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Eating Peanuts during Pregancy - the concerned daddy

  1. #17
    LeahH is offline Registered User
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    Wow, you really like to make life hard for yourself..

    Simply find out from a medial professional specialising in allergies IF peanuts are an issue in your wife's specific situation.

    As many have said in the above threads, there are a huge number of cultural and nation specific 'must not' eat foods, some based on medical evidence and others simply on tradition.

    In most cases where there is a degree of known risk (let's say blue cheese and listeria) most women make a judgement call based on the medical evidence. You don't have a 'known' risk - just a possible or perceived risk that could effect some people, nor do you have investigation into your wife's existing allergies. 'Smoking, drinking and chomping on blue cheese' are well documented, medically proven risks that pertain to everyone who is pregnant so your reference is not logical.

    Internet research is all well and good, but not a replacement for a medical degree - especially in sensitive situations such as this -e.g. involving the woman you love going through one of the most highly charged, hormonal, emotional, physically and mentally demanding phases in her life.

    Frankly, you are entitled to ask questions and be concerned for your unborn child, but if my husband posted something similar to this I would be horrified.

  2. #18
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    If MY husband posted something like this, I would probably stop and think "He really is VERY concerned about this. Is it worth it for me to put him through all that?? Is it really THAT big of a sacrifice for me to make??"

    Our husbands are the fathers of our children just as much as we are the mothers - and while we're the ones who carry the children, why SHOULDN'T the husband's fears and concerns be addressed just as much as our own?? He can't control what we do when we're pregnant, but surely he should have SOME say in it too!!

    There are soooooo many grey areas - but really, is it THAT much of a sacrifice to make those choices TOGETHER, respecting each others fears and concerns?? I don't think it's "fair" for the mother to get to make all the choices herself without caring about her husband's feelings.

    If my husband posted something like this, I might be a bit annoyed - but it really would make me stop and think that I really haven't respected HIS feelings, and HIS fears about his own child...

    Just another perspective...


    (and I'm not "shouting" when I use all caps - I'm just too lazy to make them all italics for emphasis...)
    Last edited by nicolejoy; 08-25-2008 at 04:39 PM.

  3. #19
    capital is offline Banned
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    The nutritionists where I work (they make recommendations for pregnant women and infants/ preschool children) say that a woman should avoid a food if she herself has the allergy to that specific food. there is a family disposition to allergies, but not necesarily the same allergen. so if mom was allergic to peanuts, then baby does have an increased risk of allergies in general, but it may or may not be peanuts that the child is allergic to, it may possibly be peanuts, but it could be milk, or fish, or nothing, or something entirely different. So for your case if mom is allergic to dust pollen, etc, your child may have a higher risk of allergy, but you can't possibly predict what it will be, and because getting good nutirion is important in pregnancy, it would be hard to cut out every single possible allergy causing food and maintain good nutrition, hence the recommendation to avoid what mom herself is allergic to only. Hope this makes sense, if I find a good link I'll post it.

  4. #20
    capital is offline Banned
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    I found the link,

    These are the Canada National guidleines for nutrition in pregnancy and they base their recommendations on the current liturature. If you look under the part on medical conditions there is a seciton about fetal sensitiation that discusses this allergy issue. They also have all their sources listed if you want to search those as well, hopes this helps.

    http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/nutriti...les_tm-eng.php

  5. #21
    jojo72 is offline Registered User
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    What was the situation with your first child?
    Did your wife eat peanuts during her first pregnancy?
    Does your first child have any allergies?

    I'm suprised that you consider eating peanuts once a month "large quantities". Maybe for your unborn babies sake you should relax a little.
    Stress for the mother may be harming your child more than anything.

