[ayzeng]

thank you for all the replies!

yes i swaddle him, it helps but he still requires holding, otherwise he won't fall asleep or play on his own for long.

[barbwong_130]

I think that maybe your expectations are a little off.
Just thirty seconds is a long time for a one month old by himself.

[geomum]

Ayzeng I hope this article is of some help
http://www.babycenter.com/0_seven-re...e-them_9790.bc

[ayzeng]

The article helps, thank you! I've read others similar, but this one is more comprehensive.

Honestly I'm relieved to get advice to pick up the baby rather than not to. I posted this thread b/c three separate friends told us that we were "spoiling" the baby and that "one month is STILL trainable", and that their babies don't require holding much. I was worried that we were spoiling our little one. Your replies help to clarify things. Every baby is different.

[carang]

iam of the firm belief that you CANNOT spoil a newborn baby!

[mosmom]

my 'baby' is 12 months old and i always pick her up when she's unhappy (doesn't have to get to the crying level). crying is STILL the way she can tell me that she needs me, and that some action is required! and she's not spoiled.
it may also sound a bit romantic, but i think holding your baby is an essential part of being a mother. i could never leave a helpless little one crying in the crib for one minute :(
i don't understand what kind of advice 'friends' can give, too.
anyway, sorry, this is just one topic i get carried away...

[mel_g20]

The time with a new baby is precious, and before you know it they grow up into toddlers. Enjoy the time you can spend nursing and holding your tiny newborn, it will do them no harm enjoying the comfort and warmth of their mum, and its a wonderful time for you too. When my second baby came along, I didnt get the chance to cuddle her and hold her as much as the first which was a real shame, but an unfortunate reality when you have more than one. I am sure your friends mean well, but go with your heart and instinct.

[NYCMel]

PICK UP! A newborn needs LOVE, LOVE, and MORE LOVE. The baby is much too young to be crying it down. Newborns definitely need skin to skin with you as well.

My son is 7 months old and I still pick up when he sometimes cries and he just needs a cuddle. My son hated being swaddled so we did it for about a two weeks and then just found other ways to make him feel safe and secure.