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HELP!!! My 4mth old baby refuses to nap in the afternoon!

  1. #1
    fennho's Avatar
    fennho is offline Registered User
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    Unhappy HELP!!! My 4mth old baby refuses to nap in the afternoon!

    hi mommies
    its me again. I'm all tired out by a new problem my baby give to me. She now refuses to nap longer than 20-30mins. In the past for her daytime naps we'd put her in the sarong swing and rock her to sleep. With continuos rocking she can sleep for about an hour plus or even 2hours. For the past 2 days she refuse to nap longer than 20-30mins even if we contd to rock her she'd wake up crying! I nurse her and she would sleep in my arms so I tried putting her into her cot but she'd wake up immediately! She's obviously tired cos she keeps yawning but even if I put her down for awhile,she'd cry. I'm not sure if it has got anything to do with any of the following:
    1)the cranio-sacral therapy session I brought her to yesterday to make her less tense. The therapist said only a very small number of babies get more unsettled and hv a burst of energy.
    2) could it be 4th mth growth spurt?? But she doesnt look hungry..BUT when I offer her the breast she took of and suckle strongly and then fall asleep in abt 15mins. If I don't offer she seems fine as well and not crying for it..she only cries when I attempt to lay her down for sleep. She seems ok with me carrying her and walkg around the house but occasionally will make some whimper. Hence I'm not sure if she's really wants milk due to an ongoing growth spurt or is she taking the breast when I offer her just for comfort sucking!

    She doesnt even want to lie on the bed with me for some quiet time! I'm so exhausted as I'm the only caregiver.

    Pls help!!!

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    carang's Avatar
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    it sounds like a phase. many babies go through phases for sleeping, eating, waking etc.

    your baby is slowly becoming aware that stuff is happening all around and doesn't want to sleep through it and miss it. (i still have this problem with my 3 year old!) eventually she'll sleep. she has to. it is a human need, like food or water.

    it is difficult if you are the only person caring for her.

    is it possible for you to hire someone part time to come in and give you a hand a few days per week? it sounds like you could really use it.

    hubby and i went last january to a hotel for a night. it was still in hk, but it was so that we could each get one night's uninterrupted sleep.

    it doesn't make you a bad mum to say that you need some help. most of us have it. and if you were at "home" you'd probably have family that would serve the purpose.

    or maybe you could try a baby massage course together? that would be relaxing for both of you.

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    fennho's Avatar
    fennho is offline Registered User
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    hi carang, thanks for the prompt reply. i do have a helper, but she only manages the housework (which is already very thankful for me!!). She's single and have no experience in handling babies esp newborns. At most, she will make funny faces at my gal in an attempt to cheer her up, while i go for a quick washroom visit or shower. Funny how my gal is already having some sort of "separation anxiety" now cos i cant be a step away or she'll start whimpering and if i dont "appear" within the next few seconds, it'll be a full blown cry. In the past, i rely on her afternoon naps to rest and have some "me" time, but now that she's not napping, and even want to nap in my arms, i'm sooooo exhausted. Usually my mom is around to help, but she has gone for a 5days trip currently, and furthermore, my mom doesnt have a HK resident visa, hence, sooner or later, she has to go back to Spore (where we're from).

    Your hotel idea sounds heavenly, i doubt i can do it within the year though cos i'm breastfeeding and my gal rejects the bottle. I know they'll take it sooner or later if i'm not around, but my mom is a nervous wreck when my gal does her loud wailing cries, so my mom has begged me not to leave her alone with baby if it's feeding time. Complicated...i know. :(

    I'm interested in the massage course though...do u have any recommendations? thanks a mil!

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    carang's Avatar
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    when we did the hotel thing, our girl was almost 1 year old. i know it seems far off, but keep it in mind... it was completely rejuvenating. i had a lady come to the room to give me a massage and it was heavenly.

    i didn't realise that you had your mother around. i'm envious! my mum was here in november for 2 weeks and i won't see her again for about 1.5 years....

    i guess the only thing i can say is that 2 days does not a pattern make. i KNOW that you're exhausted. i've been there. just remember that your girl will sleep, but it might take a few more days for her to work out this phase.

    good luck!

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    AG2007 is offline Registered User
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    fenho
    i remember my daughter went thru a phase too when i had to hold her during her day naps. Then i read that babies have a sleep cycle of 45 mins (average). they go thru 3 sleep stages - REM, deep & light sleep. After experimenting a little I found out that my daughter took 20 mins to go into deep sleep and that's when i could put her down and rest my poor arms!!!! it worked but you have to find out how long it takes for your baby to get to deep sleep. you can tell by putting your finger in her hand. if she continues to grab it then she's not in deep sleep yet. When she's in deep sleep her hand muscles will be totally relaxed. Give it a try, you've not nothing to lose but may even gain some rest!!

    I also suggest you look up sleep cycles just to understand it a bit more.

    All the best!

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    LLL_Sarah is offline Registered User
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    A good book which explains all about how babies sleep is Nighttime Parenting by Dr. William Sears.

    It is available at http://www.shopinhk.com/nighttime-pa...-pr-12460.html

    Best wishes,
    SARAH
    La Leche League Leader
    www.lllhk.org

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    fennho's Avatar
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    Hi AG2007
    Thanks...will try that out...i have heard of the "arm test" though...of how u lift the baby's arms and if it fell floppily back without resistance, she's supp to be in deep sleep...somehow or rather, my gal is such a light sleeper that even if she's oredi in deep sleep mode and i put her down, she'll go snap back into REM or worse, wakefulness once i put her down. Sigh

    Sarah
    thanks again. I have heard of the book, but i understand Dr Sears Nightime Parenting is into co-sleeping. Altho my baby sleeps with me in the same room, she sleeps in her own cot. So i'm not sure if this book will be applicable to my situation. Dont wish to waste the $$$ if it's not. :(

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    LLL_Sarah is offline Registered User
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    Although Dr. Sears is a supporter of co-sleeping the book is not directed at only co-sleepers. I like it because it explains how baby sleep is different to adult sleep and understanding this gives us more realistic expectations of our little ones. In the American culture, where Dr. Sears is from, co-sleeping is so frowned upon and most people think it is dangerous. This isn’t the case but it also isn’t for everyone. If you don’t want to spend the money buying the book, what about borrowing it from a library?

    Many mothers find feeding the baby in a double bed and then rolling away a good way to cope with a baby that wakes up easily when moved. This way the baby doesn’t get disturbed because you don’t move her. You can place pillows around the baby to stop her rolling about as she wakes up. Or if the baby is really mobile you can feed them to sleep on a mattress on the floor.

    Best wishes,
    SARAH
    La Leche League Leader
    www.lllhk.org

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