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Help! My 20 mth & 3.5 yo wont stop fighting!

  1. #1
    mel_g20 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Stanley, Hong Kong
    Posts
    159

    Help! My 20 mth & 3.5 yo wont stop fighting!

    Any advice from parents who have had the same problem would be much appreciated.

    I have 2 children, a boy 3.5 years and 20 month old girl, and they just dont get on. I am at the end of my tether and my patience, and at a loss how to reduce the fighting and crying that feels like it goes on every minute they spend together.

    I am told it is normal, but there must be some way of reducing the tension. My 20 month old loves her brother, however constantly wants what he has to play with. She is tough and fights to get him off it. So he fights back and it simply ends in lots of tears and shouting. She also likes to hug him, but usually this is more like a rugby tackle, and again my son hates it and pushes back and again it ends in tears.

    My son is quite tolerant of other older kids, but not his sister. He hates to share with her.

    In addition they also both fight over me, if I am giving one a hug on my knee, the other will come over straight away and fight for my attention. Crying and trying to push the other off.

    Apart they are quite nice contented children, together just an impossible combination.

    I now try to buy two of everything. My son has some toys that he only plays with when his sister is a asleep.
    And I try and ensure that I let both get hugs at the same time. They have one knee each, although there is not much room. We try and go out as much as possible to keep them busy and running off energy, but this is not always possible, especially with all the rain.

    My husband thinks that I should just keep them apart as much as possible during the day, but that doesnt seem right.

    What do I do? Does anyone have any advice on how to reduce the fighting, even just a little?

  2. #2
    Smiles is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Happy Valley
    Posts
    193
    I'm afraid I can't give you any advice to solve the issue but I know you are not alone!
    My brother has two boys the same ages as your children and they too have really battled to control fighting. I know it got to the point where they couldn't leave them alone in a room without someone to watch them...I think their version of fighting included some biting!!!

  3. #3
    mel_g20 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Stanley, Hong Kong
    Posts
    159
    Hi smiles, It feels goodto know other siblings dont get on to. My daughter sometimes resorts to biting too. But she goes straight into the corner for that, and it has reduced alot. I also find it hard to leave them alone together very long.

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