Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Baby frightened of daddy

  1. #17
    joannek is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    1,153
    when my baby was newborn, she cried every time i held her, except when i was nursing her. any other time, she'd cry. it used to frustrtate me a lot, and i think for the first 3 mths, i didn't hold her at all, except when she was nursing. my husband said i was very tensed & nervous when i held her, and my baby picked up the stress from me. (i was suffering from post-partum depression, so i must have bn very stressed out). eventually when i made a conscious effort to relax before holding my baby, she stopped crying when i held her. so i guess maybe your husband is generally stressed & your baby picks it up. some babies are more sensitive than others in picking up emotions.

    pls talk to your husband gently about trying to relax (like watching a funny tv show or obeserving his own breath for a few minutes) before he holds you son. and pls remind him that a 3mth old is fragile in every way, his bones can be easily broken, skin easily bruised, brain easily shaken, so please don't hurt him. stay around when he's holding him, take over once baby starts gettng tensed & cry. let your husband know that eventually he'll be able to hold him. maybe put baby on the floor, on a blanket, both of you sit next to baby & coo with him, so that your husband is feeling that they're bonding too.

    good luck!

  2. #18
    aprilbaby is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    cyberport
    Posts
    66
    Jeanyeeli, are you for real?!?!? I haven't posted on this site for a long time, but seeing your post I feel I must now, I am so enraged!! Your husband sounds like he has a screw loose, how can anyone in their right mind hit a baby, bruise a helpless, defenceless 4 month old baby. Surely he understands that your son, isnt purposely trying to upset him. He is only a baby!!!! You as a mother need to protect your son against this abuse, yes abuse.....the chances are it will happen again. If I was you, I would threaten him with the police/authorities if he doesn't start acting like a loving, caring protective Father and follow through your threat if this ever happens again.

  3. #19
    MilkMonster is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    402
    I think its important to remember that men also go through postpartum depression and stress related to the change a baby brings. I am not saying what he did is ok, it's definitely not and I agree with the other posters that you have to put an end to the hitting immediately. My youngest son is 5mths and he still cries a lot...one and off for a few hours and it's very very hard to deal with. If your husband has never been around babies he will not know what to expect and how to interact with your baby. It is up to you to lead the way!! Maybe you can try taking the baby away BEFORE he starts crying or just when you can see the frustration on your husband's face. Also important to tell your husband, usually when they get home, that is the crankiest time for babies. They are tired from the day and all they want is mommy. This is really normal. Even my toddler is like this and won't let my husband put him to bed and he LOVES his dad. Does your husband have any friends who are also dads? Maybe it would help if he could talk to another dad to vent his feelings.

  4. #20
    MilkMonster is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    402
    the other thing I forgot to mention, babies can get scared very easily. Our elder son used to cry whenever my brother-in-law spoke (even at 7mths he was like this) because his voice was really deep and loud. Try asking your husband to speak a few octaves higher and soften his tone.

  5. #21
    Speculator is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Sai Kung/Ware, Herts, UK
    Posts
    101
    I am a father and I would not dream of hitting my baby daughter! This is child abuse pure and simple and your number 1 priority is to protect your baby.

  6. #22
    snagito is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    pokfulam
    Posts
    375
    Jeanyeeli,

    I think you are very brave for having the courage to speak out about what has happened. Please know that we do sympathise with your situation and understand that you are trying to do the best that you can in obviously difficult circumstances. Are there grandparents around that could give you a break with the baby - so that you could talk with your husband about what's happened and why it's so wrong to hit a baby? also the suggestion about meeting other dads is a great one. I know you might be feeling scared or embarrased to share your feelings in person with others but hang in there, we are here to listen and support you.

    Take care of yourself and your little baby

  7. #23
    mosmom is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Hong Kong SAR
    Posts
    199
    Uhm, I know it will sound like I want to stir up things... but does this case fall under criminal offence? Guess I'm not helping jeanyeeli with this statement, but coming out with this 'truth' in a public forum makes the case a public issue now, doesn't it?
    Rani/Shri, what do you think?
    I am deeply concerned about what's going on with this 4-month-old - if the story is true.. Apparently, there are trolls in forums who come up with fake stories. I hope it's just something like that and not a real thing happening that we NOW know about!

  8. #24
    Neha is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mid Levels, Hong Kong
    Posts
    1,337
    We dont really know how he hit the baby so to call child abuse authorities and all will be a little too soon. the decision lies with the mother she will decide what is best for her child. Give her a chance

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Ideas for Christmas gifts for daddy from baby
    By FutureHKmom in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 12-03-2009, 04:55 PM
  2. How helpful is the daddy in taking care of your baby?
    By Hunter in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 04-29-2009, 10:57 PM
  3. Eating Peanuts during Pregancy - the concerned daddy
    By charlatan in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 08-26-2008, 11:17 AM
  4. Help! Baby don't want Daddy
    By Daizy in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-02-2005, 08:14 PM
  5. Christmas gift for Daddy from a toddler
    By svasbt in forum Parenting - Toddlers and Preschoolers
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-16-2004, 07:48 PM
Scroll to top