  6. #22
    charlatan is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by tigerlily
    Good luck
    Thanks tigerlily 


    Quote Originally Posted by bekyboo44
    I also think your labeling of posts as 'bitchy,' to be out of order. But I guess we all respond to that label differently.
    Perhaps in ?bitchy? my choice of adjective was poor, might you suggest an alternative? To help, here?s the context; I am a new and concerned participant on this forum. I posted a question with genuine worry at a time when a conversation with a doctor was not possible, and received this reply : ?I don't even know you and your post annoyed me.?

    Considering this is a forum where users can CHOOSE not to post or read, I arrived at ?Bitchy? as a suitable description of the post. Just consider that one could respond to every single post on this board with ?I don?t even know you and your post annoyed me? ? and in my opinion doing so is just bitchy. Feel free to show me the light.

    Quote Originally Posted by bekyboo44

    We are just a bunch of sleep deprived mothers, what do we know?....... Personally, also, I've found your posts slightly patronising (but then again I am another sleep deprived Mother).
    Please understand that I did not introduce the issue of sleep deprivation into this thread. While it may not be your intention, your post seems to indicate just that.

    Quote Originally Posted by nicolejoy

    I do think that husbands and wives need to work together and listen to each others concerns and all that... I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and my husband is a bit more "cautious" than me - and so we've talked about things that he would prefer me to not do when I'm pregnant and I try to respect that
    I really do believe this is the way to a wonderful marriage and am really happy you chose to join this thread. My wife and I have the same arrangement, but of course from time to time we do disagree about things that are assumed and perhaps not clarified, as happened with the peanut issue.

    Of course the whole ?argument? is over now. My wife and I have agreed together that it is not worth the potential risk to our child to eat peanuts. They?re peanuts, who cares?

    Quote Originally Posted by nicolejoy

    For me, sushi was one of those things that I didn't want to give up ?????..but then in the second and third trimester, I have been eating it occasionally - but only in places where I know it's good quality and so I'm minimising the possible risks.
    We had a similar discussion but decided to go the other way. Perhaps if this was Japan instead of HK it would have been different. Could you perhaps let us know which places you consider ?good quality??

    Quote Originally Posted by neha

    If u speak to the DR infront of your Wife that will lead to some more fights.
    Thanks neha. Actually my wife would have no problem with that. What we had was hardly a fight, let me explain:

    Me: <grabs some peanuts>
    Her: hey gimme some
    Me: are you supposed to be eating these?
    Her: well I have been eating them, whats the big deal?
    Me: I thought they could give baby allergies and stuff
    Her: I ate them at <1st babies> time and she?s fine
    Me: yeah but that could just be luck, shouldn?t we err on the side of caution, just in case?
    Her: I don?t wanna talk about this anymore
    Me: <takes the peanuts away> - <posts on geobaby>

    We talked it out and like nicolejoy said, she is great enough to respect the fact that husbands should have a say too. I know this forum has its fair share of militant ?this is my body? mothers, and good luck to them. Personally, these deals work both ways, which is why I don?t skydive, smoke (anymore), or drink the water in Mexico ? amongst many other things. I have a responsibility to my wife and kids, and my wife has EQUAL responsibility to her husband and kids. Pretty fair I think. The less enlightened may find it annoying, YMMV 


    Quote Originally Posted by mel_g20

    I have a child just diagnosed with a peanut allergy, and no history of allergies in my family. However I ate alot of peanuts in my first pregnancy.
    Really sorry to hear that. I do hope he/she outgrows it. Thank you for your kind words, I need all the positive vibes I can get in this sea of hostility. God bless your little one.


    Quote Originally Posted by leahH
    Wow, you really like to make life hard for yourself..

    Simply find out from a medial professional specialising in allergies IF peanuts are an issue in your wife's specific situation.
    I posted past 11pm on Sunday night. I spoke to a doctor this morning. I was posting in the hope that someone could reply with specific and definitive information. It is now obvious that such information does not exist. I was attempting to make life easier for myself, in no way was I expecting to make my life any harder.

    Quote Originally Posted by leahH

    In most cases where there is a degree of known risk (let's say blue cheese and listeria) most women make a judgement call based on the medical evidence
    I think the key word here is ?women?. In our case, we make judgment calls as a couple.

