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Eating Peanuts during Pregancy - the concerned daddy

  1. #25
    charlatan is offline Registered User
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    I believe my description of some of you as militant is fairly accurate.

    Here is how I described the discussion with my wife in the first post:

    "When I questioned her on why she was doing this, she became extremely defensive and angry, and basically refused to discuss the topic with me at any length. Her typical response is 'I am not having this conversation with you'."

    To which here are some highlights of replies:

    "Instead of telling your wife not to over consuming the peanuts & telling her that she has these constant sneezing because of it. You can accompany her to her next doctor visit" - cheribuzz

    "I don't even know you and your post annoyed me.
    Pregnancy is hard enough with all the things you genuinely need to avoid, without being made to feel guilty when you aren't doing anything wrong." - matty

    "don't expect your wife not to be angry or annoyed if you treat her like a child." - matty

    "Frankly, you are entitled to ask questions and be concerned for your unborn child, but if my husband posted something similar to this I would be horrified." - leahH


    and of course, on the opposite side we have users like nicolejoy who would actually consider the husbands viewpoint:

    "If MY husband posted something like this, I would probably stop and think "He really is VERY concerned about this. Is it worth it for me to put him through all that?? Is it really THAT big of a sacrifice for me to make??" - nicolejoy


    Personally I think a number of you ARE militant and extremely judgmental. If I have been patronising I apologize but I have felt the need to defend myself. A number of you have assumed me to be a monster without, IMO, any sign of monster-like behaviour on my part. I believe I have every right to question my wife on eating peanuts or anything else, as my wife does to question my choices.

    I am amused that you did not pull out the 'lighten up' card earlier, when my posts were called annoying, or I was accused of treating my wife like a child.

    Quote Originally Posted by carang
    my worry for your wife is that if your poor baby ends up with allergies, she will never hear the end of it...
    (i make this judgement after having read your last post)
    Please read my posts. If we are unfortunate enough to be in that position I would certainly feel more responsible than 'blaming' her. I believe we must take equal responsibility but given the emotional state she is in, I feel an added duty to make sure no mistakes are made.

    Please do not assume I am a monster. I would never, ever, blame her.

  2. #26
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by charlatan View Post
    We had a similar discussion but decided to go the other way. Perhaps if this was Japan instead of HK it would have been different. Could you perhaps let us know which places you consider ?good quality??
    My FAVOURITE place to go for sushi is Ha Ne Sushi in Causeway Bay, on Jaffe Road. It's always very fresh, very good quality - and not too expensive!! I go to Genki sometimes as well, but I'm a bit more careful there... sometimes their stuff isn't AASSS fresh - but it's generally pretty good.

    I don't eat any sushi from those fridges at the supermarkets - that's a bit risky for me... and I wouldn't eat it from any of those more "local" looking places either.

    I would eat it at the more expensive Japanese restaurants though, but I rarely go to those...

    I think that the main problem in Western countries with sushi is that it's NOT fresh, it's been stored for longer, less people eat it, it's transported further to get to the stores - so of course it's going to have more contamination. Hong Kong's sushi has always seemed to be of a MUCH higher quality than Australia's - and also much cheaper too... My brother in law lives in Osaka, Japan - and he says that the sushi here is even better than Japan too!! *shrugs* but I haven't been there so I don't know about that...

  3. #27
    squirrel is offline Registered User
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    as a respectful husband highly involved in your wife's pregnancy, perhaps you should avoid eating peanuts and sushi as well out of consideration for your wife. It doesn't seem very considerate to flaunt peanuts in front of your wife and then tell her she can't have them. I'm sure your wife will be happy to reciprocate by not sky diving, smoking or drinking Mexico water as well.

  4. #28
    charlatan is offline Registered User
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    squirrel, thanks for your suggestion. I did not eat peanuts yesterday and I have offered to give up peanuts entirely. I could care less about peanuts! I dont think I have eaten a peanut in a year, we were just out of crisps.

    I have chosen to sacrifice my favorite foods for the duration of this pregnancy as a sign of solidarity with my wife. This was my decision but I certainly think it puts me above any beyond any judgment of my consideration in that respect. (I will not go into details of what these are in case my wife ever reads this thread - my faves are pretty specific!)

    Just the concept of 'flaunting peanuts' is so highly ridiculous, I cannot help but think you are joking. But as it is impossible for me to read into your tone, I have tried to reply seriously.

    As for sushi, I am too busy at work to go out for meals very often. When I do go out, it is with my wife and we eat at restaurants that have a good selection for her and my child. I dont recall the last time I had sushi as a result.

    I think you ladies need to LIGHTEN UP! :) Giving up certain foods for 9 months is really no big deal. Why all the drama? I am frankly tired as being portrayed as an inconsiderate monster for wanting to play it safe with my baby.

  5. #29
    charlatan is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolejoy View Post
    My FAVOURITE place to go for sushi is Ha Ne Sushi in Causeway Bay, on Jaffe Road. It's always very fresh, very good quality - and not too expensive!!
    I will certainly keep it in mind! Thanks so much for the suggestion.

    I have to say though that the sushi in japan is absolutely, mind blowingly good. I dont think I have ever had anything remotely close in terms of freshness and taste.

  6. #30
    Matty is offline Registered User
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    Got to say Charlatan, I don't think this is the forum for you.
    You are far too sensitive.
    Generally we don't know each other, and have to draw conculsions from short paragraphs that are posted.
    My inititial reaction was, wow if this guys freaks out about his wife eating 50 peanuts once a month what else is the poor woman dealing with?
    Everyone is going to give you OPINIONS and PERSONAL experiences.
    You get responses that you may think are useful, others that are not.
    There is really no need to respond to every little thing people post.
    You are making jugement calls on whether people are militant after participating in one thread.
    Some of the posters here have over 1000 posts and range from very balanced, to things they care deeply about and have strong opinions on.


    Bored with this thread now, nuff said from me.

  7. #31
    Matty is offline Registered User
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    One last thing in response to needing to LIGHTEN UP.
    The list of foods and other things to avoid in pregnancy can actually be very difficult to maintain, especially when combined with the multitude of things you previously liked, and then developed an aversion too.

    There were many times I desperatley wanted to have a Coke, as I knew it was make me feel better after needing to throw up constantly. But I was avoiding caffeine.
    If my husband had then criticised me for eating a handful of peanuts I'm afraid there would have been violence involved.

    We all do it, but dismissing it as no big deal is wrong, as for some it is.

    I hope your wife has had easy and enjoyable pregnancy.

  8. #32
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    whereas i couldn't give up the soft drinks and drank them everyday...i found it fascinating that the locals in the hospital (i was hospitalised 13 times over 2 pregnancies) gasped in horror when i drank ONE. but they saw nothing wrong with eating the chemical laden instant noodles from 7-11!

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