myself with some limited help from my husband on weekends. My children are 25 months apart.

    Groceries: toddler in the front basket, baby in the carseat snapped on the top of the back of grocery cart. Not the safest, but really only thing I could do. Once the baby out grew the carseat then he went in the basket and the toddler walked, and really it was awlful!!!! He would run off on me, wouldn't listen, was bored, would refuse to walk, etc. Then I would put the baby in a carrier (meio tai style is my favorite) and put the toddler back in the basket. I normally shop once / week, but usually couldn't spend the time to get everything this way, so sometimes went by myself in the evening, or we all went together on the weekend, but I much prefer to shop alone.

    House setup, main floor was 100% childproofed so I could leave the toddler alone unattended with peace of mind. I had real difficulty nursing with thte toddler around because this was his area of jeolousy and he would constantly bug the baby, so I useally nursed baby upstairs in his room while toddler was playing downstairs. In the begining I also kept the playpen downstairs so I had a place to change baby without running upstairs all the time, and a safe place to put the baby down so the toddler wouldn't accidently step on him or roll on him hwile playing when he was tiny.

    I had a double stroller which was a lifesaver as my 2 year old was a runner! He really needed close atttention in public tht year! I don't know how I would have gone our without being able to strap him into a stroller. If I lived in HK and couldn' t use a double stroller I would have probably had to have one of those vest things to keep him tied to me.

    I put the toddler on the side of the car by the sidewalk, and the babseat went on the other side that way I could put the toddler into the car shut the door, put the baby into his side, then go back and strap the toddler in.

    the 2 year old napped still thankfully, but as he outgrew his nap I still kept trying to make him nap for too long (because I needed my alone time!) leading to a few boredom adventures when he was supposed to be napping, poop smeared all over the bedroom once, and once he got into the diaper cream and smeared it everywhere (I couldn't get it out of the carpet), after the poop incident, no more naps. but he still had to have a "quiet time".

    The 2 year old went to bed at 7 or 7:30 pm , and as the baby got older so did he. I didn't have any set routine for the baby, he just went into his own routine as he grew. I fed the baby on demand. I kept him in my own room for the first 5 weeks, and then he went into his own room, My 2 year old in a different room.

    I had my mom stay with me for the first 5 days after he was born, which helped a lot to have meals. I had a 3rd degree tear so I didn't like to move around much for aobut 3 weeks. With my first if I didn't have time to cook it really didn't matter, I'd just have taost or cereal or something. (My husband can fend for himself if need be!) but once you have other chidlren you do have to feed them too! I made double of things before baby was born so I had a lot in the freezer, and often still do this so I have extra and most things I make have leftovers so I have 2 meals out of it.

    The first time I tried to go out by myself I gave up and cried, the second time I got out, ony a short ime, It gets easier. Winter is the worst to stuff kids into snowsuits and then stuff the snowsuit into the carseat straps, anyone from canada can appreciate this! be thankufl you don't have this problem!

    My first very rarely ever saw TV before he was 2, once the new baby came on, I admit he watched a lot more TV!

    When your baby is older it is nice to see how they interact and fight and play together. The fisrt 6 months are hardest in terms of having no time, but then it gets easeir and easier as they get closer to a year. once walking your children will go off and play together for short times.

    Thant is all I can think of for now. Good luck, it may seem overwhlming at first, but gets much easier, even if you have no help.

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