    Quote Originally Posted by leahH

    You don't have a 'known' risk - just a possible or perceived risk that could effect some people, nor do you have investigation into your wife's existing allergies.
    I think this is the first time in this thread that someone has categorically stated that there is no known risk to unborn babies for mothers to eat peanuts. However, our doctor says otherwise.

    Please do not assume we ?do not have investigation into <my> wifes existing allergies?. We have investigation, we do not have RESULT. It is an unknown. In my opinion that is not a license to throw caution to the wind, it is quite the opposite.

    This morning our doctor and an allergy specialist (who conducted the last series of tests) separately confirmed that in the case of peanuts it would be better to stay away from them. Both of them indicated that we did not have to hunt out ?peanut content? on menus and in grocery stores, but eating plain peanuts ?straight up? could wait for a few months. This was advise given in light of my wifes current allergies to entities unknown.

    Quote Originally Posted by leahH
    Internet research is all well and good, but not a replacement for a medical degree - especially in sensitive situations such as this -e.g. involving the woman you love going through one of the most highly charged, hormonal, emotional, physically and mentally demanding phases in her life.

    Frankly, you are entitled to ask questions and be concerned for your unborn child, but if my husband posted something similar to this I would be horrified.
    I have said before and I will say again, I have a lot of sympathy and respect for the condition. I also do not expect any objectivity in this forum. However, I am compelled to state simply that there is NO EXCUSE for taking risks with unborn children. No matter how hormonal or ?sleep deprived? one is, these are not excuses for poor decision making.

    I would think it a huge failure on MY part, given my wifes condition, to not make sure the I?s were dotted and t?s were crossed.

    I understand that all marriages are different. But for one to be ?horrified? for one?s husband to voice concern over decisions one has made in one?s ?highly charged, hormonal, emotional?..? state ? well that makes a lot of sense. Nobody likes to be second guessed, but when there is a third person involved, we all have to do it, including fathers.

  7. #23
    charlatan is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by jojo72 View Post
    What was the situation with your first child?
    Did your wife eat peanuts during her first pregnancy?
    Does your first child have any allergies?

    I'm suprised that you consider eating peanuts once a month "large quantities". Maybe for your unborn babies sake you should relax a little.
    Stress for the mother may be harming your child more than anything.
    My wife ate peanuts in limited quantities during our first pregnancy. Our baby does not have any peanut allergies.

    The concern is that by eating peanuts you are increasing the childs propensity to inherit allergies of MANY types that you may have, not just peanut allergies. YMMV but given my wifes allergies with causes unknown, our doctors have advised against peanuts.

    With regards to the quantities. My wife chucked out a big number at me (like 200 peanuts per sitting) just to get a reaction. I have not brought up the quantities as it is a moot point now.

  8. #24
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i REALLY think that you are a little OTT with your indignation. MUCH of what has been said has been said tongue-in-cheek (see bekyboo's comments).

    please LIGHTEN up!

    we are not a bunch of militant mothers!!! you simply asked a question and got a response. obviously many of us think that you are worrying unnecessarily and were trying to assuage your anxiety! instead you got VERY defensive and patronising.

    YOU didn't post the extent of your conversation. what you posted came across as if you arguing with your wife over something as simple as a few peanuts!

    OF COURSE, pregnancy is not JUST for the mother to endure, i often think that the father has the short end of the stick. he has to listen to us moan and complain, he has to put up with our moods, and there is not much that he can do except voice his empathy.

    however, i will say that after two EXTREMELY difficult pregnancies, if my hubby started in on something like whether or not i had a few peanuts, i would not have necessarily responded kindly. i will admit, though, that i was MUCH more "careful" about what i ate during my first pregnancy than my second.

    my worry for your wife is that if your poor baby ends up with allergies, she will never hear the end of it...
    (i make this judgement after having read your last post)

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