- 04-07-2008, 04:08 PM #9
thanks for all your comments and advices. I know i shud relax, sigh, but it's hard when i seem to be clueless in a lot of things! For eg, Carang, you mentioned "i knew she was screaming because she was hungry". I dont seem to know if mine is screaming due to hunger or not... :(
Yes, she is not drinking actively thru out the entire hour i fed her. But becos she loves comfort sucking, sometimes when i "guess" tat she's hungry and put her to my breast, 5-10mins of active sucking and then she will promptly fall asleep, not the kind of deep sleep that can let me put her down, but light sleep, while nibbling at my breast. Then after some 10mins of nibbling, jus when i tot i shud pull her off, she starts doing some active drinking again, so off and on, this will last for close to an hour. It's CRAZY, i know!
I have always been feeding her only one breast per feeding. I think this stems from my insecurity of "saving" one full breast for the next feeding so she can have enough.
No offense taken, carang. In fact, gratitude for the endless patience and advices u've given. :) And thanks for the compliments for my gal. I jus worry about not being able to BF her till she's at least 12months. Worry about supply, worry that she'll go on hunger strike cos she's not taking the bottle, so if my supply drops drastically, she wont even drink, and yes, worry about my own life cos i'm breastfeeding her for so long, i'm perpetually tied to her 24/7 (contradicting isnt it, i want the best for her, yet i feel i'm losing my own self)
- 04-07-2008, 08:59 PM #10
did you notice that i said i knew she was screaming from hunger AFTER i had changed her nappy, checked to see if she was too hot or too cold and THEN i knew?
every woman has insecurities about whether or not they are a "good" mother, you are no different from the rest of us.
breastfeeding is not like buying vegetables. with supply and demand. it is more demand and supply. if the baby demands it, your body will supply it. it might take a couple of days, but your body is amazing in that it recognises what your baby needs and will supply it. so, you don't need to worry about "saving" the milk in your other breast...
as for the comfort sucking... i could NOT handle a baby at the breast for hours every day, even though i LOVED bf! my girl was a big comfort sucker and still is 14 months down the road. i never thought i would use a pacifier, but it has been a COMPLETE LIFE SAVER. now your baby is old enough that you shouldn't feel guilty for trying to offer one to her. if she takes it, great! (i always worried that my girl was so dependent on it, you would see her with it when she was 4 years old...well, she still uses it, but often refuses it too, thank good ness!)
also, for the nibbling/comfort sucking or falling asleep while at the breast (or even bottle) if you try to take the breast/bottle away, you will find that the baby will start sucking again quickly and hold on to you tighter. this is what i used to do.
i also would just say... "ok, that's just comfort sucking, you've had enough." and i would remove the breast and offer the pacifier. usually, she didn't even notice the difference.
- 04-07-2008, 10:32 PM #11
today was hell, she has been cranky since afternoon and has been crying like she is in pain.
Sidetracked a bit here...i noticed a small whitish colour thing ON her gums. I dont think it's teething, cos it's OUTSIDE the gum, not sprouting inside the gum, so i have no idea wat it is. My mom says it's "malt teeth" in chinese and its supp to be painful and it'll "blow up" in a few days time, something like an ulcer, but i have no idea wat it is. Anyone knows?
Back to the BF, yes, i noticed when i tried pulling it away, she'll hang on tighter and suck harder. But the vicious cycle repeats. I know the demand and supply idea, but i was saving the other breast more on having a full breast for her to "start" on her next feeding, cos as i understand, our breasts are never truly empty, if she latches, there'll be milk BUT the flow will be slow, sigh...unfortunately i have a very impatient feeder so....by giving her a near empty breast, she will be edgy and fussed at my breast more. :(
As for pacifiers, i avoided using it in the early weeks, as in bottles as well, to avoid nipple confusion, when i was still establishing my milk supply. I tot i could give it to her next time in the future. Who knows, now she rejects everything plastic!!! We've tried everything, giving it to her when she cries, when she's calm. halfway there, in a sleepy state, u name it, we tried it! I soooo want to give my breast a break, but now, at night, she ALWAYS need to suck on my breast before going to sleep! When i remove my breast and stick in pacifier, she will open her eyes wide-wide and starts to whimper, shake her head left and right and if i continue to coax her to take the pacifier, the whimper will become a full blown cry!
