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I need help

  1. #1
    adahc's Avatar
    adahc is offline Registered User
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    I need help

    Ok I have to confess, I rock and arry my baby to sleep both day and night since birth, sometime nurse him to sleep.
    He begins to be too heavy to carry now as he is 8kg. and just turn 7 months.
    I put him to sleep by just put him down and left thr room with his usual nursery songs on. He started to sit up and cry as in scream. I waited for half a minute then went in. Even when I picked him up he still cries like hell for a very long time, cried as in scream which he never done before.
    Now what do you do? should I wait for him to be a little older and talk him out of it? I can not bare to hear him cry like that again though, please don't tell me to tough it out.
    What tips or tricks do you use?

  2. #2
    ckchan2000 is offline Registered User
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    Hi - maybe I can help

    Hi adahc,

    I totally understand your situation. We went through the same kind of problems. We were in Ireland at the time, I think my baby was 4 months old, when she started sleep in her own room. We would hold her and then eventually she would fall asleep on our arms, and then we would put her into the cot, but the minute we did that, she would cried and sit up. So it could take hours before she goes to bed. I went to my community nurse for serious help because at that stage, I was too tired and of course "no life" at all.
    The nurse gave out to me for being a typical first time mother, and said "you have to leave her in the cot, let her cry, initially let her cry for 25 minutes, and then go in and sothe her, but do not take her out of the cot, then she will quiet down a bit, and then leave her again, and of course, she will do it again, cried and cried, and at this stage, she is totally wet with tears and sweats." Unless they are totally persistance, after the second time, they will fall asleep themselves. You will have to do it for 3 days, after the third day, they won't really bother with the crying, maybe a few minutes, and then they won't even bother, cause they know you won't bent the rules. It is tough initially but life is much better after. It is better for you and her/him in the long run.

    My daughter is 16 months old, she is still a little bit like that but it doesn't help when the grandparents are around spoiling her, and because both my husband and I are working, we do hold her to bed a little longer than we supposed to. But usually she goes to bed within 25 minutes. I usually give her some milk, her dummy, and massages her arm to her tummy gently, she usually falls asleep then.

    I have friends who didn't do that, and they are now 3 years old, they are still sleeping in the same room as the parents and required soothing!

    I know it is very stressful, I am not sure do you have any maid or relations to help out, but if you want to just talk to someone, pm me, I will give you a ring.
    You are not the other one in that boat, but you have to do something about it.

    Take care
    Cecilia

  3. #3
    geomum is offline Registered User
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    My daughter is 5 months old and weighs 9+ kgs. I have always rocked her to sleep since birth. I cherish watching her go to sleep slowly, cuddled in my arms. Many a times during her short naps (15- 20 mins) I hold her the entire time only because I want to. I would NEVER have the heart to see/ hear my baby cry her heart out just because life will be easier for me. I suggest:
    Keep changing positions while rocking him so that his weight keeps getting shifted.
    Decrease the rocking time by a few minutes every week.
    Don't leave the room once your baby goes to sleep, lie next time him for a while untill he goes into deep sleep.
    Before his night time sleep give him a warm shower, he will sleep more easily.
    As for me I will rock my daughter to sleep untill she is old enough so that I can talk her out of it.

  4. #4
    adahc's Avatar
    adahc is offline Registered User
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    Thank you you all. I need to decide what I will do. ckchan2000, thank you for understanding and your kind offer. i just moved to Shanghai (but still using this site as the site in Shanghai is not as good) so I'm not sure if it is because of the strange place and I don't want to put her through a tough and lonely time but I do realise things need to be done...just don't know how to do it smoothly.
    Geomum and MayC, Thank you It's really reassuring that there's someone out there doing the same. I was with him when I pu him down to sleep and pat him but he got up!!! what do I do then?

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    fennho's Avatar
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    hi adahc

    HUGZ. Dont be disheartened. Personally i also dont ever wish to let my gal CIO. Trust your maternal instincts. Have u read the Pantley's book i recommended? M gal now can be pat to sleep even aft i remove my breast. She will turn her head left & right and goes to sleep. Sometimes, when she startled herself awake at night and cry, we'd rush in, hush her, pat her thigh (in a rhythmic way), hold her tiny hands and she'd go back to sleep. Sometimes this wont work, and i'd pick her up and nurse her again cos i reckon she needs more comforting. But now, for us, when i nurse her to sleep at 7-ish, i'd still put her into the cot for her sleep. For her first waking in the night, we'd pick her up and bring her to our bed and i'd nurse her lying down. After much active sucking and she slows down, i'd remove my breast and she would go to sleep with no prob. Have u tried co-sleeping? Maybe ur boy getting hit by early separation anxiety (which i read is worse at night) which is common for BF babies. Hope this helps.

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    adahc's Avatar
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    Thanks I ordered the book and awiting for it.
    I justed try to nurse him lying down too yesterday which works, don't kow for how long though. Good that you can put your baby down and just pad her. I need to read that book soon.
    Does she still sleep through the night?

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    fennho's Avatar
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    nah...chk out my thread tat I've jus posted. I'm actually ok with it...jus tat I'm worried im doing smething wrong ie shud be feedng more or let her take shorter naps. Anyway, its good ur trying co sleeping as long as ur hubby is also agreeable to the arrangement. But do be consistent. Do not hesitate and then when u hear some mommies hv success in CIO methods, u suddenly decide to chg and let him cry...cos my fren did tat...she was very indecisive and kept changing her mind. She'd listen to some and follow. Cannot makeup her mind if she wans to CIO or co sleep. Her poor baby ends up cant settle down cos two weeks of loving cosy feelings in mommy's arms then the next week being "abandoned" in the cot in a room of his own becos the mommy scared he will never be sleep trained as cautioned by her colleagues!

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    bekyboo44 is offline Registered User
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    Hi- at seven months my son wouldn't go to sleep by himself and had to be rocked and rocked to sleep.

    So many people told me to leave him to cry himself to sleep- we tried it once or twice but he would just cry, and cry for hours and be no closer to sleeping at the end of it.
    In the end we just couldn't do it anymore, it wasn't working and it was heartbreaking to do.

    What eventually helped our son sleep on his own was a dummy and a blankie and by 12 months old it was possible to put him to sleep in his cot with his dummy and blankie and he would fall asleep my himself. This also coincided with him weaning himself from breastfeeding, which is also when he started sleeping through the night! Something he never did until he wasn't breastfed anymore.

    However now he's 21 months old and has a new baby sister and since she was born he has to have myself or my husband lie with him until he sleeps!

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