having a 3rd child?
- 09-26-2008, 10:26 PM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Sai Kung
I guess things are going much better with C now if we are already contemplating a 3rd?
It's amazing what a little sleep can do!
- 09-26-2008, 11:00 PM #10
i find this thread REALLY interesting!
i would LOVE to have 3. have always thought i'd have 3...but after two terrible pregnancies, don't know if i could do it again.
however, i feel like part of our family is missing. i think i'm the only one that feels that way. our two kids get along wonderfully well. hardly ever fight and when they do it's because the youngest doesn't want to hold hands with the oldest (i kid you not!). after my last wheelchair-bound pregnancy, having another is a VERY hard sell for hubby. he's happy with what we've got. don't get me wrong, my children are amazing, but like i said, i kind of feel like someone is missing.
one other problem that we have when talking about #3, besides $$$, is that twins run in my family... STRONGLY! my mum was a twin (her brother died at birth), and i have 3 sets of twin cousins on my mum's side. one uncle actually has two sets of twins...naturally! so, over 1/2 of my cousins are twins!
i'm a little worried that if we decided to do it one last time, i'd end up with 4, not 3... that's enough to give me pause.
my mum keeps telling me to be happy with the wonderful children that we have. they are happy and healthy etc etc etc...but i still get that gnawing feeling...
- 09-26-2008, 11:59 PM #11Banned
- Join Date
- May 2004
I really want to go for the 3rd. I was undecided for awhile, but now I think tht I will regret it if I don't. My husabnd doesn't agree. He grew up in a family of 2 and is not on speaking terms with his brother. I grew up in a family of 4. Ithink the more children there are it is far more unlikely to end up in a situation like where my husband is now. My mom grew up with 7 children and sure there are fights, but nothing that could completely break up the whole family just because 2 don't get along. I worry about the poor example my husband and his brother are setting for my children and I don't want them growing up thinking that this is normal in anyway. It also doesn't help that many of his old friends that live in Hk have only one child and like it that way.
- 09-27-2008, 07:31 AM #12Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
yes Matty - things much better with C. some reflux meds and a bit of persistence with the daytime sleeping and i now have the BEST baby in the world ;-)
my husband wants 4 and I have always wanted more than 2 - so as long as we can concieve then it is fairly inevitable that a 3rd will be on its way at some point. not right now through!!!
I guess I'm just after a bit of insight into how the transition went for some people. I was a bit shocked at how hard i found the change from 1 to 2 - especially as i have live in help!!
I'm very aware that I'm not getting any younger and that we had a bit of difficulty conceiving the last one..... tick tick tick
- 09-28-2008, 11:39 AM #13Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Hong Kong
Very interesting thread. I'm still adjusting to my first one but think about having my second one and I'm just curious how other mothers feel about age difference. In HK, it seems like a lot of families have children very close in age probably because of having helpers. I want another child but really don't think I have the patience for 2 children in nappies at the same time. I do want my children to reap the benefits of having a sibling but I don't want to rob my second child of the bonding experience because I'm spread thinly. Any thoughts or advice? I'm not getting any younger either so I think about this a lot now. I love my little bub and I'm having so much fun right now. I just don't want my second one to miss out on the individual attention.
- 09-28-2008, 12:22 PM #14Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
hi ladybug - the age gap between my 1st and 2nd is 27months. so just over 2 years. this has worked out great for us as he is in pre-school 3 mornings a week for 2.5hrs a time. and also has 2 playdates every week that my helper takes him to. so obviously i don't have as much time for my 2nd as i had for my 1st we have quite a few opportunites every week to chill out together for some really nice quality time. Now that the baby is 3months old I leave him with my helper 2 afternoons a week and spend one-on-one time with the toddler. its working out wonderfully. If i wasn't in HK hopefully i would be near family and my mum or dad would be the one to take the baby for a few hours a week... Baby #2 is getting much more individual attention than i thought he would ;-)
not so sure about the how much of a gap I'd like for the next one though....but of course if its anything like last time it will be out of my hands and I'll get what I get!
- 09-28-2008, 02:30 PM #15
my two are almost exactly 2 years apart. (only 6 days between the birthdays.)
I really like the age difference. #1 was toilet trained before #2 came along, although, we did put him back in nappies for about 6 weeks after the birth of #2. #1 always liked to help with the baby.
and since the baby started walking at 10.5 months(same walking age as my #1), they have played together tremendously well. they LOVE playing together. when we take #2 out and leave #1 (doesn't happen very often), when we get home, #1 spend the first 10 minutes hugging and ****ing his sister and visa versa!
for us it was great! now #2 is 20 months, i'm starting to wonder if we should go for # 3 or just be happy with 2? part of me thinks.... sleepless nights??? more nappies???? don't know if i want to go there...i may have to wait to be a grandmother so that i can reap all the benefits with none of the hard work!
- 09-28-2008, 03:30 PM #16Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
2 1/2 years between my oldest and the twins. I always planned on at least 2 years. We didn't start trying for #2 until our oldest was 15 months (we conceived her right away). We conceived 2nd try, 25 months apart, but I miscarried that baby. A few months later we conceived twins. Besides only wanting 2, no way I would try for another, I could easily end up with another set! The older you get, the more likely you'll release 2 eggs, so over 35 years old, your chances go up. Also the more pregnancies you go through, the higher chance for twins ... Never think it won't happen to you ... it happened to me too!
- By pandaclara in forum EducationReplies: 10Last Post: 04-13-2010, 12:23 PM
- By spockey in forum Everything ElseReplies: 3Last Post: 09-26-2009, 04:56 PM
- By louisouis in forum Parenting - Toddlers and PreschoolersReplies: 3Last Post: 05-04-2009, 01:58 PM
- By cemily in forum Everything ElseReplies: 1Last Post: 09-27-2005, 01:33 PM
- By Exalted Shrimp in forum EducationReplies: 11Last Post: 09-03-2004, 08:52 AM