U see me asking questions here and worrying cos frankly i'm really really tired and wondering if there are ANY ways i can reduce her reliant on me. I love her to bits, but i hope i wont be stoned here by saying, i need some of my life back. She doesnt take bottles as well, so the tot of expressing out and letting my DH do some feeding (who is truly supportive and willing to help) while i sneak out for some "me" time or getting some sleep is out of the question.
I kept telling myself she WILL grow out of it, and well, that's the only consolation i have right now.
- 04-07-2008, 10:37 PM #12
oh yes, i was told sucking on a pacifier and on our nipples requires a diff "set of skills" ie different mechanism. So, dats why babies can tell the diff...whenever i stick the pacifier into her, she doesnt seem to know how to suck it (or is it DONT want to) so i dunno if she's too smart to notice the difference and rejects it or too slow in knowing HOW to suck a pacifier *LOL*
- 04-08-2008, 07:14 AM #13
neither of my children had any problems differentiating between sucking on a bottle/pacifier and sucking at the breast.
i have heard of nipple confusion, but i really question the idea as i believe humans are pretty smart creatures and the survival instinct is fairly strong. i think that a baby can figure out how to get the milk it needs...but that is just my opinion.
- 04-08-2008, 07:15 AM #14
my son rejected the pacifier too, i think he figured there was no milk so there wasn't any point.
we introduced the pacifier to my girl on her 1st day at home.
- 04-08-2008, 10:42 AM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2003
- Hong Kong
I don’t want to criticize you but a sample size of two is not very many. I’ve come across hundreds of babies who have had problems breastfeeding after getting used to drinking from bottles.
Babies learn to suck, drink and coordinate all their muscles and at the same time breathe correctly by practice. Getting milk is the reward the baby has for practicing. So when the baby gets milk, even just a few drops of colostrum, he assumes that he is feeding correctly and continues to suck in that way. If the baby doesn’t get milk he stops practicing and either goes to sleep or cries in frustration.
Before the baby knows exactly how to suck care is needed so that nothing interferes with his learning. This is why we suggest not giving bottles and pacifiers for the first few weeks. Once the baby is confident, however, introducing bottles and pacifies usually doesn’t cause problems.
Nipple confusion is when a baby hasn’t learnt the correct sucking, drinking and breathing technique to draw the milk from the breast into his mouth. If has been estimated that 95% of newborns will encounter nipple confusion to some extent if given bottles in the first three weeks of life.
This doesn’t mean that bottles and pacifiers should never be used but it often prevents problems if you introduce then after four to six weeks.
SARAHLa Leche League Leader
- 04-08-2008, 10:44 AM #16Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
fennho-- about the whitish thing on her gums, look inside her mouth and on her tongue to see if you see more of the white patches. It could be thrush, which is a yeast infection, and babies are in pain when that happens (which could be why your little one is not breastfeeding and is crying so much). You might also check your nipple/areola area if there are any white patches on there also. It may also appear on your baby's genital area.
I'm thinking maybe your baby is having a growth spurt so she is crying, fussy, and doesn't want to feed??
It is recommended to feed on one breast for as long as baby wants. Offer the second breast, but if baby is not interested, then that is fine also. The reason for feeding longer on one breast is so your baby gets your hind milk, which if higher in fat to help your baby grow. The foremilk (the milk at the beginning of a feeding and is watery) is mostly water to satisfy your baby's thirst quickly.
And you are correct. Bottlefeeding and breastfeeding requires a different sucking mechanism for baby. When on the breast, baby needs to use the tongue and jaw to suck to get milk. If baby is full, she will just stop moving her tongue and jaw and can therefore control how much she wants to drink. When on the bottle, gravity just takes place and milk will drip out as long as you turn the bottle upside down. Baby does not need to work as hard but only needs to make sure she swallows on time (sometimes baby cannot swallow in time and chokes). Bottle fed babies also tend to be overfed because they cannot stop even though they had enough. (The sucking mechanism on the breast has been shown to help with baby's oral development).
I hope you and your baby resolves this soon. But you are doing a good job and you have already done the first step in asking for help and suggestions. Good luck to you and your little one.
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