Eating Peanuts during Pregancy - the concerned daddy
- 08-25-2008, 10:26 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Hong Kong
I would never call you a bitch, but I did call your post bitchy. I believe it was. I think sometimes mothers forget that fathers are sleep deprived too, but on a forum such as this I would not expect any objectivity in that respect.
What irks me is that your information is plainly wrong. I would hate for this post to be used a reference for expecting mothers with any form of allergy.
I certainly sympathize with my wife but if wanting her not to harm my unborn child with her actions is 'treating her like a child' - then that is simply my DUTY. I'm not sure how other fathers approach this but I could care less. If she was smoking, drinking, chomping on blue cheese, my reaction would be exactly the same. I have never imposed any guidelines or 'set rules' with my wife, but removing my right to question decisions is downright ignorant.
Please never assume you know everything about everything.
I'm sure a few posters in their sleep deprived state would come out and say 'hey you're really annoying, i smoked through my entire pregnancy and my baby is fine, leave your wife alone'.
The logic still applies. If there is any truth to the information in those links, my wife should be staying away from peanuts as much as possible (satay sauce notwithstanding! yum!) for the next 60-90 days. The question remains, is there any truth in those links?
- 08-25-2008, 10:49 AM #10Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Hong Kong
I am not a doctor but I can tell you my own experience...
I am 5 months pregnant and since the beginning I couldn't eat anything else rather than nuts and peanunts.
We were concerned as well so we discuss it with our doctor and he told us that actually the real problem of peanuts is when you breastfeed rather than when you are pregnant (same as for strawberries)
So he gave us green light but also said eat everything in moderation!
Let me also say that I do not suffer of any allergies...
Anyway probably the best is to give your wife's doctor a call and share with him your worries.
- 08-25-2008, 10:51 AM #11Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Discovery Bay, Hong Kong
I think the only person who can answer your question is a Doctor. We are just a bunch of sleep deprived mothers, what do we know?
What we do know is based on our own experiences- I ate peanuts throughout both my pregnancies and so far no evidence of nut allergies in my kids. However I come from a family with a history of no allergies whatsoever.
I don't think any of us assume to know everything about everything- what we assume to know is based on what we have experienced with our babies and children.
Only a Doctor, or an allergy specialist can tell you what risk is posed to your child by your wife eating peanuts. I'm guessing also that your wife, won't listen to you, but may listen to a Doctor.
Personally I think you are looking in the wrong place for the info. you want.
Personally, also, I've found your posts slightly patronising (but then again I am another sleep deprived Mother).
Yes you have a right to be concerned but your wife is an adult, what she puts into her body is ultimately her choice....if she has the info. and knows she may or may not be putting your child at risk, I'm not sure what you can do about it. Forcefully stop her eating peanuts????
I think when it comes to posts concerning medical info. most Mothers would seek an opinion from a doctor- the post is just a discussion point.
I also think your labeling of posts as 'bitchy,' to be out of order. But I guess we all respond to that label differently.
- 08-25-2008, 10:51 AM #12
I do think that husbands and wives need to work together and listen to each others concerns and all that... I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and my husband is a bit more "cautious" than me - and so we've talked about things that he would prefer me to not do when I'm pregnant and I try to respect that, even though I would feel find doing it myself. He asked me not to climb on ladders for example - and while I think I could do so safely, I figure it won't hurt me NOT to do that - and it would be hard for me to forgive myself if I didn't agree and then the unthinkable DID happen...
There are always risks with pregnancy - and you can't listen to EVERY "maybe" and "possibly" - because even those things vary so widely... For westerners, sharks fin might be bad but mango is ok - but for Chinese, it's probably the other way around. You and your wife need to TOGETHER try to make educated decisions on those issues - look around on the internet, talk to your doctor, talk about the possibility of maybe avoiding something for the first trimester but then "allowing" it for the second and third or something like that...
For me, sushi was one of those things that I didn't want to give up. I researched the reasons why it's "not allowed" in Western countries, the risks against the benefits... and in the case of sushi, the main risk is about contamination through improper handling and storage... so my husband and I talked about it and I agreed to not eat ANY in the first trimester - but then in the second and third trimester, I have been eating it occasionally - but only in places where I know it's good quality and so I'm minimising the possible risks.
- 08-25-2008, 11:22 AM #13Banned
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Mid Levels, Hong Kong
I am a father too and I agree with u being concerned about your child's health. Cannot help u with the allergy but would suggest u to get your wife do an allergy test to find out what she is allergic to and talk to her Dr before and explain to him your doubts and then your doctor can speak to your wife. If u speak to the DR infront of your Wife that will lead to some more fights.
Best of luck
- 08-25-2008, 12:33 PM #14
if pregnant women listened to every single "do not eat" when pregnant, there would be VERY little out there that we COULD eat!
sushi in japan is not "bad" but elsewhere it is...just as an example.
i do think that you are somewhat over-reacting.
you can find information to support ANY argument you want to make on the internet.
- 08-25-2008, 12:37 PM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- DB, Hong Kong
its hard isn't it....for every argument against, there is one for in pregnancy...i was told by my doctors that it was fine for me to eat peanuts during pregnancy because i didn't have an allergy to them. allergies are more often than not hereditary. if you first establish what your wife's allergy is, maybe then you are half-way there. pregnancy hormones are harsh for some women - they can really rattle you and can really make you react in ways you may otherwise not. i suggest with every "suggestion" you make to your wife, you perhaps interject with "sweetheart i know you know what you're doing but can you tell me about a,b or c, so that i know too. i just really want to be involved"...or some other way that you know your wife will respond to.
i too ate sushi through my pregnancies, every so often, i also ate prawns, oysters as well. i read every risk that was associated with it first, weighed it all up and made decision carefully about where i bought products from. that was my decision. i know women who won't exit their vehicle at gas stations for fear the fumes will affect their unborn child. i know women who won't get the hair dyed. i know women who think having one or two drinks through pregnancy is ok. i know women who think having a low-tar cigarette every now and again is ok. its really hard not to judge every little thing. even though you are trying to get pregnant, having everything thrust upon you with that one little positive test is overwhelming. at the end of the day you know your wife wants a healthy baby at the end of this journey as well and i'm sure she has done as much, if not more, research and you will come out of this together, if you work together. wait til the baby comes and both of you are really really tired....lol...good luck...
- 08-25-2008, 02:52 PM #16Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Stanley, Hong Kong
This forum I believe is for both mums AND dads to ask questions about their children and new to be babies, plus everything that goes with it. I think it was fair to ask your question, and very honest of you to tell us about the sensitive discussion you are having with your wife.
I have a child just diagnosed with a peanut allergy, and no history of allergies in my family. However I ate alot of peanuts in my first pregnancy. I have read that this could have been caused by me consuming peanuts whilst pregnant. If I could go back I would probably not have eaten them, now i know, and I would have definitely have checked with my doctor. Just my opinion, and I know other mums will feel quite different.
Food is a very touchy subject when pregnant, a doctor is best advised to help you. Good luck with the new baby.
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