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accident

  1. #17
    cemily is offline Registered User
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    It is definitely a safety issue, not of what happened, but what may happen in the future. Personally, I would not feel safe to leave my little one with such a helper. Not even when I am in the house, let alone leaving the little one in the helper's care while I am at work.

    rgds

  2. #18
    geomum is offline Registered User
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    If I were you I would ask her to pack her bags and leave after coming back to Hong Kong. If she loved or cared for your daughter even a little bit she would be concerned as to why she was crying during/ after the hand washing and worried sick at the hospital after knowing how much pain she had caused to her. She didn't seem to care what happened to the little one and how distraught you and your husband were. Her attitude reflects her thinking that you are over exaggerating the whole thing (Which by no means you are). I would not employ anyone who does not love or care about my child and that too after spending one year with them, seeing them grow. I am concerned when my 4 month old scratches her face accidently, a second degree burn due to someone else?s negligence would make me hysterical. I also think you are being too nice to her, maybe more than what she deserves right now. Hope your darling daughter recovers soon. Take care.

  3. #19
    mintycat is offline Registered User
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    Actually I do not trust her anymore. She told my other helper as well as my mother's maid that what happened was a minor thing in her eyes because she sees it happen in the Philippines all the time and that she does not understand what our fuss is all about. She even complained to them about having to accompany us to the doctor to change the dressing every 2-3 days! Thus she really has NO remorse and her attitude towards me right after the incident was not out of guilt as HappyV suggested but a sign that she just cannot accept responsibility.

  4. #20
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    Then it's also a question of ignorance (in regards to the comparison between HK and the Philippines).

    I understand your feelings. I also still think that her reaction of one born of ignorance, gulit and fear: not becuase she is innately a horrible or uncaring person. If she was, you would have seen it in the past year she worked for you.

    Perhaps if you sit and explain your feelings and thoughts through with her, she has the chance to understand more about where you are coming from. If it is done in a context of 'this is where we need to go now as emplyer/emplyee' rather than talking about who has to give who how much notice, it creates a more sympathetic environment for you both. That way, she gains skill, you gain a more responsible helper, and you don't have to fire her.

    I'm not negating the seriousness of what happened - but if you fire her, you have to be sure that what you'll end up with is better.

  5. #21
    spockey is offline Registered User
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    Just so you know, given that there is proof of negligence, you can terminate her without notice i.e. with immediate effect. And you will definitely find someone better! Finding the right DH is a matter of trial and error and patience. Keep trying, keep looking until you find someone suitable.

    Putting a kid's hand under hot running water until it blisters is NOT ignorance. Just plain old negligence in executing care of duty. Thinking that it is a minor incident may perhaps constitute ignorance. But come on! She must have realised that the standards/expectations of child care in Hong Kong and the Philippines are VERY different. Should have already been covered in her training. Besides, all you have to do is look around.

    Given the trust and safety issues brought up via this incident, I'd rather start over with another helper.

    BTW... I hope mum and daughter are doing much better
    Last edited by spockey; 07-16-2008 at 04:37 PM.

  6. #22
    mintycat is offline Registered User
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    I think her reaction was born out of fear and ignorance but not guilt. Even my other maid and my mom's maid do not think she feels guilty at all. No, I don't think she is a horrible and uncaring person, just someone who does not accept responsibility for doing something wrong. Now that I think about it, in the past, whenever I pointed out something to her, the first thing she always did is to point the finger. Even my mother noticed this in the 10 days we have been here. That it was not her who did it, but the other maid. She just does not want to be told she is wrong. I pretty much ignored this in the past. My other maid had a problem with this before and was mad at her for a few days as a result.

    I am pretty sure who I end up with will be better because anyone who does not cause this type of injury to a 13 month old baby is better in my eyes. Even if something happens, I think most people would show more remorse and guilt than she has.

  7. #23
    shaz is offline Banned
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    Oh dear, sorry to read that, i hope your lil girl is healing nicely.

    i can totally understand the frustration you are feeling right now.

    it bugs me too when people think that the helpers can do no wrong, i have had so many bad helpers i have lost count, you treat them equally etc. and yet they can mess u around or give attitude, it is beyond me. i have fired yet another helper for havin attitude when i simply ask her to do something for me i get a black face and no acknowledgement of my request...anyway that's my problem but a lot of these helpers are plain wicked!!!!

  8. #24
    shaz is offline Banned
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    can u tell im havin a bad day!!!!!

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